The first two are of JD and the last one is of Cole. Excuse the tape on his face and his nasal tube - underneath, he's cute as a button!
Friday, September 29, 2006
A few updated pics...
Thought I would post a few updated pictures; not much to report. Lots of feeding, growing and pooping. Headed back to the hospital for our night visit so short on time. I'll post a detailed update tomorrow!
The first two are of JD and the last one is of Cole. Excuse the tape on his face and his nasal tube - underneath, he's cute as a button!
The first two are of JD and the last one is of Cole. Excuse the tape on his face and his nasal tube - underneath, he's cute as a button!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Another day down...
We'll chalk this day up as another uneventful day so far (not a bad thing). The boys were resting very peacefully today while I was there - they were in the midst of their sleep study which is being done from 12pm to 12am tonight. When I arrived, they were all hooked up with a rats nest of wires in their isoletes from all of the probes and monitoring devices. They were not in any discomfort, which is great. In fact, they probably didn't even know that anything was different. Sadly, I didn't get to hold them at all today which is a first in MANY weeks. I've been so spoiled. That makes it all the more fun tomorrow when I get to have them out!!!
Cole gained another 50 grams last night (almost 2 whole ounces) so I think he's got the hang of this "growing" thing. Both boys are so happy and content most of the time - and today they got a lot of good rest so that should do them both right.
I'm off to my NICU parents support group tonight - I'm not a big support group gal but the NICU social worker has worked hard to put this together so I'm going to give it a try. Can't hurt. Until tomorrow - thanks for the continued prayers. You guys are getting us through this!!!
Cole gained another 50 grams last night (almost 2 whole ounces) so I think he's got the hang of this "growing" thing. Both boys are so happy and content most of the time - and today they got a lot of good rest so that should do them both right.
I'm off to my NICU parents support group tonight - I'm not a big support group gal but the NICU social worker has worked hard to put this together so I'm going to give it a try. Can't hurt. Until tomorrow - thanks for the continued prayers. You guys are getting us through this!!!
To my IF sisters...
I just wanted to give a quick shout out to my IF sisters - you guys know who you are. I was thinking about ALL of you today and hoping that you are all still full of hope and positive energy - wherever you might be in your journey's. I know that we had a good run in early spring with some pregnancies - and understanding how nerve wracking pregnancy can be for those who have had losses or struggled, hats of to you guys for hanging in there. All reports sound good thus far so keep the faith!
And for those of you who are still in the midst of cycling or dealing with failed cycles or losses, you are never far from my thoughts. Stay strong, courageous and hopeful. It's a tough road and in some ways, it doesn't get easier; but the reward at the end is worth every second. People always told me that and when you are in the midst of struggle, hardship, frustration and sadness, it's hard to imagine. Keep your chins up and keep fighting the good fight. Dig deep - you've got it in you!
Sending hugs and HOPE out to all of you - you're always in my prayers!
And for those of you who are still in the midst of cycling or dealing with failed cycles or losses, you are never far from my thoughts. Stay strong, courageous and hopeful. It's a tough road and in some ways, it doesn't get easier; but the reward at the end is worth every second. People always told me that and when you are in the midst of struggle, hardship, frustration and sadness, it's hard to imagine. Keep your chins up and keep fighting the good fight. Dig deep - you've got it in you!
Sending hugs and HOPE out to all of you - you're always in my prayers!
My Very Wanted Child
Someone sent this to me a long time ago and I saved it, hoping to be able to read it one day and pass it along to my own child(ren). Here we are - and although they are not quite home yet, they have arrived on earth. I wanted to post it for all of you other Mom's. It's a keeper!
My Very Wanted Child
A Parents Poem
My Hearts all a-flutter
My thoughts are running wild
For with you I now have
My very wanted child.
Someday you will ask me if I wanted you true,
And I’ll smile and I’ll think, “If you only knew!”
In so many ways, I’ve wanted you here,
Long before you came to me I held you so dear.
There was a place in my heart just waiting for you,
I kept it wide open just waiting for you.
And now you are here, home with me at last,
My waiting for you is a thing of the past.
Together we will laugh, together we will play,
Together we will cherish each and every day.
Some days may seem long, some nights even longer,
But with each day I spend with you my love will grow stronger.
Although waiting for you dear, did not make me love you more,
It also did not stop me, my dreams of you endured.
I need not ask for anything, my world is now complete,
My life is full, my hearts content, since you and I did meet.
My hearts all a-flutter,
My thoughts are running wild.
For with you I now have
My very wanted Child.
- Ginny Lapporte
My Very Wanted Child
A Parents Poem
My Hearts all a-flutter
My thoughts are running wild
For with you I now have
My very wanted child.
Someday you will ask me if I wanted you true,
And I’ll smile and I’ll think, “If you only knew!”
In so many ways, I’ve wanted you here,
Long before you came to me I held you so dear.
There was a place in my heart just waiting for you,
I kept it wide open just waiting for you.
And now you are here, home with me at last,
My waiting for you is a thing of the past.
Together we will laugh, together we will play,
Together we will cherish each and every day.
Some days may seem long, some nights even longer,
But with each day I spend with you my love will grow stronger.
Although waiting for you dear, did not make me love you more,
It also did not stop me, my dreams of you endured.
I need not ask for anything, my world is now complete,
My life is full, my hearts content, since you and I did meet.
My hearts all a-flutter,
My thoughts are running wild.
For with you I now have
My very wanted Child.
- Ginny Lapporte
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Look guys, I've got new duds!
What a day!
You can imagine our surprise when we walked into NICU this afternoon and found JD with clothes on!!! You can barely see his outfit in the picture above but he's really dressed! They are working on getting him to keep up his own body temperature now so he can get out of the isolete into an open crib. It will take a week or so but he's getting close. His latest weight was 2lb, 15.8 oz last night so he's probably going to break THREE pounds tonight. Cole gained a good amount of weight last night too and he's up to about 2lb, 3.5 oz! They are weaning Cole off of his oxygen slowly now, which is wonderful. And they upped both of their feedings today about 1cc per feed. It's all good!
The eye exams went great today - brave Daddy pulled through again and stayed with the boys during their exams. Mommy wimped out and waited in the hall. They did well though (aside from showing how great thier crying lungs are) and everything looked normal for them both. They will have a follow up exam in 3 weeks but they were right on track for their age.
Sometime tomorrow they are starting a sleep study on the boys since they are still having a fair amount of A's & B's; they want to find out if the cause is reflux, prematurity or a combo of both. This will make it easier for them to know what to treat more aggressively. They aren't sure whether to up their caffeine or to up their reflux meds. I love that they are being so proactive so that they know exactly what to treat! The study entails putting a probe down their throat, adjacent to the feeding tube, which will monitor what is going on inside their little bodies. It's a 12 hour study so after the 12 hours are up, they pick up the probes, along with the nurses notes and data on thier chartable episodes of apnea and Brady's and then make an analysis and make recommendations. I think it's a wonderful idea and it's not too uncomfortable for them while it's going on. We're anxious to get the results back, of course.
That's about it for today; all in all, a GREAT day so far for the boys. Cole and I had a long kangaroo session today (over 2 hours) so it gave me plenty of time to chat with him and keep rooting him on. He's so alert now - he's really making progress. Here are a few new pictures of the little guys from today;
COLE
JD
You can imagine our surprise when we walked into NICU this afternoon and found JD with clothes on!!! You can barely see his outfit in the picture above but he's really dressed! They are working on getting him to keep up his own body temperature now so he can get out of the isolete into an open crib. It will take a week or so but he's getting close. His latest weight was 2lb, 15.8 oz last night so he's probably going to break THREE pounds tonight. Cole gained a good amount of weight last night too and he's up to about 2lb, 3.5 oz! They are weaning Cole off of his oxygen slowly now, which is wonderful. And they upped both of their feedings today about 1cc per feed. It's all good!
The eye exams went great today - brave Daddy pulled through again and stayed with the boys during their exams. Mommy wimped out and waited in the hall. They did well though (aside from showing how great thier crying lungs are) and everything looked normal for them both. They will have a follow up exam in 3 weeks but they were right on track for their age.
Sometime tomorrow they are starting a sleep study on the boys since they are still having a fair amount of A's & B's; they want to find out if the cause is reflux, prematurity or a combo of both. This will make it easier for them to know what to treat more aggressively. They aren't sure whether to up their caffeine or to up their reflux meds. I love that they are being so proactive so that they know exactly what to treat! The study entails putting a probe down their throat, adjacent to the feeding tube, which will monitor what is going on inside their little bodies. It's a 12 hour study so after the 12 hours are up, they pick up the probes, along with the nurses notes and data on thier chartable episodes of apnea and Brady's and then make an analysis and make recommendations. I think it's a wonderful idea and it's not too uncomfortable for them while it's going on. We're anxious to get the results back, of course.
That's about it for today; all in all, a GREAT day so far for the boys. Cole and I had a long kangaroo session today (over 2 hours) so it gave me plenty of time to chat with him and keep rooting him on. He's so alert now - he's really making progress. Here are a few new pictures of the little guys from today;
COLE
JD
Cole ate his wheaties!
Morning report was that Cole gained 40 grams last night! That is over an ounce. Hopefully things are starting to click for him and he's on the right track. I can't wait to see him this morning, an ounce makes a big difference these days!
More updates later; wish us luck on the eye exam later today. I'll post more tonight.
P.S. Debbie K, if you read this, will you resend me your phone number? Thought I had it and can't find it! Can't wait to chat in person and catch up on some of this stuff. Hope Sophie and Sally are doing well!
More updates later; wish us luck on the eye exam later today. I'll post more tonight.
P.S. Debbie K, if you read this, will you resend me your phone number? Thought I had it and can't find it! Can't wait to chat in person and catch up on some of this stuff. Hope Sophie and Sally are doing well!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Confessions and Thanks
It's high time that I get out of this funk and start rallying again. This day has dragged on for what seems like forever, as I was in a quandary all day long. The last few days have taken a toll on me and as I cried periodically throughout the day, I was suddenly yanked back into reality and quickly remembered how much we have to be thankful for. C has been in a funk the last few days too (he adamantly denies it), so it must be in the air here. Afterall, this is the 4 week birthday of my precious little angels! What more could I ask for?
As I sit and reflect on what has got my goat, I come up with nothing that really warrants being so irritable. In recounting the day, I remember my morning drive to the hospital today when the sun was coming up in the cool brisk fall air. I was smiling as I drove out because I was excited to see the boys on their 4 week birthday. I was also trying to appreciate my independence and freedom that has returned since being sent home from the hospital almost 4 weeks ago. What I would have given back in July to wake up in the morning and drive my car out on a nice sunny morning.
I got to the hospital and something snapped - maybe it's the monotony? Maybe it's the fact that my patience are running thin and I want my babies to come home? Maybe it's the realization that I've made over 90 trips to the hospital since the day I was released? Maybe it's the fact that we have several weeks to go before they get to come home with us? And maybe, just maybe, it's those hormones wreaking havoc on my well being? Who knows. But I'm back on track now. Enough of that PO'd attitude. That won't get me anywhere, will it?
Shame on me. We are so lucky. I was reminded by a dear friend of where we were a year ago. I had just lost my 3rd pregnancy. I was pretty hopeless. And now look at us - we're parents. Although the babies aren't home yet, we're a family. We spend time together and look forward to family times. We are advocates for our kids and our priorities are different. My heart overflows with love for these boys - all day long. I can't get enough of them.
Our visit tonight was quick - both boys were doing well and resting peacefully. They had a good day today; I'm starting to think that some of the recent changes that have been made are taking effect. The new meds are hopefully making their lives a little bit easier. I had quite a pep talk with Cole today so hopefully he's going to gain some "grams" tonight. Ounces would be better - but we'll take what we can get. He's so feisty - it's amazing. He's just not gaining weight like we would like to see. It kind of makes me laugh because he's so feisty that he's burning all of his calories being so "busy". He turned himself over today - from his back to his belly. I watched him work on it for about 10 minutes and he did it. Who would have thought that a little 2 pounder could flip himself over? He's completely amazing!
So we press on and continue to dig deep for those patience. Thanksgiving is our goal for homecoming for the boys - I cannot imagine a better Thanksgiving gift; to spend Thanksgiving 2006 with our new little family would be the best gift we could ever have...it would be the most memorable Turkey Day ever. Come on boys, "I think you can!".
As I sit and reflect on what has got my goat, I come up with nothing that really warrants being so irritable. In recounting the day, I remember my morning drive to the hospital today when the sun was coming up in the cool brisk fall air. I was smiling as I drove out because I was excited to see the boys on their 4 week birthday. I was also trying to appreciate my independence and freedom that has returned since being sent home from the hospital almost 4 weeks ago. What I would have given back in July to wake up in the morning and drive my car out on a nice sunny morning.
I got to the hospital and something snapped - maybe it's the monotony? Maybe it's the fact that my patience are running thin and I want my babies to come home? Maybe it's the realization that I've made over 90 trips to the hospital since the day I was released? Maybe it's the fact that we have several weeks to go before they get to come home with us? And maybe, just maybe, it's those hormones wreaking havoc on my well being? Who knows. But I'm back on track now. Enough of that PO'd attitude. That won't get me anywhere, will it?
Shame on me. We are so lucky. I was reminded by a dear friend of where we were a year ago. I had just lost my 3rd pregnancy. I was pretty hopeless. And now look at us - we're parents. Although the babies aren't home yet, we're a family. We spend time together and look forward to family times. We are advocates for our kids and our priorities are different. My heart overflows with love for these boys - all day long. I can't get enough of them.
Our visit tonight was quick - both boys were doing well and resting peacefully. They had a good day today; I'm starting to think that some of the recent changes that have been made are taking effect. The new meds are hopefully making their lives a little bit easier. I had quite a pep talk with Cole today so hopefully he's going to gain some "grams" tonight. Ounces would be better - but we'll take what we can get. He's so feisty - it's amazing. He's just not gaining weight like we would like to see. It kind of makes me laugh because he's so feisty that he's burning all of his calories being so "busy". He turned himself over today - from his back to his belly. I watched him work on it for about 10 minutes and he did it. Who would have thought that a little 2 pounder could flip himself over? He's completely amazing!
So we press on and continue to dig deep for those patience. Thanksgiving is our goal for homecoming for the boys - I cannot imagine a better Thanksgiving gift; to spend Thanksgiving 2006 with our new little family would be the best gift we could ever have...it would be the most memorable Turkey Day ever. Come on boys, "I think you can!".
Monday, September 25, 2006
They are acting very "Twinny"
That was today's quote by the head nurse; "Twinny" is not always a bad thing ~ but I think we're in trouble when they get older! It's amazing how much these two boys act alike. What one does, the other does - maybe not at the same time, but they have the same ailments, issues and habits already!
Mommy was a bit stressed today during the visits - we had a lot going on today for both of them. Cole's crit levels were low this morning so they gave him another blood transfusion. Part I at 8am and then part II at 2pm. He looks great after getting the blood and much more pink and healthy than before he was transfused. It will make him feel much better and more energetic for sure.
As for JD, they cultured his nasal secretions that they have been suctioning due to his reflux and found some bacteria that they are going to treat immediately. The treatment for this is a nebulizer done in the form of a breathing treatment. The moist air is blown near their face and the antibiotic and medicated air clears out their nasal cavity. Both boys are being treated with this now, every 8 hours, to help clear out their sinuses. With the reflux taking their digestive stuff into their respiratory system, they were bound to start an infection if they weren't treated.
Both boys are now on continuous feeds to help with the reflux. I have seen an improvement actually so that is a good thing. It will be interesting to see how they go about weaning them off of the continuous feeds - hopefully by that time their little systems will be better developed and the reflux will be better (or gone!).
Cole started sucking on his pacifier today - which is GREAT news! He loves it! He's definitely got the hang of it. What a milestone for him right at 32 weeks! YAY for Cole! Although he hasn't gained too much weight yet, he's definitely looking different and filling out that skin of his. His cheeks are even starting to get a little plump. He's looking rather cute I might add; and I know I'm biased.
I got to hold JD for a little while today; and hope to hold Cole tonight. We're going to have to refrain from holding them at the same time for the next few days in case they are passing this bacteria back and forth. Usually when I kangaroo them both, they are face to face and sneezing and hacking on each other. Until they are cleared up, I'll have to kangaroo them separately. I don't mind, but really enjoy having them both together so that they can get reacquainted with each other. I guess we have plenty of time for that later right?
Their eye exams are scheduled for tomorrow or Thursday so wish us luck. Apparently it's a very quick procedure to check their eyes so I hope that they are cooperative and pass with flying colors!
Mommy was a bit stressed today during the visits - we had a lot going on today for both of them. Cole's crit levels were low this morning so they gave him another blood transfusion. Part I at 8am and then part II at 2pm. He looks great after getting the blood and much more pink and healthy than before he was transfused. It will make him feel much better and more energetic for sure.
As for JD, they cultured his nasal secretions that they have been suctioning due to his reflux and found some bacteria that they are going to treat immediately. The treatment for this is a nebulizer done in the form of a breathing treatment. The moist air is blown near their face and the antibiotic and medicated air clears out their nasal cavity. Both boys are being treated with this now, every 8 hours, to help clear out their sinuses. With the reflux taking their digestive stuff into their respiratory system, they were bound to start an infection if they weren't treated.
Both boys are now on continuous feeds to help with the reflux. I have seen an improvement actually so that is a good thing. It will be interesting to see how they go about weaning them off of the continuous feeds - hopefully by that time their little systems will be better developed and the reflux will be better (or gone!).
Cole started sucking on his pacifier today - which is GREAT news! He loves it! He's definitely got the hang of it. What a milestone for him right at 32 weeks! YAY for Cole! Although he hasn't gained too much weight yet, he's definitely looking different and filling out that skin of his. His cheeks are even starting to get a little plump. He's looking rather cute I might add; and I know I'm biased.
I got to hold JD for a little while today; and hope to hold Cole tonight. We're going to have to refrain from holding them at the same time for the next few days in case they are passing this bacteria back and forth. Usually when I kangaroo them both, they are face to face and sneezing and hacking on each other. Until they are cleared up, I'll have to kangaroo them separately. I don't mind, but really enjoy having them both together so that they can get reacquainted with each other. I guess we have plenty of time for that later right?
Their eye exams are scheduled for tomorrow or Thursday so wish us luck. Apparently it's a very quick procedure to check their eyes so I hope that they are cooperative and pass with flying colors!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Almost 32 Weeks Gestation - 4 weeks old!
Tomorrow marks the boys 32 week gestational age (they call that "corrected age"; and Tuesday marks their 4 week old birthday. They have had another good week overall; this week there will be some more milestones so we continue to keep our fingers crossed for another good week.
They started both kids on Iron today; and they went ahead with their reflux medicine change to Prevacid. There might be a day or two in between while the meds change that their reflux gets aggravated so we're hoping for an easy transition. Both will also start on EPO shots this week (3 x's per week) which helps to increase the red blood cells that are manufactured in their bone marrow. This is another routine treatment for preemies. Cole's feedings have been stretched a bit further to help his reflux so he is now on a continuous feed. He is fed over the course of 11 hours at a time, with one hour off before the next round. That means he's eating for 22 hours of the day! They were thinking that having a less full belly might help his digestive system adjust a bit better to keep the reflux under control.
JD is getting better and better with his pacifier so they were talking today about maybe giving him a try at the bottle in the next week or so. They will gradually introduce the bottle - they will only give him a little bit of food via bottle and the rest will be given through his OG tube until he gets the whole suck/swallow thing down. It will take some time for them both to adjust to bottle feeds where they can take a full feeding in a reasonable amount of time (without falling asleep or refluxing it all back up!). They keep the OG tubes in for a while, even while bottle feeding, just to be sure that they are getting adequate nutrition. Both boys will have their first eye exam this week which is something I don't really want to be present for. Apparently it is much like an adult eye exam so it is a bit uncomfortable for the babies. The nurses say that the eye doc that does the exams is very quick with the babies so that is a good thing. This is another routine thing for preemies - many times preemies can have eye/retina damage due to the oxygen levels that they experience when they are first intubated at birth. We're keeping our fingers crossed for a good eye exam for both of them.
Our routine is getting a little easier now - I'm usually at the hospital three times a day still; I can't seem to stay away. I go at 8am, then again at 11am or 2pm, and then C. and I go up at 8pm to say goodnight. My daytime visit is my favorite since that is when I get to hold them. Often times I am alone for that visit so it's great to spend time with the boys and read to them or just chit chat. It's pretty quiet around the NICU during the day so it's less chaotic than early am or evening;
We have a new roommate in our room - a 35 week old baby boy who also has a bit of reflux so we're now the "reflux boys". His family is awesome - and we are enjoying meeting some of the parents who frequent NICU like we do. There's a strange comfort in knowing that these parents are experiencing much of the same thing that we are. Everyone is so kind and caring that we have met.
Onward to another week; every day is a bit closer to their homecoming. I know I say this with every post but I can't help but thank everyone again for all of their thoughts, support, prayers and well wishes. Everyone has been amazing and we cannot thank you enough for being there for us. Many thanks and love to all.
They started both kids on Iron today; and they went ahead with their reflux medicine change to Prevacid. There might be a day or two in between while the meds change that their reflux gets aggravated so we're hoping for an easy transition. Both will also start on EPO shots this week (3 x's per week) which helps to increase the red blood cells that are manufactured in their bone marrow. This is another routine treatment for preemies. Cole's feedings have been stretched a bit further to help his reflux so he is now on a continuous feed. He is fed over the course of 11 hours at a time, with one hour off before the next round. That means he's eating for 22 hours of the day! They were thinking that having a less full belly might help his digestive system adjust a bit better to keep the reflux under control.
JD is getting better and better with his pacifier so they were talking today about maybe giving him a try at the bottle in the next week or so. They will gradually introduce the bottle - they will only give him a little bit of food via bottle and the rest will be given through his OG tube until he gets the whole suck/swallow thing down. It will take some time for them both to adjust to bottle feeds where they can take a full feeding in a reasonable amount of time (without falling asleep or refluxing it all back up!). They keep the OG tubes in for a while, even while bottle feeding, just to be sure that they are getting adequate nutrition. Both boys will have their first eye exam this week which is something I don't really want to be present for. Apparently it is much like an adult eye exam so it is a bit uncomfortable for the babies. The nurses say that the eye doc that does the exams is very quick with the babies so that is a good thing. This is another routine thing for preemies - many times preemies can have eye/retina damage due to the oxygen levels that they experience when they are first intubated at birth. We're keeping our fingers crossed for a good eye exam for both of them.
Our routine is getting a little easier now - I'm usually at the hospital three times a day still; I can't seem to stay away. I go at 8am, then again at 11am or 2pm, and then C. and I go up at 8pm to say goodnight. My daytime visit is my favorite since that is when I get to hold them. Often times I am alone for that visit so it's great to spend time with the boys and read to them or just chit chat. It's pretty quiet around the NICU during the day so it's less chaotic than early am or evening;
We have a new roommate in our room - a 35 week old baby boy who also has a bit of reflux so we're now the "reflux boys". His family is awesome - and we are enjoying meeting some of the parents who frequent NICU like we do. There's a strange comfort in knowing that these parents are experiencing much of the same thing that we are. Everyone is so kind and caring that we have met.
Onward to another week; every day is a bit closer to their homecoming. I know I say this with every post but I can't help but thank everyone again for all of their thoughts, support, prayers and well wishes. Everyone has been amazing and we cannot thank you enough for being there for us. Many thanks and love to all.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Daddy's Boys
Here are a few updated pics from our visit today; Daddy doesn't always get to hold the boys since Mommy holds them every day during the day so it's extra special for both Dad and the boys when he gets to hold them - usually on the weekends when we have plenty of time to hang out as a family.
The boys are doing well today; both had some weight gain last night and aside from a few changes in their meds, all is about the same. As I always say, no news is good news and we like boring reports these days...that means that they are doing well.
It's been a bit more gloomy around NICU than usual - our little girl roommate that we had left yesterday to be transferred to Hopkins. She needs some special surgery on her eyes and she has a stage 4 brain hemorrhage. She was born many weeks before our little guys and has had quite a struggle - but she is one tough little gal. Our prayers are with her and her family as they continue to forge ahead with Baby Sophia. With any luck, after her surgery, they will transfer her back to AAMC NICU. It's quite a hike to go to Hopkins each day. The NICU is not as full as it has been since we got there - there have been lots of babies discharged lately which is a good thing. Although there are still many sick babies there, it's always a good thing to see babies finally get to go home. We feel very fortunate so far that our little guys are doing well - seeing the other families there who struggle with their babies is really tough. Thanks to all of the love and prayers surrounding us, we feel extra lucky!
Have a good weekend all!
Daddy & Cole
Cole
JD
The boys are doing well today; both had some weight gain last night and aside from a few changes in their meds, all is about the same. As I always say, no news is good news and we like boring reports these days...that means that they are doing well.
It's been a bit more gloomy around NICU than usual - our little girl roommate that we had left yesterday to be transferred to Hopkins. She needs some special surgery on her eyes and she has a stage 4 brain hemorrhage. She was born many weeks before our little guys and has had quite a struggle - but she is one tough little gal. Our prayers are with her and her family as they continue to forge ahead with Baby Sophia. With any luck, after her surgery, they will transfer her back to AAMC NICU. It's quite a hike to go to Hopkins each day. The NICU is not as full as it has been since we got there - there have been lots of babies discharged lately which is a good thing. Although there are still many sick babies there, it's always a good thing to see babies finally get to go home. We feel very fortunate so far that our little guys are doing well - seeing the other families there who struggle with their babies is really tough. Thanks to all of the love and prayers surrounding us, we feel extra lucky!
Have a good weekend all!
Daddy & Cole
Cole
JD
Friday, September 22, 2006
Stronger every day...
Overall, it's been a very good week for the boys (hence, for Mommy & Daddy too!). Both boys are growing well this week and have put on a few grams/ounces. Cole is almost to his birth weight now - which is what we've been hoping for. With their increased calories this week, we think they are turning the corner to start growing pretty steadily. JD is up to 2lb, 11 oz - BIG BOY!
Their Great Aunt, Kathy, arrived last night so they got to meet her for the first time. I'm hoping that before her departure next week she will get to hold one of them.
JD has started to suck on a pacifier now which is a great milestone for him - at this early age he's getting the hang of the feeding reflex which is great. At only 31.5 weeks gestation, I'm pretty proud of him! Cole isn't too interested in his paci just yet so hopefully he'll catch on soon too.
I will do a better update tomorrow; just wanted to get something posted to let everyone know that we're all doing well and getting stronger every day! Love to all.
Their Great Aunt, Kathy, arrived last night so they got to meet her for the first time. I'm hoping that before her departure next week she will get to hold one of them.
JD has started to suck on a pacifier now which is a great milestone for him - at this early age he's getting the hang of the feeding reflex which is great. At only 31.5 weeks gestation, I'm pretty proud of him! Cole isn't too interested in his paci just yet so hopefully he'll catch on soon too.
I will do a better update tomorrow; just wanted to get something posted to let everyone know that we're all doing well and getting stronger every day! Love to all.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
The Traveler & Scooter
Those are the boys first two nicknames (many more to come, I'm sure) - and it refers to the fact that they are mobile in their beds now! They were both caught today slithering all around their isoletes - in fact, both of them rolled off of their bed and were resting in the crevice between the bed and the side of the isolete; I guess they are tired of being cooped up! I wish I had a photo of Cole as he was resting comfortably against the door of his bed - smarty pants he is.
They both had a pretty good night last night and day today; I hope I'm not jinxing them by saying that. Their nurse from last night gave them both angel pins for their isoletes this morning. I took that as a good sign.
I kangaroo'd with them again today for about an hour. They did great. Cole was weaned down on his canula flow today - he's gone from 4 liters to 2 liters in just two days. He's making progress!
When I left tonight, they had just been weighed. Cole was up about 6 grams, to 1 lb, 14.75 oz. And JD was up about 10 grams, to 2 lb, 10.5 oz. Cole's calories were upped again today and JD's food amount was increased as well. Hopefully both of them will continue to gain weight nicely. They are looking different every day. Here are a few pics from yesterday - their 3 week birthday!
JD is resting peacefully;
Cole while he is being weighed - bright lights Mommy!
They both had a pretty good night last night and day today; I hope I'm not jinxing them by saying that. Their nurse from last night gave them both angel pins for their isoletes this morning. I took that as a good sign.
I kangaroo'd with them again today for about an hour. They did great. Cole was weaned down on his canula flow today - he's gone from 4 liters to 2 liters in just two days. He's making progress!
When I left tonight, they had just been weighed. Cole was up about 6 grams, to 1 lb, 14.75 oz. And JD was up about 10 grams, to 2 lb, 10.5 oz. Cole's calories were upped again today and JD's food amount was increased as well. Hopefully both of them will continue to gain weight nicely. They are looking different every day. Here are a few pics from yesterday - their 3 week birthday!
JD is resting peacefully;
Cole while he is being weighed - bright lights Mommy!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Happy 3 Week Birthday Boys!
Well, I can hardly believe it's been 3 weeks since the boys came into this world. On a daily basis, time seems to almost stand still. But looking back, it's hard to believe that 3 weeks has passed. I'm getting nostalgic already ~ they are both starting to grow now; they won't be small forever!
Cole put on TWO OUNCES last night - Wooo hoooo! He had a peaceful night and his meds seem to be working pretty well for him now. Now he just needs to get lots of rest and stop expending every calorie that goes into his little body. Lets hope that he's turned the corner with his weight gain and he's going to start plumping up a little bit each day from here on out.
JD had a tough night last night - I guess he was looking for some attention or something since his brother has had it all the last few days! He now has reflux too so they started him on the same meds as Cole. Once they got him suctioned out and started on the zantac and reglan, he was feeling much better. He is having a blood transfusion today, as we suspected so that will also make him feel much better. They only transfuse 10cc's which is less than an ounce and it's amazing how much it helps them. He's looking a little pale so this will also improve his color a lot. I can't wait to see him this afternoon.
I'm having our house completely overhauled over the next few weeks before the kids come home. Right now, the duct cleaning people are here and I can barely hear myself think - it's so loud! They have vacuums, negative air machines and all kinds of things going on...I shudder to think what they are going to pull out of our duct work. This house is so dusty and full of cat/dog hair (from us and previous owners) that I was too scared to bring our little guys home to this environment with all of the respiratory stuff they have had going on since birth. I bought an air purifier and will get the carpets cleaned once their homecoming is a bit closer. I have always been a clean freak but never to this extreme! It will be healthier for all of us in the long run.
I'll post another update later this afternoon; and will try to post some more updated photos. Until then, happy Tuesday gang.
Cole put on TWO OUNCES last night - Wooo hoooo! He had a peaceful night and his meds seem to be working pretty well for him now. Now he just needs to get lots of rest and stop expending every calorie that goes into his little body. Lets hope that he's turned the corner with his weight gain and he's going to start plumping up a little bit each day from here on out.
JD had a tough night last night - I guess he was looking for some attention or something since his brother has had it all the last few days! He now has reflux too so they started him on the same meds as Cole. Once they got him suctioned out and started on the zantac and reglan, he was feeling much better. He is having a blood transfusion today, as we suspected so that will also make him feel much better. They only transfuse 10cc's which is less than an ounce and it's amazing how much it helps them. He's looking a little pale so this will also improve his color a lot. I can't wait to see him this afternoon.
I'm having our house completely overhauled over the next few weeks before the kids come home. Right now, the duct cleaning people are here and I can barely hear myself think - it's so loud! They have vacuums, negative air machines and all kinds of things going on...I shudder to think what they are going to pull out of our duct work. This house is so dusty and full of cat/dog hair (from us and previous owners) that I was too scared to bring our little guys home to this environment with all of the respiratory stuff they have had going on since birth. I bought an air purifier and will get the carpets cleaned once their homecoming is a bit closer. I have always been a clean freak but never to this extreme! It will be healthier for all of us in the long run.
I'll post another update later this afternoon; and will try to post some more updated photos. Until then, happy Tuesday gang.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Mommy Kangaroo
We got some good news today - all cultures done over the weekend for both boys are NEGATIVE! In retrospect, better safe than sorry, right? The boys were doing very well today. Cole was his old self again and only had a few episodes. JD was the same too - although they are watching his hematocrit level now and he might be getting a transfusion this week. His platelet numbers are high but his hematocrit is low so they are going to do more blood work tomorrow; they are going to test his Vitamin E levels. In the meantime, he's growing like a weed and really has plumped up a bit. I have included a photo from today's visit when we kangaroo'd for almost 2 hours ~ I can hardly stand how cute they are, especially all curled up, face to face. When they first were laid on my chest, they were both awake and just stared at each other for a bit. Then I read them "The little engine that could" and they were out like lights, within minutes.
It was a good day today; hoping and praying that Cole's weight has steadied or increased today. They started him on 2 more calories per feed so that should help too. It's amazing, apparently 2 calories makes a huge difference for these little guys. In fact, sometimes they can't even tolerate the extra calories at first. It's amazing how the smallest changes can affect their young systems. They are spending more time awake these days - and when we come to visit, they respond to our voices and do a lot of looking around. They love to see faces, like all other babies so it's pretty cool seeing them be a bit more observant. Tomorrow is their 3 week birthday! They would be 31 weeks gestation today.
Here are a few photos from today;
Cole is on the left and JD is on the right. As of last night, they were 11 oz apart in weight. Cole better hurry and catch up with his younger brother!
The babies are under the blanket in my "pouch" to stay warm!
It was a good day today; hoping and praying that Cole's weight has steadied or increased today. They started him on 2 more calories per feed so that should help too. It's amazing, apparently 2 calories makes a huge difference for these little guys. In fact, sometimes they can't even tolerate the extra calories at first. It's amazing how the smallest changes can affect their young systems. They are spending more time awake these days - and when we come to visit, they respond to our voices and do a lot of looking around. They love to see faces, like all other babies so it's pretty cool seeing them be a bit more observant. Tomorrow is their 3 week birthday! They would be 31 weeks gestation today.
Here are a few photos from today;
Cole is on the left and JD is on the right. As of last night, they were 11 oz apart in weight. Cole better hurry and catch up with his younger brother!
The babies are under the blanket in my "pouch" to stay warm!
Sunday, September 17, 2006
I think I can, I think I can...
I got to Kangaroo with both boys today and we snuggled for about an hour and a half. Both boys nestled right in and didn't say a peep. No A&B episodes either! I have said this before but I don't know who it is better for when we are together, me or them.
I told them the story of THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD today - and hopefully Cole now has a new mantra - "I think I can". Cole is looking like himself again and feisty as usual; he's had a much better day today and at tonight's visit, he was very bright eyed. That is a good sign. He still lost a bit more weight today but we're remaining hopeful that tomorrow he'll be the same or even gain a few grams.
JD went up 20 more grams tonight - he's right at 2 lb, 8 oz now. He looks so much bigger than Cole right now. We're cheering Cole on to catch up!
Headed to bed now - just wanted to post a quick update. Hopefully we're on the uphill of the rollercoaster again - not the downhill. We should have culture results back tomorrow or Tues so keep your fingers crossed. Thanks for the continued prayers - you guys are truly the best!
I told them the story of THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD today - and hopefully Cole now has a new mantra - "I think I can". Cole is looking like himself again and feisty as usual; he's had a much better day today and at tonight's visit, he was very bright eyed. That is a good sign. He still lost a bit more weight today but we're remaining hopeful that tomorrow he'll be the same or even gain a few grams.
JD went up 20 more grams tonight - he's right at 2 lb, 8 oz now. He looks so much bigger than Cole right now. We're cheering Cole on to catch up!
Headed to bed now - just wanted to post a quick update. Hopefully we're on the uphill of the rollercoaster again - not the downhill. We should have culture results back tomorrow or Tues so keep your fingers crossed. Thanks for the continued prayers - you guys are truly the best!
My little fighter!
I arrived early this morning at the hospital for my morning milk drop (I feel like the milk man), and found the boys to be doing really well. Baby Cole had a better night last night and he seemed to be resting very cozy in his little bed. He woke up when I came in so I snapped this picture of him. He's looking much more like himself today. His A's & B's have continued but he's been pulling himself out of them more now so that is a good thing. The meds that he is on should be kicking in by now so hopefully today will be a much easier day for him. He lost some more weight last night so maybe today he'll have a chance to rest and gain back the few ounces that he had put on.
He's a trooper - I have faith that he's going to pull this out. Just like THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD! More later after my mid-day visit...
Here is my love, Cole, at 31 weeks gestational age, almost 3 weeks birth age;
He's a trooper - I have faith that he's going to pull this out. Just like THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD! More later after my mid-day visit...
Here is my love, Cole, at 31 weeks gestational age, almost 3 weeks birth age;
Saturday, September 16, 2006
I used to love rollercoasters....
But I guess that was before I was old enough to know that there are two kinds of rollercoasters - the real kind that make your stomach drop and make you scream your head off; and then there is the "emotional" rollercoaster. Good grief, this ride is just about long enough for me at this point!
It's been a tough couple of days; the boys are hanging in there but Cole has had a tough few days and that makes for a tough few days for Mommy & Daddy too. His reflux was acting up early in the week so they took him off of the medicine that actually helps his Apnea and Brady incidents (they call these A's & B's for short). So, they thought that the medication used for the A's and B's was making his reflux worse, so they stopped it. Well, not only did it not improve his reflux, it threw him into a tailspin and his A's & B's were increasing in frequency as well. They tell me that this is very normal behavior for preemies but seeing him hold his breath and hearing that monitor ding incessantly is a tad bit nerve wracking. Several times while I was there this week, he had spells that were somewhat severe; so much that the nurses had to come in and pull him out of it. Something about seeing a little 1 lb, 13 oz baby struggling to breath is not easy. They also tell me that he will grow out of it very soon - I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
They also did a chest xray this week and found some fluid around his lungs (very small amount) so they started him on lasix; this dose just goes into his feeding tube and so far, he's started to drop that excess fluid. He was up to 2 lb but lost 30 grams last night so he's back down to 1 lb. 15 oz. This is a good weight loss though - he's not losing muscle or body mass, just fluid. The fluid removal makes it easier for him to breathe so it's a good thing.
So then today, they did some routine blood work on both boys and it came back with some funky results. They are suspecting some sort of infection that both of them are carrying so they started new IV's on each (not a fun thing to watch them do, by the way) and started them on preventative antibiotics, just to be safe. The best thing about the NICU care, in my opinion, is their desire to be so proactive; much better than reactive! Babies can change so quickly so they don't do much waiting around for things to settle down. If they suspect something odd, they start treating it immediately, and get the results later. The culture on the blood should be back in 48-72 hours so we'll see what comes back. Either way, they are already being treated so at least they have a head start if something comes back showing some internal infection. It's always something isn't it?
I've started working in the nursery again - washing clothes, putting things away etc. The cribs were set up this week (and would you believe there was NOT a single swear word uttered by C. as he put them together) so it's looking like a real baby's room now! I must admit, it's been a very emotional experience for me doing this part. I somehow knew it would be. For many reasons. I've waited so long to be able to set up a nursery - the room has just been waiting for babies. But, as thankful as I am that they are safe and doing fairly well at the hospital, the fact remains that they are NOT here with us. It's a strange feeling. It's also been hard to sort through some of the stuff we had already bought because there are some things that we have three of. I knew this part would be hard with regard to Baby Cal - but it's part of the grieving process I suppose. The more cries I have, the more healing that I do along the way. It's going to take some time to finish up but little by little, I'm chipping away at it, through the tears. They are not necessarily sad tears, just wishful tears. Wishful that Cal was still with us - and wishful that JD and Cole were ready to come home.
We're going on 3 weeks now since the boys were born - sometimes it seems like an eternity and sometimes it seems like it's flown by. The routine is getting better - and I'm learning that the rollercoaster is inevitable. As hard as I've tried to stay centered and not get too up or too down, it's impossible not to get rattled when they take a few steps backwards. It's all part of the NICU experience, or so I'm told.
I tried to take some updated pictures of the kids yesterday - but Cole was having such a tough day that I didn't think it was fair to take any of him. He was very out of sorts and wrestless. I have included one of JD though. In the next day or two, I'll post an updated one of Cole. He should be feeling more like himself in the next couple of days.
Thank you for your continued prayers; the next hurdle is getting the culture results back from today's tests - we need them all to come back negative so these boys can get back on track and continue what they do best - and that is, to be feeders & growers! Love to all.
It's been a tough couple of days; the boys are hanging in there but Cole has had a tough few days and that makes for a tough few days for Mommy & Daddy too. His reflux was acting up early in the week so they took him off of the medicine that actually helps his Apnea and Brady incidents (they call these A's & B's for short). So, they thought that the medication used for the A's and B's was making his reflux worse, so they stopped it. Well, not only did it not improve his reflux, it threw him into a tailspin and his A's & B's were increasing in frequency as well. They tell me that this is very normal behavior for preemies but seeing him hold his breath and hearing that monitor ding incessantly is a tad bit nerve wracking. Several times while I was there this week, he had spells that were somewhat severe; so much that the nurses had to come in and pull him out of it. Something about seeing a little 1 lb, 13 oz baby struggling to breath is not easy. They also tell me that he will grow out of it very soon - I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
They also did a chest xray this week and found some fluid around his lungs (very small amount) so they started him on lasix; this dose just goes into his feeding tube and so far, he's started to drop that excess fluid. He was up to 2 lb but lost 30 grams last night so he's back down to 1 lb. 15 oz. This is a good weight loss though - he's not losing muscle or body mass, just fluid. The fluid removal makes it easier for him to breathe so it's a good thing.
So then today, they did some routine blood work on both boys and it came back with some funky results. They are suspecting some sort of infection that both of them are carrying so they started new IV's on each (not a fun thing to watch them do, by the way) and started them on preventative antibiotics, just to be safe. The best thing about the NICU care, in my opinion, is their desire to be so proactive; much better than reactive! Babies can change so quickly so they don't do much waiting around for things to settle down. If they suspect something odd, they start treating it immediately, and get the results later. The culture on the blood should be back in 48-72 hours so we'll see what comes back. Either way, they are already being treated so at least they have a head start if something comes back showing some internal infection. It's always something isn't it?
I've started working in the nursery again - washing clothes, putting things away etc. The cribs were set up this week (and would you believe there was NOT a single swear word uttered by C. as he put them together) so it's looking like a real baby's room now! I must admit, it's been a very emotional experience for me doing this part. I somehow knew it would be. For many reasons. I've waited so long to be able to set up a nursery - the room has just been waiting for babies. But, as thankful as I am that they are safe and doing fairly well at the hospital, the fact remains that they are NOT here with us. It's a strange feeling. It's also been hard to sort through some of the stuff we had already bought because there are some things that we have three of. I knew this part would be hard with regard to Baby Cal - but it's part of the grieving process I suppose. The more cries I have, the more healing that I do along the way. It's going to take some time to finish up but little by little, I'm chipping away at it, through the tears. They are not necessarily sad tears, just wishful tears. Wishful that Cal was still with us - and wishful that JD and Cole were ready to come home.
We're going on 3 weeks now since the boys were born - sometimes it seems like an eternity and sometimes it seems like it's flown by. The routine is getting better - and I'm learning that the rollercoaster is inevitable. As hard as I've tried to stay centered and not get too up or too down, it's impossible not to get rattled when they take a few steps backwards. It's all part of the NICU experience, or so I'm told.
I tried to take some updated pictures of the kids yesterday - but Cole was having such a tough day that I didn't think it was fair to take any of him. He was very out of sorts and wrestless. I have included one of JD though. In the next day or two, I'll post an updated one of Cole. He should be feeling more like himself in the next couple of days.
Thank you for your continued prayers; the next hurdle is getting the culture results back from today's tests - we need them all to come back negative so these boys can get back on track and continue what they do best - and that is, to be feeders & growers! Love to all.
Friday, September 15, 2006
We surpassed birth weight!
It's a big day! JD hit and surpassed his birth weight yesterday - he's growing like a weed now. I guess that is a matter of speaking - only a preemie parent would get excited about 2lb, 6 oz. Cole will probably hit his birth weight today. They are getting more calories now in their feedings which is helping them gain weight.
We had a few changes with Baby Cole yesterday - they did a chest xray on him to find out why he is not able to wean from his Oxygen as fast as JD and they found some adema around his lungs (fluid) so they started him on lasix. This will allow the fluid to leave his body and make breathing easier for him. His reflux is much better and both boys are eating like champs!
I am finally feeling more comfortable with their new placement in the NICU. I think it just took a few days to adjust to the change. Any change throws me for a loop these days. The baby that is in the room with them is much better than she was before and is not a risk for them, as I once suspected.
We haven't taken any photos for a few days (shame on me) so I'll try to get some new ones today. They are just changing so much. I can hardly believe we're coming up on 3 weeks now! Until later...
We had a few changes with Baby Cole yesterday - they did a chest xray on him to find out why he is not able to wean from his Oxygen as fast as JD and they found some adema around his lungs (fluid) so they started him on lasix. This will allow the fluid to leave his body and make breathing easier for him. His reflux is much better and both boys are eating like champs!
I am finally feeling more comfortable with their new placement in the NICU. I think it just took a few days to adjust to the change. Any change throws me for a loop these days. The baby that is in the room with them is much better than she was before and is not a risk for them, as I once suspected.
We haven't taken any photos for a few days (shame on me) so I'll try to get some new ones today. They are just changing so much. I can hardly believe we're coming up on 3 weeks now! Until later...
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Grampy held Cole tonight for the first time!
Grampy got to hold Cole tonight - they both enjoyed it very much. See how happy they both are?
Well, as a follow up to last night's post, the boys were moved to a new location; it's within the NICU unit, just into a side room. They got three new babies today so the reason for the move was to make more space for the sick babies on the main floor area. I'm not sure how keen I am on it yet but will be giving it some more thought over the next couple of days. The problem is that there is a little baby that has been pretty sick in the same little room with them ~ the germ factor is what is making me so nervous; but all of the nurses agree that they are actually better off in the little room than they are out in the open with many other babies. The nurses are so good about washing their hands between babies that I probably need to chill and not worry so much. It gives us a great deal more privacy so hopefully it's going to work out just fine. Time will tell I guess.
JD hit his birth weight today! Yay!! Now he just needs to start packing on the pounds. Cole is almost going to hit the 2lb mark, probably tomorrow, so he's only about an ounce away from his birth weight too. We are so excited that they are starting to grow now!
Well, as a follow up to last night's post, the boys were moved to a new location; it's within the NICU unit, just into a side room. They got three new babies today so the reason for the move was to make more space for the sick babies on the main floor area. I'm not sure how keen I am on it yet but will be giving it some more thought over the next couple of days. The problem is that there is a little baby that has been pretty sick in the same little room with them ~ the germ factor is what is making me so nervous; but all of the nurses agree that they are actually better off in the little room than they are out in the open with many other babies. The nurses are so good about washing their hands between babies that I probably need to chill and not worry so much. It gives us a great deal more privacy so hopefully it's going to work out just fine. Time will tell I guess.
JD hit his birth weight today! Yay!! Now he just needs to start packing on the pounds. Cole is almost going to hit the 2lb mark, probably tomorrow, so he's only about an ounce away from his birth weight too. We are so excited that they are starting to grow now!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
2 Week Birthday!
The boys are still doing really well - they both are starting to gain weight now; JD is only 1 oz. away from his original birth weight and Cole is about 3 oz. away from his birth weight. They have increased their calorie intake with their feedings by using a fortifier in their formula/milk. This should help them start gaining weight now. They are technically "feeder & growers" now.
Cole is still on his nasal canula and is having some apnea episodes still so they are reluctant to give that up at this time. It keeps him comfortable and we would rather him wean slowly than have to be over burdened with his breathing.
Both babies are doing more and more "baby" things each day. It's so much fun to see them grow and develop. Another NICU Mom said most people don't get to see their babies go through this stage of development since they are usually still in utero at this time. How true that is. It's really cool to see them become little people, right before our eyes!
I kangaroo'd both boys today for a while and loved every minute of it. I've been lucky enough to hold them every day for the last week; I'm not sure who it's better for, me or them!
There is talk about moving them to a new location in NICU - which would give us more privacy when we visit, which would be nice. Although neither Chuck or I are fans of having them moved, we'll see what they decide. I expressed my disinterest in them being moved tonight but not sure that the nurses will honor my request to leave them where they are. They are doing so well where they are, that we hate to move them for no good reason. Anyway, it was my first experience with being an advocate for my kids - I don't usually make a stink over much but I found myself being very protective of them tonight. Change throws me for a loop every time ~ especially when it comes to my little guys.
Better get to bed and get some rest. Until tomorrow...
Cole is still on his nasal canula and is having some apnea episodes still so they are reluctant to give that up at this time. It keeps him comfortable and we would rather him wean slowly than have to be over burdened with his breathing.
Both babies are doing more and more "baby" things each day. It's so much fun to see them grow and develop. Another NICU Mom said most people don't get to see their babies go through this stage of development since they are usually still in utero at this time. How true that is. It's really cool to see them become little people, right before our eyes!
I kangaroo'd both boys today for a while and loved every minute of it. I've been lucky enough to hold them every day for the last week; I'm not sure who it's better for, me or them!
There is talk about moving them to a new location in NICU - which would give us more privacy when we visit, which would be nice. Although neither Chuck or I are fans of having them moved, we'll see what they decide. I expressed my disinterest in them being moved tonight but not sure that the nurses will honor my request to leave them where they are. They are doing so well where they are, that we hate to move them for no good reason. Anyway, it was my first experience with being an advocate for my kids - I don't usually make a stink over much but I found myself being very protective of them tonight. Change throws me for a loop every time ~ especially when it comes to my little guys.
Better get to bed and get some rest. Until tomorrow...
Monday, September 11, 2006
JD is having a Happy Day!
Grammy captured this cute picture this morning of JD. Uncle Toby seems to think he's excited for the Redskins game tonight - Daddy would be proud!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Milestones...
Well, JD made another big milestone today; I walked in bright and early this morning to seeing him without any respirator assistance - all gone! He's 100% breathing on his own now. And this is the first time we've ever been able to see his little face without a tube in his nose or mouth! He still has his feeding tube but that is so small that it doesn't pull his face funny like the other tubes.
Cole is shortly behind him. He's having a bit of reflux so until they get that under control, he'll have his nasal canula. He's breathing room air, but it just has some warm oxygen blowing in also to keep him comfortable. Hopefully in a few days, he too will be breathing unassisted.
I just can't believe it. I'm so proud of them - in just 13 days, they have come such a long way. I took some more pictures today - not sure if others can tell how much they have changed but we sure can.
Cole is weighing in at a whopping 1 lb, 13 oz & JD is weighing in at about 2 lb, 2 oz. Over this next week, they should start bulking up a little bit more. They are steadily increasing their feedings and dropping their IV support so that is what will hopefully help them fatten up. It's amazing that two little babies who are barely 2 lb's can function so well on their own. They are truly amazing little guys.
BIG BOY Cole!
BIG BOY JD!
Here's another cute one of Cole:
Cole is shortly behind him. He's having a bit of reflux so until they get that under control, he'll have his nasal canula. He's breathing room air, but it just has some warm oxygen blowing in also to keep him comfortable. Hopefully in a few days, he too will be breathing unassisted.
I just can't believe it. I'm so proud of them - in just 13 days, they have come such a long way. I took some more pictures today - not sure if others can tell how much they have changed but we sure can.
Cole is weighing in at a whopping 1 lb, 13 oz & JD is weighing in at about 2 lb, 2 oz. Over this next week, they should start bulking up a little bit more. They are steadily increasing their feedings and dropping their IV support so that is what will hopefully help them fatten up. It's amazing that two little babies who are barely 2 lb's can function so well on their own. They are truly amazing little guys.
BIG BOY Cole!
BIG BOY JD!
Here's another cute one of Cole:
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Day #12
Just a quick update; all of Cole's tests came out perfect! No reason to worry about an infection in his spinal fluid, which could have been more serious. Both of the boys head scans also showed no signs of hemorrhage or bleeding - another GREAT piece of news. They will have another routine head scan at 30 days of life; Chuck and I both held the babies today - hence the first "family photo" below. We had a great day with them...they are such lovebugs, I can barely stand it. They are starting to act like real babies now - crying, pooping, flailing arms and legs and generally showing some personality. We can't get over how much they have changed in just 12 days. It's hard not to just stay there and stare at them for endless hours.
Thanks for your continued prayers - we are feeling them each and every day as we plug along, one day at a time! Love to all.
Here's our first family photo; it's not Christmas card material but it's a start!
Thanks for your continued prayers - we are feeling them each and every day as we plug along, one day at a time! Love to all.
Here's our first family photo; it's not Christmas card material but it's a start!
Friday, September 08, 2006
The Gift of Life
We had a really cool thing happen today in our family. For starters, both Grandmothers have now held one of the babies, which I know was great for both the babies and the Grandma's. And today, as Grammy (my Mom) was holding Baby Cole, they told us that he might need another blood transfusion since his hematocrit level (red blood cell count) was a bit on the low side again. This would be his third one, and each time, he gets better and better. We're hoping that this will be his last one. With that in mind...
Some of you might know, Mom has O- blood, which is the universal donor type. But she also is missing a certain element in her blood which many other O- people have, therefore she is able to donate blood for preemie babies. I think it's something like only 2% of O- people are able to donate blood for premature infants, therefore they are always looking for donors and blood for preemies is in short supply (those of you with O- blood should go get checked to see if you can donate!). Mom has been doing this for a few years now, never suspecting that she would have grand baby preemies in NICU who might need blood. When we were at the hospital earlier this week, she donated since there were two babies at that time that needed blood immediately (not our babies). Little did we know how perfect that timing would be. She is now a direct donor for Baby Cole. I can barely think of this without crying and feeling overwhelmingly thankful that our baby has received his grandmothers blood. He had his 3rd transfusion yesterday and last night (they do it in two parts - it's only a total of 10cc's of blood) and now he will always have a part of Grammy with him. That is pretty special in my book! Mom, you have given this precious little 29 week old baby the ultimate gift of life. He will be forever thankful, and so will C & I. Something about knowing where that blood came from is so comforting and reassuring.
Cole says "Thanks Grammy!"
That said, when I got to the hospital last night for my evening visit, Cole looked great. He was so pink and vibrant. I held both boys last night for well over an hour together and they snuggled into my chest. For the first time, I got to spend that time alone with them since I went by myself last night. It was really a special hour for me - and I hope for them. It's always so hard to give them back up after that. We have some good chats. I savor those moments so much. For someday, they won't be able to both snuggle together like that - nor will they want to. They will be busy little boys, trying to find trouble.
They both are doing very well and making small milestones every day. They had their first routine head scan yesterday so we're awaiting results on that. They scan their brains routinely when they are so small to look for any hemorrhaging or fluid. Again, something very normal and common for preemies due to all of the tiny blood vessels in their heads. And we still have not heard anything from Cole's culture of his spinal. We are hopeful that both of those major tests come back clean - all fingers crossed that we hear something on those today.
I am driving again - wooo hoooo! I drove myself around a bit yesterday and wow, did that feel liberating! That was my last piece of independence that I was waiting to get back. It felt good; and as I plan my day today, it feels good not to have to rely on others to get me where I want to go when. I'm free!
Thank you for your continued prayers and well wishes. We are making progress each day - and watching these boys grow and become little people is one amazing thing. I never want to forget these days. As stressful as they are at times, it's truly a miracle in the making and not everyone gets to experience such a thing.
Some of you might know, Mom has O- blood, which is the universal donor type. But she also is missing a certain element in her blood which many other O- people have, therefore she is able to donate blood for preemie babies. I think it's something like only 2% of O- people are able to donate blood for premature infants, therefore they are always looking for donors and blood for preemies is in short supply (those of you with O- blood should go get checked to see if you can donate!). Mom has been doing this for a few years now, never suspecting that she would have grand baby preemies in NICU who might need blood. When we were at the hospital earlier this week, she donated since there were two babies at that time that needed blood immediately (not our babies). Little did we know how perfect that timing would be. She is now a direct donor for Baby Cole. I can barely think of this without crying and feeling overwhelmingly thankful that our baby has received his grandmothers blood. He had his 3rd transfusion yesterday and last night (they do it in two parts - it's only a total of 10cc's of blood) and now he will always have a part of Grammy with him. That is pretty special in my book! Mom, you have given this precious little 29 week old baby the ultimate gift of life. He will be forever thankful, and so will C & I. Something about knowing where that blood came from is so comforting and reassuring.
Cole says "Thanks Grammy!"
That said, when I got to the hospital last night for my evening visit, Cole looked great. He was so pink and vibrant. I held both boys last night for well over an hour together and they snuggled into my chest. For the first time, I got to spend that time alone with them since I went by myself last night. It was really a special hour for me - and I hope for them. It's always so hard to give them back up after that. We have some good chats. I savor those moments so much. For someday, they won't be able to both snuggle together like that - nor will they want to. They will be busy little boys, trying to find trouble.
They both are doing very well and making small milestones every day. They had their first routine head scan yesterday so we're awaiting results on that. They scan their brains routinely when they are so small to look for any hemorrhaging or fluid. Again, something very normal and common for preemies due to all of the tiny blood vessels in their heads. And we still have not heard anything from Cole's culture of his spinal. We are hopeful that both of those major tests come back clean - all fingers crossed that we hear something on those today.
I am driving again - wooo hoooo! I drove myself around a bit yesterday and wow, did that feel liberating! That was my last piece of independence that I was waiting to get back. It felt good; and as I plan my day today, it feels good not to have to rely on others to get me where I want to go when. I'm free!
Thank you for your continued prayers and well wishes. We are making progress each day - and watching these boys grow and become little people is one amazing thing. I never want to forget these days. As stressful as they are at times, it's truly a miracle in the making and not everyone gets to experience such a thing.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
The boys are doing well - Day 10 NICU
Well, I haven't had much time to do real updates in between hospital trips, errands, doc appts etc. over the last few days. Mom is healing up well - I'm feeling good physically, just get tired easily. Most of that is from the long term bedrest. There isn't a single muscle in my body any more so it's going to take some more time to get my strength back. It's getting better, slowly but surely.
We just feel so lucky that the boys are doing so well - they have the normal preemie issues going on but nothing too serious right now. Both have sporadic issues with apnea and the bradacardia (forget to breath and drop in heart rates) but that is to be expected with such young babies with immature nervous systems. They are both eating pretty well and taking only breast milk through their feeding tubes which is wonderful. I held Cole for a while yesterday morning and then held JD for a while last night. It feels so good to have them in my arms. The day before when we all were together (holding both boys) I read them a little book. They didn't seem too interested since they were so snuggly but I'm sure they were listening; Cole was awake staring at his brother the entire time when they were both in my arms; JD was not nearly as social and chose to sleep the whole time.
I got a little scared yesterday when one of the nurse practitioners came over and pulled up a chair while I was sitting there. That usually means serious business. She told me that they were doing a procedure on Cole yesterday afternoon to check his spinal fluid to be sure that there is no infection there. He's fighting some sort of infection in his body somewhere and they are trying to locate it. Babies don't localize infection like adults do so sometimes it's hard to find. Well, thinking of a 2lb baby having a spinal just scared the &^%#$% out of me, as you can imagine. She assured me that he would be fine etc. Needless to say, I couldn't be there for it, it would be too hard so his brave Daddy was with him and he did great. Not even a wimper. The preliminary tests came back all negative which is wonderful - now we wait for the culture to come back in 2-3 days. We're keeping our fingers crossed. It's a curable situation and not life threatening or anything so if they find something, he will be on a round of antibiotics for a longer period of time.
The boys should start putting on some weight again soon - as long as they continue to tolerate their feedings, which seem to increase every day, they should start to grow. They lost some of their birth weight so they are down about 4 oz each. JD is up to 15 cc's (30 cc's in an ounce)of milk and Cole is at 9 cc's every 3 hours. Their digestive systems seem to get a little better as we go. Both C & I got dirty diapers from them the other night, which is a good sign! It's amazing trying to change a diaper on a two pound little guy - their little legs flail, just like any other regular size baby. They are just miniature size.
So far we love every nurse that we have had over there - they all are just amazing. They treat these babies like their own and keep them so comfy. What amazing people they are to dedicate themselves so graciously to these little babies trying to make their way in the world.
Thank you for your continued prayers and warm messages. We look forward to getting back in touch with friends and family in the coming weeks as we work out a routine here. C. has gone back to work and I'm still getting carted around by the Grandma's for now. Hoping to start driving this weekend. That's my last little piece of independence that I can get back. I usually go to the hospital in the morning'ish to see the babies, drop their food and help with the 11am cares. Then we go back again in the evening for their 8pm cares. Two visits a day is working well for now - although it's always hard to leave, we all need to keep up on our rest. For once they come home, rest will be an unknown entity, I'm sure! I can't wait for that day!
We just feel so lucky that the boys are doing so well - they have the normal preemie issues going on but nothing too serious right now. Both have sporadic issues with apnea and the bradacardia (forget to breath and drop in heart rates) but that is to be expected with such young babies with immature nervous systems. They are both eating pretty well and taking only breast milk through their feeding tubes which is wonderful. I held Cole for a while yesterday morning and then held JD for a while last night. It feels so good to have them in my arms. The day before when we all were together (holding both boys) I read them a little book. They didn't seem too interested since they were so snuggly but I'm sure they were listening; Cole was awake staring at his brother the entire time when they were both in my arms; JD was not nearly as social and chose to sleep the whole time.
I got a little scared yesterday when one of the nurse practitioners came over and pulled up a chair while I was sitting there. That usually means serious business. She told me that they were doing a procedure on Cole yesterday afternoon to check his spinal fluid to be sure that there is no infection there. He's fighting some sort of infection in his body somewhere and they are trying to locate it. Babies don't localize infection like adults do so sometimes it's hard to find. Well, thinking of a 2lb baby having a spinal just scared the &^%#$% out of me, as you can imagine. She assured me that he would be fine etc. Needless to say, I couldn't be there for it, it would be too hard so his brave Daddy was with him and he did great. Not even a wimper. The preliminary tests came back all negative which is wonderful - now we wait for the culture to come back in 2-3 days. We're keeping our fingers crossed. It's a curable situation and not life threatening or anything so if they find something, he will be on a round of antibiotics for a longer period of time.
The boys should start putting on some weight again soon - as long as they continue to tolerate their feedings, which seem to increase every day, they should start to grow. They lost some of their birth weight so they are down about 4 oz each. JD is up to 15 cc's (30 cc's in an ounce)of milk and Cole is at 9 cc's every 3 hours. Their digestive systems seem to get a little better as we go. Both C & I got dirty diapers from them the other night, which is a good sign! It's amazing trying to change a diaper on a two pound little guy - their little legs flail, just like any other regular size baby. They are just miniature size.
So far we love every nurse that we have had over there - they all are just amazing. They treat these babies like their own and keep them so comfy. What amazing people they are to dedicate themselves so graciously to these little babies trying to make their way in the world.
Thank you for your continued prayers and warm messages. We look forward to getting back in touch with friends and family in the coming weeks as we work out a routine here. C. has gone back to work and I'm still getting carted around by the Grandma's for now. Hoping to start driving this weekend. That's my last little piece of independence that I can get back. I usually go to the hospital in the morning'ish to see the babies, drop their food and help with the 11am cares. Then we go back again in the evening for their 8pm cares. Two visits a day is working well for now - although it's always hard to leave, we all need to keep up on our rest. For once they come home, rest will be an unknown entity, I'm sure! I can't wait for that day!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Reunited on their 1 week birthday!
I'm almost speechless - I can't even explain the feeling of holding these babies in my arms, together for the first time. It was one of the most special moments of my life.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Look Mom, no more tubes!
I don't want to start getting cocky about it but I'm so proud of my boys today - they both were taken off of respirator support and just have the little oxygen things in their noses - called the nasal canula. They are holding their own now - and we'll just continue to keep our fingers crossed that they can keep this up! Their little lungs are developing more and more each day so even if they have to go back on some level of breathing support for a little while, at least we know that they can do it!
They had a very lazy day today - and both were resting very peacefully and comfortably; well, after little Cole got his tube out. He kept trying to pull it out anyway - the little feisty guy that he is! His personality is already shining through.
I got to hold JD for a little while this evening - which was awesome. We're still waiting to hold Cole - maybe tomorrow. I'm so hopeful - I just can't wait to get that little one in my arms.
Here are a few cute pics of them today - they were much more alert than we've seen them; probably because they are resting so much more comfortably. Off to bed - I'm pooped. More tomorrow.
Cole chatting with Mommy;
JD chatting with Daddy;
They had a very lazy day today - and both were resting very peacefully and comfortably; well, after little Cole got his tube out. He kept trying to pull it out anyway - the little feisty guy that he is! His personality is already shining through.
I got to hold JD for a little while this evening - which was awesome. We're still waiting to hold Cole - maybe tomorrow. I'm so hopeful - I just can't wait to get that little one in my arms.
Here are a few cute pics of them today - they were much more alert than we've seen them; probably because they are resting so much more comfortably. Off to bed - I'm pooped. More tomorrow.
Cole chatting with Mommy;
JD chatting with Daddy;
Father & Son
Daddy finally got to hold JD last night - the photos tell the story. We're hoping to have Cole out today and be able to hold him too. The nurse is going to try to get them both out at the same time so we each can hold them together. Our family will finally be united. Doesn't get much better than that! Through the tears, I have never been so grateful as I am today;
And since we didn't get to hold Cole yet, I don't want to leave him out. Here's a cute picture of him snuggling after we weighed and did his cares. He's a lover & has come a long way in the last 5 days! We're so proud of him.
And since we didn't get to hold Cole yet, I don't want to leave him out. Here's a cute picture of him snuggling after we weighed and did his cares. He's a lover & has come a long way in the last 5 days! We're so proud of him.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Lucky Mommy!
As we hoped, the boys had a good night last night and JD was able to come out for some Kangaroo time today - it was wonderful! Both of us were able to help with taking temperatures and changing diapers today too - C. did Cole and I did JD. It's so awesome to be able to touch them and work with them a little bit. I feel like they are so fragile but when you see the nurses handle them, you realize that they won't break. JD cried a bit today which was sad but good to hear - it means his lungs are working well and he's strong. Their little bodies are just so amazing!
The other big news is that Cole came off of the ventilator today! They put him on CPAP, just like his brother and he seems to be holding OK on it for now. He's a little weaker than JD is so they were hopeful that he would be able to hold his own. Time will tell but we can't wait to go see him tonight without that big tube in his little mouth. We have never been able to see his face too well since he's been intubated since birth so it will be great to see him! The nurse said that maybe tomorrow we'll get to hold him - that would be awesome. She wants to try to get them both out at the same time so each of us can hold them together. We're keeping our fingers crossed that he will hold OK through the night and we'll be able to look forward to that in the morning.
Cole's liver function tests came back great from last night so they are reassured that his little organs are working well. There was some concern due to his coloring since he's a bit darker than his brother. I told them it was just that nice dark italian skin! He's still under the blue lights today but hopefully that will change soon too; then he can have his sunglasses off!
Here are a few snaps from today - hoping to get some more tonight once we go back and see him off of the vent. I'll post more as we get them. It's another good day to be thankful for!!! I still can't believe that they are only 5 days old - it seems like it's been weeks since they were born...
Mommy & JD having some bonding time!
Baby Cole relaxing with his arm behind his head - he's just like his Daddy! See C.'s hand in the background?
The other big news is that Cole came off of the ventilator today! They put him on CPAP, just like his brother and he seems to be holding OK on it for now. He's a little weaker than JD is so they were hopeful that he would be able to hold his own. Time will tell but we can't wait to go see him tonight without that big tube in his little mouth. We have never been able to see his face too well since he's been intubated since birth so it will be great to see him! The nurse said that maybe tomorrow we'll get to hold him - that would be awesome. She wants to try to get them both out at the same time so each of us can hold them together. We're keeping our fingers crossed that he will hold OK through the night and we'll be able to look forward to that in the morning.
Cole's liver function tests came back great from last night so they are reassured that his little organs are working well. There was some concern due to his coloring since he's a bit darker than his brother. I told them it was just that nice dark italian skin! He's still under the blue lights today but hopefully that will change soon too; then he can have his sunglasses off!
Here are a few snaps from today - hoping to get some more tonight once we go back and see him off of the vent. I'll post more as we get them. It's another good day to be thankful for!!! I still can't believe that they are only 5 days old - it seems like it's been weeks since they were born...
Mommy & JD having some bonding time!
Baby Cole relaxing with his arm behind his head - he's just like his Daddy! See C.'s hand in the background?
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Update on Cole & JD
Well, our morning visit this morning was great - we just couldn't get to the hospital fast enough! Plus, we had the "goods" (aka-breast milk) stocked up from the night so we needed to get that there for their daily feedings. They are receiving my milk through their OG tube (feeding tube)which goes from their nose to their bellies. JD is tolerating feedings well and is up to about 6cc's of food, every 3 hours. Cole had trouble tolerating today's feeding for some reason (he's on 3cc's, every 3 hours) so they were going to give him something to try to stabilize his belly.
JD has been off of the ventilator for a couple of days now and his breathing had become somewhat labored and fast. In fact, he looked like he was tiring himself out breathing so fast. His blood gas levels came back a bit low all day yesterday so they put him on CPAP which is a step below the ventilator but still assists with his breathing a bit. It is actually forced air through the nose, instead of having a tube down the throat to the lungs. He seems much more content today and relaxed. He opened his eyes a few times when we were there and we talked to him. He definitely recognizes our voices which is so amazing. Cole recognizes me too, and will squeeze my finger occasionally when I talk to him. Their fingers are so amazingly small, it's even hard to describe.
The nurse showed me how to take their temperature today in the armpit and I was able to help change my first diaper for JD. We laughed since that was the first of THOUSANDS of diapers we'll be changing over the next few years! We were just happy that the nurses allow us to participate in things with them when we're there. Both C. and I have had the opportunity to help with their feedings over the last few days and that is wonderful too.
I was told today that maybe tomorrow I'll get to hold JD again ~ they were not comfortable taking him out of his crib today since he was having some trouble keeping his body temperature up. But maybe tomorrow. My arms are aching to hold him again - and Baby Cole too. We're hopeful that he'll be off of the vent in the next week or so and he can come out for some Kangaroo care too.
Here are a few new pics of the boys. We have some great ones that the NICU nurses have snapped for us but they are not digital so unfortunately, I can't post them yet. In a few days, I'll get the scanner hooked back up and get them on line. For now, these will have to do.
Here we are helping with JD's feeding yesterday:
This is Mommy with Cole (you can get an idea of their size):
And Mommy & Daddy with JD:
JD has been off of the ventilator for a couple of days now and his breathing had become somewhat labored and fast. In fact, he looked like he was tiring himself out breathing so fast. His blood gas levels came back a bit low all day yesterday so they put him on CPAP which is a step below the ventilator but still assists with his breathing a bit. It is actually forced air through the nose, instead of having a tube down the throat to the lungs. He seems much more content today and relaxed. He opened his eyes a few times when we were there and we talked to him. He definitely recognizes our voices which is so amazing. Cole recognizes me too, and will squeeze my finger occasionally when I talk to him. Their fingers are so amazingly small, it's even hard to describe.
The nurse showed me how to take their temperature today in the armpit and I was able to help change my first diaper for JD. We laughed since that was the first of THOUSANDS of diapers we'll be changing over the next few years! We were just happy that the nurses allow us to participate in things with them when we're there. Both C. and I have had the opportunity to help with their feedings over the last few days and that is wonderful too.
I was told today that maybe tomorrow I'll get to hold JD again ~ they were not comfortable taking him out of his crib today since he was having some trouble keeping his body temperature up. But maybe tomorrow. My arms are aching to hold him again - and Baby Cole too. We're hopeful that he'll be off of the vent in the next week or so and he can come out for some Kangaroo care too.
Here are a few new pics of the boys. We have some great ones that the NICU nurses have snapped for us but they are not digital so unfortunately, I can't post them yet. In a few days, I'll get the scanner hooked back up and get them on line. For now, these will have to do.
Here we are helping with JD's feeding yesterday:
This is Mommy with Cole (you can get an idea of their size):
And Mommy & Daddy with JD:
Home Sweet Home
Yesterday (Friday, 9.1.06) was my homecoming, after almost 7 weeks in the hospital. We were supposed to be discharged today, but my doctor offered up an early "going home" and I couldn't resist. I happily accepted and began packing - then I suddenly realized that this would mean leaving my boys behind, at the hospital. It was bittersweet, that is for sure. We got all packed up and went down for a long visit with the boys at the NICU. It was a good visit - they are both doing very well. But then it came time to leave and I just couldn't get my feet moving away from their cribs. "When you have a baby, you're supposed to take it home with you I thought. This is just too hard." After some reassuring words from their nurse, and lots of tears, we began to mosey back to our old room 215 to get officially discharged.
Over the weeks there at the hospital, we had made the room mine. We had pictures and cards, lots of snacks, my closet with clothes in it, beautiful flowers, which had arrived after the boys came, and many other personal things that made Room 215 as close to home as it could be. When we returned to the room around 6:30 last night, all of that had been packed up and as Chuck went for one last load to the car, I was left there for a few minutes alone. It just wasn't the same without everything there. And this is my chance to thank so many of you for sending us cards, encouragement, well wishes, prayers, flowers, food goodies and the many other things ~ you helped me on my journey and made it easier to bear. Without those things, I would never have felt so at home there. I can never thank you all enough for that. Each day I struggled with guilt knowing that I could not possibly return all of the emails and blog messages that were sent daily. I hope that you know how much they meant to me and how they kept me going each and every day.
As the nurse wheeled me out of the 2nd floor, we passed by the nurses station where there were a few of my nurses; it was so hard to say goodbye, but I know with my frequent trips back to NICU, I'll be able to see them often. I made friends with some of my nurses - that is so rare. You guys are the BEST and if it had not been for you, I would have lost it within days of being there. You guys kept me going all day long! I'll never forget your friendship, compassion and genuine concern for Chuck and I, our babies and our family. You truly are special people.
We finally got loaded up (in the midst of Tropical Storm Ernesto, by the way) and started heading home. The rain felt so good on my face when I walked out. The daylight was so welcoming. The car and my surroundings were changing again and it was a feeling I'll always remember. The day had come when I could leave the hospital. Something about not knowing "when" that day would come, is hard. We got stuck in lots of traffic and for the first time, I didn't care a bit. I was headed home.
By the time we got my prescriptions filled and actually got in the door, I was exhausted; but nonetheless, so relieved and happy to be here. Sleeping in my own bed and using my own shower were the two things I appreciated most. And seeing my kitties was awesome too. Gus has been attached to my hip ALL DAY.
Needless to say, as hard as it was to leave JD & Cole, I'm happy to be here. They are only a few minutes away - and I can visit anytime. So for now, I'm trying to heal and recover as best that I can, so I can be there for them in the coming weeks. A tired, no good Mommy is not good for her kids. There's so much to do here at home to get things ready, but nothing as important as watching those babies grow and helping them along. I'm happy to be home - and I'll do my best not to ever take "home" for granted again. As my Grammy would say, "home again, home again, jiggity jig".
Over the weeks there at the hospital, we had made the room mine. We had pictures and cards, lots of snacks, my closet with clothes in it, beautiful flowers, which had arrived after the boys came, and many other personal things that made Room 215 as close to home as it could be. When we returned to the room around 6:30 last night, all of that had been packed up and as Chuck went for one last load to the car, I was left there for a few minutes alone. It just wasn't the same without everything there. And this is my chance to thank so many of you for sending us cards, encouragement, well wishes, prayers, flowers, food goodies and the many other things ~ you helped me on my journey and made it easier to bear. Without those things, I would never have felt so at home there. I can never thank you all enough for that. Each day I struggled with guilt knowing that I could not possibly return all of the emails and blog messages that were sent daily. I hope that you know how much they meant to me and how they kept me going each and every day.
As the nurse wheeled me out of the 2nd floor, we passed by the nurses station where there were a few of my nurses; it was so hard to say goodbye, but I know with my frequent trips back to NICU, I'll be able to see them often. I made friends with some of my nurses - that is so rare. You guys are the BEST and if it had not been for you, I would have lost it within days of being there. You guys kept me going all day long! I'll never forget your friendship, compassion and genuine concern for Chuck and I, our babies and our family. You truly are special people.
We finally got loaded up (in the midst of Tropical Storm Ernesto, by the way) and started heading home. The rain felt so good on my face when I walked out. The daylight was so welcoming. The car and my surroundings were changing again and it was a feeling I'll always remember. The day had come when I could leave the hospital. Something about not knowing "when" that day would come, is hard. We got stuck in lots of traffic and for the first time, I didn't care a bit. I was headed home.
By the time we got my prescriptions filled and actually got in the door, I was exhausted; but nonetheless, so relieved and happy to be here. Sleeping in my own bed and using my own shower were the two things I appreciated most. And seeing my kitties was awesome too. Gus has been attached to my hip ALL DAY.
Needless to say, as hard as it was to leave JD & Cole, I'm happy to be here. They are only a few minutes away - and I can visit anytime. So for now, I'm trying to heal and recover as best that I can, so I can be there for them in the coming weeks. A tired, no good Mommy is not good for her kids. There's so much to do here at home to get things ready, but nothing as important as watching those babies grow and helping them along. I'm happy to be home - and I'll do my best not to ever take "home" for granted again. As my Grammy would say, "home again, home again, jiggity jig".
Little Angels
One of my favorite nurses (you know who you are!) sent this poem to me the day after my boys were born. It was such a beautiful poem, I need to share it since Baby Cal is our little Angel. I can't read it without sobbing, but they are healing tears at the same time. If any of you have lost children, this one's for you too. They are safe in Heaven.
Little Angels
When God calls little children
To dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question
The wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with
The death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world
Seem so wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling
The aged to his fold.
So he picks a rosebud
Before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
And so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven
More beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult
Still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows
Will always be “Goodbye.”
So when a little child departs,
We who are left behind
Must realize God loves children.
Angels are hard to find.
Little Angels
When God calls little children
To dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question
The wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with
The death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world
Seem so wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling
The aged to his fold.
So he picks a rosebud
Before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
And so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven
More beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult
Still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows
Will always be “Goodbye.”
So when a little child departs,
We who are left behind
Must realize God loves children.
Angels are hard to find.
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