Here comes the stress....

Oh boy, I'm starting to feel overwhelmed for some reason today. How does this happen so fast? I'm reeling with the things I have to do to get prepared for this small army that is still 7 months away - well, more like 5-6 I guess...wait, how did we get this far already? I'm nearing the end of my first trimester already? WOW. In theory, that seems like plenty of time, doesn't it? But what if I go out on bedrest soon? How will I ever get work situated?

I need to get busy. Time to start making lists and taking action. I've been thinking about all of this for 4 weeks now - and god willing, it appears that these three little guys are really coming so it's for real....gotta move and get shit done!

Work - hmmm, need to prepare a work manual for "others" who will be taking over my duties. Need to get my home office prepared. Need to make sure I'm covered here and this work from home thing will work, even on bedrest. Need to discuss getting a laptop I guess. Probably should scan some of my workers comp files so I can access that info on the computer. Also should scan the boiler plate contracts I have piled up to make sure I can access those too. Boy, I have some work ahead of me.

Home - oh boy, now here 's a long list.
Get nursery closet done - should have done it last spring with the rest but my superstition got in the way yet again; Get painter in to give estimate - wallpaper down, trim painted and walls repainted; Find cribs & furniture; guess those are the big things. The rest will come later.

Doesn't seem like that much now that it's on paper actually ~ hmmm. Feel a little better now. Time just passes so darn fast that before I know it, I'll be behind the 8 ball...and lord knows I hate when that happens. I'm too organized for my own good sometimes.

Top of the list - need some clothes that fit - pants are getting tight! Only another week or two in my old pants I think. Sounds like a shopping spree is on the horizon...

Another sneak peek!

Well, here we are at 10w1d and I got to see my little guys again today. It was a quick one but nonetheless, they were moving around and their little heartbeats were flickering away. Thank goodness because I've been bleeding all day - does this freaking out ever end? I swear ~ it's always something I guess. I was an absolute wreck this a.m. for my first OB appt with Dr. H. I was ever so thankful that I had an appt today though - if there was a good day for the bleeding to happen, today was the day. Otherwise, I would be a total mess of nerves.

Dr. H is AWESOME! I can't believe all of the times we spent laughing at him over the last few years when he would drag his kayak into the pool at Horn Point and practice...he would always get stuck upside down and we would try to hide our laughter. Who would have guessed that he would be my doctor? BUT I LOVE HIM! He's got a great sense of humor - he made lots of jokes and tried to keep me at ease. He must have sensed my nerves...

So, it sounds like his goal for me is 37 weeks - and I'll do my damnedest to get there! No more exercise after 20 weeks, no more work after 26-28 weeks; and probable bedrest by 30'ish weeks. I've got my work cut out for me.

Here's the other thing - I asked about my diet and weight gain. He thinks I'll gain around 40'ish pounds. Phew - not that I'm worried about my weight, but that book I read said that I should gain 60-70 pounds - holy crap. That's almost double my weight! He said to continue on my healthy diet and as long as I'm eating a starch sufficient diet and the babies are growing and I'm not losing weight, I'm in good shape. That's a load off...

Now, we need to decide whether we should go for the nuchal translucency test next week. Dr. H made me think. What if they do the test and come back with some high odds for downs? My odds at 36 are 1/300 - so for 3, maybe that means 1/100? I forgot to ask that today. But, if they give us some high odds, will we be willing to go for more testing - like the CVS or amnio? If not, there is no sense in doing the nuchal. I think C. & I need to do some more talking ~ before Tuesday. I'm leaning toward going for the test ~ I think I want to know if there is a possible problem. We'll see what C. thinks...

In the meantime, I'm just relieved that they are still growing strong for today. What am I going to do when these u/s's get to be 4 weeks apart? I'm going to have to re-learn patience!

A Pair & a Spare

As I was doing some research on line (shame on me), I came across some info on Trips. I was looking to see how our configuration compared to most other Trips. Low and behold, it's the most common kind - they called it "a pair and a spare". Doesn't this sound so funny? Kinda cracked me up. Here's what it said....

Mixed higher order multiples can often be a combination of identical and fraternal. The most common type of spontaneously conceived triplets are "a pair and a spare", two identical and one fraternal.Two eggs would be released by the mother and fertilized, and only one would split to form identical twins.

Even though they are IVF babies and not spotaneously conceived (wouldn't that be nice?), I guess for once we have some sort of "normal" statistic that applies to us - we always seem to be in that 1%-2% category. For some reason, it feels good to feel normal....if you can call having triplets normal - aye...

Our Team is Expanding....

I had to chuckle this morning as C. was lying in bed, talking to Gus. He was telling him that he wasn't being a team player (the cat was irritated that he was being disturbed and therefore was biting and growling at C.). He then said, you're not being a team player Gus! And with that, he began to describe how our "team" was expanding soon and the roster would be growing by a few more members. Team Licameli would be getting larger soon and he needed to work on being a better team player.

Isn't it funny how men rationalize things? I should have known C. would find some way to make an analogy between this upcoming, life altering event we're about to embark on and a sports team. Gotta love it....

It's a Family Affair - for now...

Well, all of our immediate family members know the news now. We've told all of the parents and siblings. And everyone has been wonderfully supportive and very excited. I feel so lucky. The support we have is amazing - I can't even imagine people who don't have family to share their lives with. What would we do without all of our immediate family? What a blessing...

I know C. is still tentative about telling people ~ slowly but surely seems to be the best way for us I guess. For now, only family knows (and some of my IF girls, who are like family). And maybe in another week or so we'll tell some select friends. Superstition is a crazy thing - and C. is the king of superstition! It's time to start working on trying to get over that concept and get used to the idea that this belly of mine isn't going to be able to hide these three little guys for too much longer ~ telling people is inevitable. But I'm scared to tell. First, I don't want to make a big stink about this - over the years, I've gone from an attention loving monger to one that would rather disappear in the background. Although this is the biggest news of my life and the most exciting time, I would be fine if nobody made a big deal about it. Secondly, I still have a part of me that thinks that if I tell, something bad will happen. Silly, but true. Working on that.

I think I'll tell a few friends and let the news spread on it's own. It won't take long I don't suppose - there is quite a grapevine, a rapidly moving one at that. Afterall, people must be wondering at this point why we haven't had kids yet. Thank goodness there are not many who have had the gall to ask the question to our face. I know we'll get great support from our friends ~ we have some wonderful friends, that is for sure.

Maybe next week we'll get some more guts. Until then, we'll continue to enjoy the secret a little longer.

Once an IF'er, Always an IF'er

Infertility changes your life. I always knew that ~ and actually, looking back on all that we have been through, I would not change a thing about the last few years. We have learned so much about life, our marriage, ourselves, friends and family and life in general. Life has been put into a different perspective. BUT, it's amazing how that "feeling" comes back so easily when you hear news of someone having a baby or getting pregnant so easily. Even though I'm pregnant now (and god willing, will have a baby (or 3) in several months), it still hurts down deep in an indescribable way. I wonder if that pain will ever go away? Two things are happening now that bring this to light.

One is that two friends have recently experienced a miscarriage at 8 & 12 weeks and had to have D&C's earlier this week; and another friend is on her way to the hospital as we speak to be induced to have Baby #2. How ironic. My heart hurts for all of them. Only those that have been down this road understand this. And it's impossible to even put into words. I tried to explain this to my friend who is having the baby today and she didn't understand. And she admitted that she didn't understand, thank goodness. I would rather have someone try to understand and admit that they don't, than act like they do and act righteous about it.

Although I could not be happier to meet this new little baby that is on it's way into the world, it will not be an easy visit. I'm ecstatic for our friends, they deserve this as much as anyone else - and will do my best to share in the excitement of their new little treasure. Perhaps the anxiety has to do with the fact that for so many months, the preparation for these visits has been so hard. To be "up" when you're really not, is no easy task. And God knows that C. and I have done it more than our fair share of times. Why can't I get over that now since I have my own little miracles on board? Well, I think the answer to that is that it is now ingrained in my being forever. Blessings come to many people - and nobody is more or less deserving than any other of the miracle of life. But I do believe that there are those that have a greater appreciation for some things due to their life experiences. Enough said.

It will be a long day waiting for the baby to come...but it will be yet another of God's miracles to be amazed by. Praying for a happy & healthy delivery.

9 Weeks Already?

I've always wanted to journal this crazy journey of ours ~ and have done so a little bit along the way but only in the privacy of my own diary. After three years of one heck of a rocky road, we finally have some news that I might feel like we can call "real". I guess it's time to do some real journaling to commemorate the occasion. Afterall, we couldn't be more excited and feel any luckier, having just heard THREE strong heartbeats of our little angels a few days ago. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes - it was the most wonderful sound I have ever heard and one that I will never ever forget.

At this writing, I am 9 weeks and 2 days pregnant - with three little beans. There are two identical twins and one singleton - I guess that means that they are both identical and fraternal then ~ what a concept! So far, I feel awesome! Very limited morning sickness and generally not too much more tired than normal. I'm an early to bed kinda girl anyway so not much has changed. Chuck would contend that my snoring has become worse over the last few weeks - but I beg to differ on that point. Nonetheless, sleep is a precious commodity and I look most forward to going to bed each night.

It was sad to leave my old home at Shady Grove Fertility. The day they discharged me (last Monday at 8 weeks) to an OB, I was really caught off guard. I was not prepared to leave my comfort zone. These guys were like family to me! The doctors and nurses are like old friends. They took such good care of me for 16 months. Lord knows we spent plenty of time and money there - yet I owe them so much. I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what to do for them - thank you notes and cookies at the very least. I'll go back to visit next week ~ I have to drop my sharps container full of old needles off anyway. That's a good excuse to drop in.

We saw Dr. P on Monday - he's perinatologist #1. He looked at the babies and gave his assessment on their positioning, size and overall health at this point. Although early yet, he believes that they all are looking good and situated fairly well in their little sacs. Their heartbeats were all in the 180 range, and they are all within one day of each other growth wise. We discussed the elevated risk of the identical ~ due to their sharing of the chorionic sac, they will be watched extra closely. But in an identical twin scenario, they are looking like most others do.

I'll be seeing a new OB on Tuesday, next week; Dr. H. My OB bailed on my insurance so we're being forced to switch. As Mom quickly said, it must be a blessing in disguise; not many docs are equipped or experienced with trips, so we feel like we will be in great hands. I have a zillion questions and really am looking forward to meeting with him to get some answers on things. I've tried reading a bit but the books I have scare the hell out of me so I stopped reading for now. Understanding that we will be very high risk (due to age and triplets), I would rather go on the advice of my doctors than read too much. You just never know how accurate things you read are.

I went to my acupuncturist tonight - she's so amazing. It was so relaxing and such a good way to get all of the cobwebs out ~ I've been seeing her at least weekly since early January and it's time to back off to once a month. She usually only likes to see her pg patients once a month or so. I will definitely go into withdraw ~ but it will certainly be easier on the wallet! Amazingly enough, she claims that she can get a good idea of the sex of the baby by my pulse. When I asked her tonight, at first she didn't think she would get a good read since there are three. But she definitely had a strong sense of the sex - I'll hold off on what she said for now....

I'm getting spoiled by my weekly sonograms ~ there's nothing like seeing those little miracles moving around in there. I can barely wait until Tuesday to catch another look! I don't know what I'll do when they become fewer and further between. Once I get a little further along, I assume that they will be checking every couple weeks though. We hope!