Cole's first "FIRST"

I knew that there was a reason that Cole was putting EVERYTHING in sight into his mouth including my fingers, his toes, all toys, anything COTTON that came near his mouth and he even managed to get a diaper in there at one point (a clean one, of course).

COLE CUT HIS FIRST TOOTH! And better yet, he did it before JD! Now, not that I compare them all of the time (I try my best NOT to do that) but it sure is nice to see my little underdog do something first! JD always has made the milestones first since he was bigger and a bit healthier at birth. Our little late bloomer is leading the charge with his choppers...

We had the boys 9 month well visit today and they are right on track. JD weighed in at 18 pounds, 12 oz (I thought he hit 20 and was a bit disappointed that his gut looks bigger than it really is) and Cole was 16 pounds, 5 oz. JD is 27" long and Cole is 26" long. Their heads are still on the large side so we have a while longer before they grow into them I guess. We're still trying to figure out where the big heads came from - Chuck and I have absurdly SMALL heads. In fact, we can both wear kids hats - sad but true. In any case, at least our kids won't be tagged with having to wear childrens hats and sunglasses for the rest of their lives like their parents.

Cole is rolling around now like JD - doing his best to hold on for dear life to his toys when JD starts rolling his direction. And frankly, Cole braces himself pretty well when JD starts coming since he'll usually steam roller right over him to get whatever is on the other side. That is, after somehow grabbing all of the toys along the way to take with him. He's really very entertaining to watch.

JD gets frustrated very easily (someone recently mentioned that was much like his beloved Uncle T?) when he can't get to what he wants - we're working with him to help him learn how to use his legs to propel him forward instead of crabbing backwards into every wall and permanent fixture before freaking out that he's stuck. He still loves his jumper and is slowly eating us out of house and home. He loves ALL baby food and most recently has found the new fondness that all babies have with cheerios. He's the entertainer of the family for sure - just a good natured fun little dude. This picture gives a little glimpse of what we're in for. T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

Cole is smiling 99.9% of the time these days - as long as I keep him pumped with tylenol to keep those teeth numb. No really, he is a happy boy and just loves attention. He also loves to sleep and has become our champion sleeper. He's still more of a fan of his bottle than he is baby food - but we're working on that. His reflux has left him with some feeding difficulties so we're going to have an Occupational Therapist come out and take a look. He's getting better at it every day but it's a slow process. If this is the worst of our issues after having a 2lb preemie, I'm ok with that. I know that someday he will grow up and eat real food so not to worry that he's a bit slower on the food plan. He too enjoys the jumper but he's not nearly as insane in it as his brother. His personality is certainly more laid back and he is always observing - very intently. He loves nothing more than to watch and listen to whatever is going on around him. He studies things that he holds very closely and often times watches his own hands with a fascinated look on his face. He's still as patient as a saint - and rarely complains about too much. Here he is with his new "taggies" from his Great Aunt Kathy!

That's about it for updates...we're in disbelief that it's been 9 months already since the kids came into this world...won't be long now and I'll be posting pictures of their 1 year birthday. Time flies when you're having fun!

9 Month Birthday!

(6 months adjusted age)

We have our 9 month well baby check up later this week so I'll give the latest stats and updates after that. Here are a few pictures I took of the boys this morning as they were rough housing around a bit - they love to play with each other now. It's so cool to watch them interact! They recognize each other and smile when they see each other in the morning. We can only hope that they will love each other that much as they get older...

Happy 9 months boys!

Nic Sparks Fans?

For any of you out there who are Nicholas Sparks fans, just finished his latest, "Dear John" and I highly recommend it! My rockstar husband took the kids for the day today so I had a Mommy day...I actually finished a book at the pool and got a short nap - ahhhh, the small things!

Pool Daze...

Well, the pool days aren't like they used to be! I packed a book yesterday in MY pool bag. What was I thinking? We are so fortunate to be able to use Grammy & Grampy's pool anytime we want so for the first time ever, we ventured over to the pool yesterday, just Mommy & the boys. There is no less gear than packing for the beach, or any other excursion so it took multiple car loads to get everything loaded & unloaded. AND WELL WORTH IT! We had a great day! We comendeered one full corner of the pool for all of our stuff.

We even had another set of twins come too - the Brown Girls (one of my best college girlfriends) were here from Philly so they joined the fun. I'm sad I don't have more pictures but it was logistically impossible, as you can imagine. We were lucky to get the few that we did. JD's checkin out which one he likes best...future girlfriends?

It's really amazing what people say to you when they are pondering whether your kids are twins or not as they walk on by. Yesterday, both sets of twins were like circus side shows. They loved all of the attention.

Both "monkey boy" and "chick magnet" gave out lots of smiles!

Hope you all are enjoying the weekend as much as we are!!!

Bath time

Bath time is really turning into a fun part of the day...arms and legs everywhere! And lots of smiles.

Cole wonders "Is my belly really that big?"

Organized chaos...

Well, sort of organized, but definitely chaos...11 kids and 5 Moms...all kids under 1 year...and only 2 girl babies! The boys will be fighting over them in the coming years!


We had a MOMs (Moms of Multiples) playdate this weekend - what a hoot! There was one set of triplets and 4 sets of twins. The kids had a blast - and what a great day for it. The weather cooperated for once on Memorial Day (historically it ALWAYS rains on Mem Day weekend). There is definitely a different dynamic in raising multiples so it's great to have the input from other Moms in your shoes and who have faced the same dilemmas - and solved them, or not! Thanks for a great afternoon girls!


Our buddies Max & Keegan (31 weekers)

The Julian Trips - Kyle, Mackenzie and Brady

JD sharing his new toy with buddy Keegan

Cole & JD enjoy a quick swim to cool off...

Baptism

What a wonderful day we had on Sunday. The boys were Christened. We were surrounded by our loving family on a beautiful day! Here are a few snaps from the day...We are so blessed!

Here are a few snaps from yesterday. They seem to be changing by the day!

JD loves to be on his belly now - he's crab walking backwards on his back but no forward movement yet. He usually rolls to whatever he needs. The baby gates are next on the agenda!

Cole seems very content on his back, although he rolls to get toys that he wants. He's such a laid back little character. That smile still melts my heart every time!

Lessons in Motherhood

Spoken from the heart of a "seasoned" Mom. This is awesome. One of the better email's I've received as of late. You'll enjoy this.

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves.

Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past. Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton, Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations taught me, was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2. When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow. I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the "Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame." The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, What did you get wrong? (She insisted I include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs.

There is one picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be.

The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense; matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity.

That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

Article

As promised, they printed the NICU article yesterday in the Baltimore Sun newspaper. It was a good article I thought. Click on Baltimore Sun above. We were on a wild goose chase for the actual copies of the paper but managed to find some later in the day.

The boys look so bald in the photo! The photo is shown to the right of the article in the "photo gallery". Just click on that link and you can see the picture they included. It was the one I was hoping for - both of the boys with their very first nurse and the hero nurse practitioner, Lori.

We had a VERY special Mothers Day. It was one that will always be engrained in my heart and in my head. We celebrated Baby Cal yesterday by spreading his ashes with his Grandpa Joe. It was a beautiful day and the perfect time to honor his short little life. Although extremely sad at times, we picked the perfect place to leave him. JD & Cole were in good spirits and seemed to know that we were in a sacred place when we arrived at the grave side. A day we will never ever forget.

I hope everyone else enjoyed their special day too!

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to all of my favorite Mom's out there.
And not the least of which is my own Mom, who means the world to me.

Mom, you are one of a kind. I hope that I can be as much of a Mother to my children as you have been to me. Our relationship is such a treasure to me and I will be forever grateful to God for giving me the best Mother ever. You are my best friend, confidant, listener, protector & my best advice giver. I can lean on you anytime and you are always there. Thank you will never be enough - just know what a special person you are to me.

My children are so lucky to have you as their Grandmother - your love overflows for them; they are so fortunate to have you in their lives and there is nothing more special than watching your bond with them grow over time. They love you as much as I do and you are one very special Grammy, that is for sure!

I love you Mom!

Annual Letters

Thought this was worth sharing. In my spring cleaning frenzy, I found this buried deep in my “safe place” drawer. I put this away many years ago for the day when I had kids. I love this idea…

“Shortly after my daughter was born, I started a loving tradition that I know others (with whom I have subsequently shared this special plan) have also started. I tell you the idea here both to open your heart with the warmth of my story and also to encourage you to start this tradition within your own family.

Every year, on her birthday, I write an Annual Letter to my daughter. I fill it with funny anecdotes that happened to her that year, hardships or joys, issues that are important in my life or hers, world events, my predictions for the future, miscellaneous thoughts etc. I add to the letter photographs, presents, report cards and many other types of mementos that would certainly have disappeared as the years passed…I keep a folder in my desk drawer in which all year long, I place things that I want to include in the envelope containing her next annual letter. As her birthday approaches, I take out that folder and find it overflowing with ideas, thoughts, poems, cards, treasures, stories, incidents and memories of all sorts – many of which I had already forgotten – and which I then eagerly transcribe into that years annual letter.

Once the letter is written and all of the treasures are inserted into the envelope, I seal it. The envelope always reads “annual letter for XXX from her Daddy on the occasion of her nth birthday – to be opened when she is 21 years old”.

The tradition of writing her annual letters is now one of my most sacred duties as a Dad.

Little Gabe

Please click on the link below and send out a prayer for this little guy. Through my crazy world of blogs (a whole other post entirely), I came across him and he needs our prayers. He's having heart surgery on May 15.



http://gabrielsheart.blogspot.com/2007/05/finding-my-faith.html

Alpha Moms

Sometimes I feel like I live under a rock with regard to modern day news and concepts. This week, one of my great girlfriends sent over an article from the USA Today about Alpha Moms vs. Slacker Moms.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2007-05-08-alpha-beta-moms_N.htm

For whatever reason, this was the first time I heard of the term Alpha Mom and actually got an explanation as to what it was. Immediately, I became intrigued and have been trying to figure out what I am, since. My first instinct upon reading the article was to think, “gosh, I REALLY hope I’m NOT an Alpha Mom”. After my more extensive research, it appears that I fall somewhere in the middle of alpha and slacker. Be that as it may, I find it so interesting that this concept is such a buzz now. Some people feel that an Alpha Mom is a goal to achieve, others feel it is a curse.

If you look at what “they” (and who is “they”?) say are the main characteristics of Alpha Mom’s, my checklist is about half checked.

-High Fashion – hardly
-High Tech – eh, sorta I carry a cell phone (which is ALWAYS being used according to my husband) and a Palm Pilot (no Blackberry or Treo)
-Only buy the BEST products (aka, strollers etc.) – not really, I’m very cost conscious with two babies
-Trend setter – hardly
-Spend considerable time on the internet – CHECK
-Multi-tasker – CHECK
-Work inside and outside of the home – CHECK
-Keep a Blog – CHECK
-Type A – CHECK
-Try to do it ALL – CHECK

OK, so now what? Whether I am or am not an Alpha Mom, I’ve suddenly been forced to look at the idea – and analyze a bit whether I’m trying to do too much or whether I’m in the right place for now. My initial conclusions are: I really like my life balance for now. The one thing I miss terribly is time with my husband – but we’re doing the best we can with that and I know that down that road, that will get better. I will say however that it’s become extremely apparent to me why time is passing so quickly – there is not a moment to spare during my days. This is true of all Mom’s though – whether they are stay at home Moms or career Moms. You use the time that you have and try to cram as much in as you can!

I’m really glad to see that the debate is not focused on stay at home vs. career Moms any more. I never liked that debate. It’s not a fair comparison and I do think that too many people had too many opinions on that issue. People choose what is best for their family for a multitude of reasons and it’s unfair of others to judge those decisions. As the article says, this latest skirmish is about personal parenting styles. That said, back to A-Mom thing.

In my “research” to learn more about the A-Mom concept, I came across some very interesting points. I thought they were worth posting – just to make us think.

This was the best one, IMO. “There’s an illusion that you can control who your child will become if you do all the right things, but that’s a problematic illusion because parenting is about discovering who your child is and fostering their growth and development as an individual”. I love that reminder. It is so easy to get caught up in what other people are doing with their children or what their children are doing. Random people are always asking me what my kids are “doing now”. It doesn’t matter what others are doing – focus on your own children, their needs & wants, and that is the most important thing.

“Our children are people – not projects. Motherhood is not a contest”. Love that one too.

For those who are career Moms and think they might be Alpha Mom’s, here’s a good quote: “it’s hard to turn off that switch if you have been extremely competent at being super-successful. Here you are confronted with this baby(ies), and the road map is less clear”.

Upon the advice of my girlfriend who originally sent the article, I purchased the book “I was a Really Good Mom before I had Kids”. I can’t wait to read it.

This is one of those concepts in life (A-Mom) that I think people might be spending too much time analyzing. It’s all about media hype and they have taken this to the nth degree, yet again. The most important thing is to enjoy your life balance and savor every moment. Everyone’s needs are different so whatever that may be for someone, so be it. I’m glad that I have given this concept some thought – although I never determined what I really am, I’ve been reminded of what is important and that is all that matters. As long as we're enjoying the ride, it's all good!

Our old Stomping Ground...

We had our first return visit to NICU today with the boys to see our old nurses, docs and friends. I received a call earlier this week that the Baltimore Sun wanted to do a story on Mothers Day and the NICU staff had suggested that they talk to us. After talking to the PR lady at the hospital, we decided to go ahead and do it.

All the way there this morning I told the boys where we were going and how amazing these people were to them in their early months and to us as a family. Obviously they were not understanding any of this but just saying it out loud made me realize AGAIN how thankful I am for modern medicine and such caring compassionate people. Someday maybe they will understand that if it weren't for the NICU people, they might not be here today.

So, the first sign that I spent WAAAAYYYYYY too much time at the hospital is that when we pulled up at the valet in front, all of the valet guys remembered me and asked immediately about the babies. They were happy to see them and were really cute about remembering. I even ran into Dr. A (or Pablo as my Dad calls him) as we were unloading. He was one of my docs through the pregnancy and usually had the best sense of humor when he came in during patient rounds. Kinda fun to see him too since he hasn't seen me upright, ever. As we made our way in the front door of the hospital, I immediately got butterflies in my tummy and the urge to pee - that nervous feeling. It was so strange being there again.

Once we got into the NICU unit, the nurses starting flooding around the kids. It was awesome. And they both had such cute little smiles – it was like they somehow knew where they were and how special all of these people surrounding them were. The girls immediately pulled both boys out of the stroller and passed them around the whole time we were there. JD even spit up on one of them, for old time sake-twice; thats my boy.

While they were passing the kids around, the reporter from the paper was peppering me with questions about the kids and about our NICU experience. It was the first time that I have been asked anything about that experience and it immediately sent me into a bit of an emotional imbalance. One second I was tearing up and the next, we were laughing. Talking about those days certainly reminded me how fragile our situation was back then and how far we have come. She asked me what it was like when I first saw them after they were born; and what I would be thinking as I changed their diaper through the holes in the isolate. Many times, I didn’t have an answer for her. I couldn’t put into words what I was thinking during those times other than “I was happy that they were alive”. I just looked at them in disbelief and with hopes that they would pull through, one day at a time.

I have probably mentioned this before in my blog postings back when we were still in the hospital but most of the daily care and decision making for major health issues is done in NICU by the nurse practitioners. The doctors are not always there but they are available via phone when needed. The nurse practitioners are wonderful and very competent. That said, I was hoping that our favorite NP would be there today and she was. She held Cole for a long time and they just smiled and laughed at each other. If it weren’t for her expertise, compassion and strong will to help him survive, he might not be here today. I’m forever indebted to Lori for that. They got some great photos of the two of them so I hope that's the one that goes into the paper!

Once the interview was over, they moved on to interview some families who currently have babies in the NICU. I saw some of the babies through the glass and could hardly believe that we were once in their shoes. I thought about what it would be like for them to spend Mothers Day with their preemies in the hospital. They probably feel blessed beyond belief that their babies are alive and in such good care. On the other hand, they are probably so incredibly scared that something will happen to their baby. It will be a bittersweet day for them I’m sure. I know the NICU nurses will do everything to make it a special day for the Mom's there.

It warms my heart to know that the nurses and caregivers at our hospital (AAMC) were so happy to see us as returning patients. They genuinely care about their NICU families and love to see the kids come back as big babies. They are such special people. Although I don’t miss the NICU drill at all on a daily basis, I sure do miss seeing the wonderful nurses – they are friends too.

The article should be out in print on Mothers Day in the Baltimore Sun. I’ll post a link when it comes out. I hope it’s a good article – you know how reporters are though – we are keeping our fingers crossed for a positive, accurate account of our wonderful experience there. And as a bonus, maybe some cute pictures of our little guys too.

Mothers Day

I find it odd how, even after resolving my infertility issues, Mothers Day is still a tender topic for me. I have been told that infertility never leaves you and I do believe that is true. For most of my life, Mothers Day was a day to celebrate my amazing Mom and my Grandmothers. About 4 years ago, the meaning changed a bit for me personally, since at that time I was ready to actually BE a Mom. We had dreams of having a baby the next year. When my perfect world plan of easily becoming a Mom was shattered by infertility issues, the meaning of Mothers Day changed yet again. Mothers Day’s came and went each year, still no baby. Sadly, it became a very hard day, instead of a joyous one. It was the hardest holiday of the year. As selfish as that sounds, it was. Although I never lost sight of the importance of recognizing my own Mom for the amazing woman that she is and how much she means to me, and my mother in law for all that she is & has done for us, it was personally one of the hardest days of the year.

Anyone suffering with fertility issues will agree. I think the anticipation of the day was actually worse than the day itself – but still, seeing all of the hype about Mothers Day on tv, in card stores, in retail shops etc. was at times, heart wrenching. Picking out Mothers Day cards for friends and family was nearly impossible. The longing for a child became more intense as the days went on. And after losing three babies along the way, Mothers Day felt like a day set out there to torture infertile women, especially those who have lost babies and were not able to hold their babies on that special day. The babies were not here; they were in heaven. Or for some, they had never even been pregnant. I guess at that time I was a Mom of sorts; but that didn’t make it any easier. This probably sounds so callous and selfish – but it’s the honest truth. Infertility can bring out the worst in you at times.

It wasn’t until last night that I started reflecting on all of this when C. & I were discussing what the plans were for Mothers Day. I got a sudden pang in my stomach over the words “Mothers Day”, and then realized that finally, it was my day too. Last year at Mothers Day I was pregnant with the triplets – but to be honest, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop so was a bit hesitant to celebrate too much or get too excited. I distinctly remember saying to myself that I would patiently wait until next year to celebrate – God willing, everything would be OK and I would have babies in hand to be able to celebrate with. My family came over to our house last year and they brought me Mothers Day gifts & cards. It felt funny. I remember opening them and being scared to death that they would have to be packed away or returned due to something happening to the pregnancy. I remember opening a package with three bibs and three onesie pj things. It was hard not to get too excited – for it was certainly the longest I had remained pregnant thus far; little did I know what was in store just a few short weeks later. My first "belly shot" was taken last year on Mothers Day...it was just a small little bump. Not in my wildest dreams would I think that my dream of having a baby(ies) to hold would actually come true; not considering our history up until that point.

As excited as I am for Mothers Day this year, at the same time my heart hurts for those around me who are still struggling to have babies. And there are many. I almost feel guilty that I get to celebrate this time around and they don’t, just yet. A few of them have lost babies in the last year (two have lost twins) and I can’t help but know how hard this day is going to be for them. And for those who haven’t lost babies but are struggling to have them, it’s just as hard. When you’re not able to get pregnant or stay pregnant, or have lost a little one, Mothers Day can turn into a day that you are reminded of what you DON’T have; instead of what you DO have. Sad but true.

So, my hat is off for those of you who are dreading this Mothers Day. I know that on the outside you will do what you need to do to celebrate the day properly for your Mothers (and Sisters, sister in laws, friends etc.). And you’ll do it with a smile and be the strong, amazing women that you are. But I also know that deep down, it’s not that easy. You all hold a special place in my heart, especially this coming Sunday. I will hope and pray that this is the last Mothers Day that you will endure without your ultimate gift. Keep the faith and don’t give up. The wait is so hard – but you’re a better person for it in many ways. And in the end, everything WILL be ok.

Happy Mothers Day in advance to all of you out there – it’s a VERY special day and you all are very special Mom’s!

Mommy's early Birthday Gift...

Nevermind turning 30 (again, hee hee) this weekend, THIS is the best birthday gift I could ever ask for! (these are from our latest portrait session this week).

A little evening R & R

Nothing like a little relaxation in the hammock, huh boys? We spent some time outside this afternoon and I think the boys were pretty relaxed!

Our first swing!

We enjoyed the beautiful weather over the weekend and the boys got to go on their first real swing set! We took them to the park downtown Annapolis and then had lunch outside. Of course, we didn't have the real camera to capture the moment but I took these on my phone - not too shabby. At least we have something to remember the occasion with!