Today is our 5 month birthday!

We can't believe that the boys were born 5 months ago, today. Depending on how I look at it, time seems to have crawled by in some respects, and flown by in others. I certainly am not wishing any time away - for they have grown so much, so fast, I can hardly believe it. It's amazing how far they have come. As most Mom's say, I wish time could stand still so we can enjoy these special moments with them s-l-o-w-l-y, instead of the moments flying on by.

They have gone from little 2 pounders back in August last year (this photo was taken when they were 3 weeks old)....

to big 12 & 14 pounders! In just a few short months.

It's hard to believe that JD has been home for 3 months and Cole has been home for 2 already. They are amazing little miracle boys, that is for sure.

HAPPY FIVE MONTH BIRTHDAY JD & COLE!

It's a "boys" day

Daddy and the boys enjoyed a nice, relaxing day watching sports yesterday. I couldn't resist the photo opp...

Who can complain about that? Now they just need some drinks and snacks and they are all set! It's too bad that they will grow up thinking that the only channel that the "big" tv has is sports...(there is never anything on it but sports).


The boys are doing great. They were fighting a little cold I think but this morning they seem to be a little less runny. Hoping that we dodged the bullet. Grammy has the kids today on my first day back to work - may the force be with her! More updates later...

No worries

Just so that nobody worries that the throw up flu has hit our house, Cole's throw ups are a result of his reflux...not a bug. It's actually not that unusual for him - usually it's only once a day but yesterday, it was more...

In any case, the boys have been sleeping all day long so they must be fighting that cold. Hoping for a better evening/night tonight. More later.

The last 12 hours...

A 1/2 of a day in the life of the Licameli twins...
It’s 7am, a bit later than I normally get MY day rolling – it’s been an interesting 12 hours! All day yesterday, I was suspecting that the boys had encountered their first cold. I think I was right. We had a good day yesterday, with the physical therapist coming and working with both boys. They did well and seem to be right on target with their various milestones. By 5pm, their world started to fall apart.

4pm – both boys sleeping soundly in their respective favorite entertainment equipment; a little gurgly in the nose though.

4:30 pm– a friend pops over for a quick visit and they both start stirring;

5pm – JD gets his bottle;

5:30 pm – Cole gets his bottle – and takes only about 2.5 ounces;
As Cole is getting his bottle, JD starts freaking out; not sure what was wrong but he was starting to fuss – getting louder as the minutes progressed;

6pm – JD in a full fledge fit as I try to get Cole to take more food. He refuses so I put him down and pick up JD.
In the meantime, Chuck calls and is on his way – halleluiah!

6:30 pm – Both kids are not happy and Mommy has no idea why; Chuck calls again and says he’s stopped in traffic on New York Avenue; offers to pick up dinner. Now, what a nice gesture but frankly, dinner is the last thing on my mind because I can’t get the babies to stop crying and get happy again; I tell him to call me back in a while and we’ll discuss dinner. In the meantime, grow wings on that car and get home ASAP.

7pm – I take one baby upstairs and find the number for pizza hut – call and order a pizza. It’s an hour and a half wait due to the snow…perfect, by then we’ll surely have the babies under control.

7:15 – Daddy arrives home…phew. He attempts to take both babies and thinks he can calm them. I’ve had to pee since 3pm and now my bladder is about to burst. I run to bathroom. After a few minutes (I enjoyed that quiet time in the bathroom, as short as it was) I sadly realize that C. cannot get them calmed so I go back down and grab Cole. They are still not happy.

7:30 – In an effort to get the night bottles made, I take Cole and swiftly put him in the Bjorn to race around the kitchen and make formula, while waiting for the pizza, while answering the phone and feeding the cats who are screaming that they are hungry. When low and behold, Cole lets out a HUGE burp, followed by that 2.5 ounces of formula that he ate over two hours ago. Nothing like warm regurgitated formula running down the inside of your shirt between your boobs. Hmmm. Puke all over him, me and the Bjorn. How in the heck am I going to get him out of the bjorn, and not get the puke on everything else? I got him out of the bjorn; took off my shirt and threw him in the tub. I’m sure that was a sight – me bathing him, half dressed.

8pm – Out of the tub, toasty warm, in new pj’s, mommy has a new shirt – HE PUKES AGAIN! Aye.

8:05 – we change our outfits again; there can’t be anything left in this poor little boys tummy. Meanwhile, he’s screaming again because he’s HUNGRY!

8:10 – the doorbell rings – shit, it’s the pizza guy. Run downstairs, drop Cole off in his “seat” downstairs, and get the money for the pizza guy. Are you wondering where C is? He’s still downstairs trying to get JD situated – and you know how Men are with multi-tasking? Sorry guys…it’s true.

8:15 – there is piping hot pizza on the counter – that we CAN’T EAT yet. I quickly make bottles and get them in the frig. Cole is screaming so loud now because he’s hungry so I take him up to his room and feed him his bottle (after putting his monitor on and his oxygen). He drinks the whole thing – without puking (or burping).

9pm – Cole is down for the night, and sleeping peacefully. Gurgly in the nose, but nonetheless, he’s sleeping.

9:15 – C. makes JD’s bottle and feeds him.

9:45pm – JD is down for the night, and sleeping peacefully. Gurgly in the nose, but nonetheless, he’s sleeping.

10pm – we eat our cold pizza and by 10:05, I’m falling into bed.

10:15pm-5:30am – We ALL slept through the night!

5:30 am – I had to wake up the boys to feed them. Not a bad problem to have, right?
I wake up Cole first, figuring he must be starving since he’s had 4 ounces of food in the last 12 hours. He takes about 2 ounces, very slowly and is falling back to sleep. In the meantime, he poops and it stinks! I know better than to change him right after he eats because that ALWAYS makes him throw up. So I wait about 10 minutes and get JD up and change his diaper. By that time, Cole is sitting quietly on his boppy, with a big stinky diaper.

5:45 – I pick up Cole to change his diaper, and of course, he pukes up every last drop of the bottle he just took, including his medicine. Shit. He’s covered, I’m covered, and the changing table is covered in formula. We change our clothes again; and Cole goes back into his crib. Within seconds, he’s sleeping soundly again.

6am – JD is wailing in his seat because it’s been 15 minutes now and he’s still not been fed; I re-heat his bottle, and get going feeding him. Within about 5 minutes, I smell ANOTHER poopy diaper. It’s JD. We stop feeding and change his diaper – it was so bad, I couldn’t stand the smell so had to stop mid-feed and take care of it. Minor explosion in his pants, all over his PJ’s etc. Dear God. We change his clothes and get back to feeding.
Oh, did I mention that C. is still sleeping at this point and has no idea what is going on in the room next door?

6:15 am – we’re back in the rocker, resuming JD’s feeding. He decides he’s not hungry any longer and stops eating after 3 ounces. Great. He’s falling asleep again. Without burping. Shit. Burping my kids while they are asleep is never successful, so I put him back in bed. NOT SMART. The second I lay him down, out comes the burp, with about an ounce of formula with it. Why am I so stupid? I pick him up and change his clothes too. Now he’s awake again…and smiling. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

6:30 am – JD is back in his crib and sleeping soundly….BUT, the cats are howling in the hallway because they are hungry too. I run down to feed them, throw in a load of laundry, wash the bottles, start the dishwasher and get to my computer to check email.

And here I sit, writing my blog, because I couldn’t resist getting this down on paper. And actually, this is the last thing I should be doing right now but it's more fun than the other alternatives! This is what parenthood is all about – and I laughed at myself every second while this was all happening. Although utter chaos ensued for a few hours here, it’s what I have waited for – for so many years, I wanted this. And now it’s here, and I love it! JD's smile after his yucky diaper set the tone for the day.

I’m solo today without Jessica so we’ll see how it goes. I’m sure it will be another funny day – especially if the boys aren’t feeling well. I’ll be calling the doc to see if they want to see them. The common cold usually wouldn’t be a problem for a baby but with these guys, we have to be a bit more careful. Wish us luck & I’ll keep you posted.

What's Different?

That's right - NO OXYGEN TUBE!

You heard right - Cole's oxygen has been weaned down to the night time only! We are so happy - and so is he. We went to the pulmonologist today and we have a good plan going forward. For the next two weeks, we will use the O2 at night only. After two weeks, we have to get Cole weighed again to make sure he is gaining weight OK. The tell tale sign that he still needs oxygen would be that he's expending too much energy trying to breathe and he doesn't gain weight as well as he should and has been. Assuming that his weight gain stays in line, we are authorized to stop the oxygen all together and weigh him again in another 2 weeks. So, all in all, if the next 4 weeks show that Cole can do well without it, we're done! During the time we are weaning him off, he will also have to continue using his monitor, at night only. That's just fine with me - during this time, it's added insurance that he's doing fine through the night. It will allow me to sleep a bit easier without worrying too much.

The latest stats on the boys - JD weighed in at 13lb, 11 oz today (with a onesie) and Cole came in at 11lb, 13 oz. I can hardly believe how quickly these little guys are growing. They both gained 2+ pounds in 3 weeks...I think this high calorie formula is definitely doing it's job! Despite Cole's daily throw up's, he's still gaining weight.

That's about it for updates - we've waited 4 weeks for today's appointment and we've really made some fantastic progress. Cole is one determined, patient, strong little boy - we're so incredibly thankful!

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

Here's a cute one of my morning buddy - it appears that he's an early riser like his Mommy! He helps me work in the early morning hours...

Monday Ramblings...

It's our first snow day of the year - and the boys first snow day EVER! We even got to drive home in the snow last night from Grammy & Grampy's house. We spent the afternoon there since Daddy is sick - it was either stick it out and take care of C. and pray that the other three of us didn't catch the "crud" or get out of dodge. Sadly, I packed up the kids and scrammed from the house as swiftly and quickly as possible when we figured out that C. was still fighting a fever. We missed him all day and I know he missed the boys watching football with him (but I'm certain he enjoyed the peace and quiet all day long!).

It's one of those typical gray winter days - and I cannot tell you how nice it is to be stuck inside with nothing to do but get down on the floor and play with the babies. I only wish I could just fall asleep right in the middle of playing like they do!

Cole is spending some time today off of oxygen and loving every minute of it. I know it must feel like he's "off leash" now. I opted to leave it off for a few hours this morning just to give him (and me) a break. Hopefully it won't be long now before he comes off of it completely. I took a few pictures of him without his tubes - he looks so different to me without that thing in his nose.

As I sit here in a pile of toys on the floor with two napping babies, I can't help but reflect on where we've been the last 6 months. It's been a wild ride. And there are still days when I feel like I'm just playing house and these kids are not really mine. I don't know if all new Mom's feel like that or it's a function of not really believing after so long that I would really have kids. And they are MINE. Whatever it is, I wonder when it will stop feeling like this? Or will it? Every single day I look at them both in amazement that they are ours - and they are here to stay. I feel so lucky.

It's even better today because I'm home alone with them both and enjoying every single second. My nanny went on vacation to South Beach - and it was perfect timing. This is my last week at home with the kids before going back to work. I think I'm ready to go back - it's been 7 months since I had to bail out unexpectedly. Although I have continued to work throughout my absence in a part time capacity, the routine has been different than I knew it to be for the previous 13 years of my working career. What a big change. I think it will be easier to get back to work to do work, as opposed to trying to do work at home between bottles, crying bouts, spit up cleanups, poopy diapers and the phone ringing. I'll probably get 10 x's as much done in half of the time without interruption - and will be so excited to get back home. Here's a glimpse of my "home office" on my solo days. It's the best home office EVER. That little space of rug, right in the middle - that's my "chair".

Talk to me this time next week and ask me how I'm doing - I pray that I'll be OK when I go back. I sure will miss the boys but since I'm only working 4 hours per day at the office, I'm hoping it will be an easy way to get back into it. We'll see.

Here are a couple more snaps from our day...lots of smiles these days!

GAP Babies

Check out these bellies!

This speaks for itself. I can't help but laugh at their bellies. Where on earth did these come from?




Both boys really like thier baths. I can't wait until we can get them in the tub at the same time once they can sit up on their own. Then they can splash and play together. I've been working on trying to help them like the water. So far so good. When I run water over their head and face, they don't complain at all so hopefully we'll have a couple of water babies! Of course, a pool is a bit different than a warm bath tub but we'll see. Nevertheless, bath time is quite an adventure around our house. Especially with all of Cole's wires and tubes ~ he's rather patient though so that helps so much. Taking those on and off for baths cannot be fun for him; he takes it like a big boy and works with me pretty well. He really hates his oxygen canula now though and bats my hands away as I try to put it back on. Hopefully very soon we'll be able to start weaning him and get rid of it all together. Afterall, he looks so much cuter without his "O" tube!

Go Syracuse?

I might get in trouble for this photo someday - but I'll take my chances! As you may know, C's family is from Syracuse NY. His cousin sent the boys these fun sweatshirts - maybe in hopes that they would grow up to be CUSE fans? NEVER! Not with a Maryland Terp fanatic father!

In any case, I know that someday this will be good blackmail material to be used by C's side of the family (Joey). At this point, Cole & JD don't know the difference of course. Rest assured, someday they will! The next photo I post will be of them in their TERPS garb...(yes, we have some already).

Flashbacks & Memories

Unfortunately, these kind of flashbacks are not the fun kind. Another friend of mine has found the bedrest blues. Not only that, but she's been "magged" like I was for pre-term labor and she has found herself in a very similar situation that we were in, at almost the same time in her pregnancy (28 weeks). I talked with her yesterday morning and as soon as I heard her voice, I knew that she had been given magnesium for her contractions. It's that weak, shakey, slow talking voice. Her response when I asked how she was doing was "I'm getting my a** kicked". Boy, do I know that feeling. I can't get them off of my mind.

It's amazing how quickly all of that comes back when you talk to someone going through it. It brought both of us to tears when we talked. She's holding strong and hanging in there. She'll be 29 weeks tomorrow so we're keeping our fingers crossed that she can get some more time under her belt before the baby decides to come. J&J, you're in our thoughts and prayers - LOTS! And Baby Z - the world isn't quite ready for you yet - keep cookin' in there!

Milestones

Well, I hate to speak too soon so I'll say it quietly but I think we are sleeping through the night now! Over the weekend I started to work on dropping the 1-2 am feeding and within 2 days, I think we've got it. In prep for my return to work, I would like to have them sleeping solidly through the night so I've got 2 weeks to perfect it.

I can hardly believe that they are already 4½ months old. I will be returning to work on their 5 month birthday. Amazing. I will get the latest stats on them next week when they get their 4th Synagis shot (for RSV). But I can tell you that they are certainly not starving!

Cole is still on his oxygen and monitor but we're hoping like crazy that next weeks pulmonologist appointment will change that. He's ready to get off of both so I'm going to push pretty hard to start weaning him off.

I'll post more pics soon. Have a good week all!

Bath Night

Grammy came over for bath night the other night. Needless to say, I don't think she was quite prepared for the chaos (fun). Nevertheless, she got a few cute pictures of the boys after they were all squeaky clean.

Big boy Cole

and Big Boy JD

Drooler & Napper

Very true to form. Here are a couple of updated pictures from today.


Cole is a professional sleeper (Daddy) and JD is a professional NON-sleeper (Mommy)



Will I ever be able to get them both to look at the camera at the same time? This was the best of about 15 photos! Check out their bellies?!?!?!?

It's an Indian Summer!

72 degrees and sunny on January 6th? Thanks to global warming (NOT!) we are having one of the most beautiful days that I can remember in the middle of winter. It's amazing outside! It's given me such spring fever - especially since I missed so much of the summer last year.

We got up early this morning and headed over to Grammy & Grampy's to take a long walk downtown Annapolis. We also met cousin Emily and Aunt Erica & Uncle Toby to feed the ducks. Apparently the ducks had too much for breakfast (everyone else with kids under 2 had the same idea earlier than we did) and they were too stuffed to eat any more. Plan B - we went to the local playground. Today was JD & Cole's first playground experience and as you can see, they were not as enthusiastic as I would have hoped. There were a zillion kids there and I could just picture them there, at this time next year. They will both be running in opposite directions I'm sure!






But they did enjoy the nice fresh air and warm sunshine. Needless to say, they are zonked out this afternoon, sleeping very soundly and peacefully!



Boy, fresh air does a body good. I feel so guilty even writing this because I have so many friends and family who are out West and in the plains and you are getting pummeled by snow! Hope you guys are surviving the tundra alright - I'll send this nice weather your way after today, I promise!

P.S. - thanks to all of you who commented on my post yesterday about Grief. Time heals, I know. We're getting there, slowly but surely. It's amazing to know that there are people out there who understand and who care so much. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. xo

Grief waits

It's true what they say about grief. If you don't deal with it when it happens, it won't go away, it waits. Anyone who has gone through grief over loss, or anything else for that matter, would probably agree. This week has been particularly hard for some reason. It's all catching up to me. There isn't an hour that goes by that I haven't thought about Cal or cried because I miss him. I can't find a very logical explanation for why now, other than, my grief waited and now it's here.

I attended a memorial prayer service last week for lost babies; perhaps that triggered it. Or maybe it's that we're finally settling into a routine and it's glaringly obvious to me at times that he's missing. There seems to be a hole in my heart. It hurts.

It's that mixed blessing thing again. I look at JD & Cole in amazement and am so thankful that they are with us and doing so well. But moments behind those thoughts these days are thoughts about Calvin and how come he couldn't have made it too. Why did he have to go to heaven so early? For the last many, many weeks we've been concentrating so much on Cole & JD and making sure that they are healthy and happy; it was easy to push the sad thoughts away and fill my days with the busyness that is called life. And it's only going to get busier as the days go on. Especially at the end of the month when I "officially" return to work. Maybe that is why my heart hurts so much now - it's time to get it out and do some healing that needs to be done.

My heart bursts with love when I hold my boys and I've never experienced such a content happy complete feeling. Yet at the same time, it sometimes feels incomplete. I know that this feeling will probably fade with time, but I also know that I will never, ever forget my baby Calvin and his sweet face. The intensity of these thoughts varies by day; but I can usually turn my tears to a smile when I remember that he's watching over all of us and keeping tabs on his brothers. After all, he is the reason that Cole & JD are with us today. Our angel.

4 Month Checkup

The boys had their FOUR month check up today (they are four months actual age, 1 month corrected) and they are doing great! Aside from when Cole threw up all over me and my hair, everything went very well. I looked like a wet rat when I walked out of the doctors office...

JD is weighing in at 11lb, 11 oz - now, I was more floored by the 11:11 coincidence than his actual weight. Remember my post about that a while back? Anyway, JD is now on the growth chart for non-preemie babies. We thought it would take a bit longer but he's in the 5th percentile which is a great milestone for a 12 week premature baby. He's catching up fast.

Cole weighs 9lb, 9 oz. He is not yet on the growth chart but has made such terrific progress with his weight since his last well baby check up. We're very proud of them both!

Their length's are only an inch apart and their head circumference too. They are actually very close in size other than their weights. JD just has a bit more meat on his bones! Both boys are eating about the same amount now - about 5-6 ounces per feed. They are still on the higher calorie formula which explains a good bit of their rapid weight gain.

The nights have been awesome - they are sleeping between 5-7 hours during the night, only waking for one feeding in the early morning hours. Who can complain about that? So far, they are great sleepers.

They also had their hearing exams today, which went fairly well. They are not deaf, but they still are questionable on some of the low tone hearing. The audiologist is fairly certain that the reason for them not hearing the low tones is due to their reflux and fluid in their ear/nose/throat area. It's all inter-related in there and with so much muffled sound, it usually explains the poor results on the low tone portion of the test. It doesn't appear that she is too worried about it at this point so we'll get them re-tested in another 3 months. Both C. and I have a gut feeling that everything is OK. They respond to our voices well and hear their toys and other surrounding noise. Hopefully at the next appointment, we'll get the greenlight that their hearing is fine.

Haven't had a chance to take any new photos over the last couple of days. I promise to post some soon. Be well!