The second best thing to the shopping cart with the attached car in the grocery store are the food stores that give away BALLOONS! What a hit! Had I known that Trader Joes did this before today, I would have started frequenting that store a long time ago.


Our quick grocery outing was a huge hit - we returned with lots of smiles. We met many people in the store today due to the boys insisting that they wear their sunglasses (despite the 1000 x's I had to pick them up off of the floor). Sadly, I did not have my camera with me but took a few shots when I got home. They were quite the little entertainers.



We're fighting the sniffles so it was nice to have some smiles...

Bucket Head

Enough said. We know who the "ham" in the family is....

More Easter Photos

I got some better photos from the Easter weekend. On Saturday, we went to an Easter Eggstravaganza at a local church which was really fun. The only problem was that it was about 32 degrees and snow flurrying while we were there. Nonetheless, we had a fun time. We had to forego the pony rides but the egg hunt was fun. Below are the kids at the easter egg hunt. Nothing like wearing fleece hats while hunting for eggs...I was amazed however that the boys understood the concept of finding hidden eggs!

The boys also got a nice treat from the Easter Bunny at Grammy & Grampy's house. They got an electric Golf Cart! It's too big for them now so it will go back into the attic for a couple of months. But once summer arrives, they will be able to reach the pedal and it will be a wild ride!

And a few more of the kids enjoying their candy...

Easter Sunday

Easter was a hit! We had a great day (although busy) and the kids had a blast. We started the morning early with the Easter bunny treats - JD was gated at the top of the stairs while we got dressed and ready and he could see the treats downstairs. He stood there screaming "ooooooooh" until we finally got to go down to see the loot. We went to church and the kids did really well. I was surprised that they lasted through the service - Cole and I had to take a walk about half way through but JD sat in the pew the whole time entertaining himself. He especially loved the sunglasses that he got from bunny so he wore those for a while. It's too bad that it's inappropriate to take pictures during church. It would have been a good photo...speaking of photos, my pictures from the day were not very good - but here are a few.

Brunch at Grammy & Grampy's was awesome and we got to see cousin Em and Uncle T & Aunt E. We raced home for a quick nap and then off to Gramma & Grampa's for dinner with the other cousins and Aunt D & Uncle R. All in all, it was a fun filled day.

Throughout the day, the kids were up and down on sugar highs....Cole took a special liking to peeps. I have no idea where he got that, must be from his Aunt E. None of the rest of us like them. He would have eaten them all day if we let him...

We hope everyone had a fun filled Easter! We're just now getting rid of our belly aches from so much food and candy.

Benefits of Infertility

Infertility doesn't really have many benefits - but there are a few. I hope I can capture the feelings I'm talking about here.

As a follow up to my post on IF a few weeks ago, I wanted to say a few more words. I was inspired to write this one by a fellow blogger named Nancy who is currently going through an IVF cycle in hopes of her third child. She is in the throws of her cycle now, including injections, daily monitoring, blood work, sonograms etc. She posted recently about some thoughts going through her head as she is cycling again, AFTER already having children. As we all know, going through IVF after you already have a child(ren) is a much different emotional journey than where you are when you are still hoping for your first baby through fertility treatment. It's not to say that it's any easier, it's just different. And it goes without saying that going through any type of fertility treatment, no matter how long or how short, is MUCH different than becoming pregnant without "medical assistance". Here's where the benefit of being infertile comes in.

I'm going to copy some words of Nancy's since she seemed to describe this so well. I will start by saying that I believe (as does Nancy) that love is universal and every parent loves their children the same - parents who are fertile or infertile. Love knows no boundaries or differences. As parents or potential parents, our hearts have that same eternal love for our children. But I do think there are some differences, some of them so important, it makes me feel like the lucky one for going through infertility.

Nancy's thoughts parallel my own - her words are highlighted in yellow so she gets credit for her thoughts. It's only fair right?

We were like any other couple who wanted children. We discussed it, thought it was time and started trying to conceive. Except we didn't fall under the "average" couple who could conceive within a year's time.

It took us 2+ years of fertility treatment (countless cycles, shots, losses, etc) to be lucky enough to fall pregnant with triplets. During that time, I was thrust into a lot of inner dialog that would have never come up if I got pregnant in that first year. I was forced to think about the question "what if I never get pregnant?". It was a very real fear I had. I didn't know if I'd ever get a chance at being a mom. I didn't know if I'd ever get a chance to have children to love. I just didn't know.

What my infertility made me realize is just how much I wanted children. Some women feel "let's see what happens" in regards to having children - never really being 100% behind having a child at that time. I can't tell you how many women I've known who "thought" about having a child and before they made their decision, their "surprise" pregnancy had already made the decision for them. To me, I feel like these women were robbed of the knowledge of knowing they really, truly were ready for their child at that time. Sure, they loved the child, but they didn't get to make the decision for themselves.


Now that I have succeeded at least once, I'm glad I went through the time trying to conceive. I knew what I would do for a child. Especially now, I know that I'll go through multiple daily injections and surgery and possible heartbreak for my child. I know some women who just wouldn't go to these lengths, but I know I would and I did. I will never take my child or my pregnancies for granted. I know how lucky I am that I did succeed. And I will never ever forget it. For the rest of my life, I will look at my children and I will know how much I wanted them. I will forever know what lengths I would have gone through for them - the lengths I did go through.

Like I said, I don't think women who never went through infertility treatment love their children any less than women who have gone through infertility. That's not my point. My point is simply that had I not gone through fertility treatment, I might not have realized how much I wanted children and why I wanted children. And since fertility treatment, I can appreciate all of those chances I had to be reminded about what a blessing children are.

The feeling I feel, as every other IF'er feels about their children, is something I can barely explain. The relief. We look at our children and we know we won the lottery. We know we dodged a bullet. We feel this overwhelming sense of luck. It's in addition to the love we feel and honestly, I'm glad I feel it. If I didn't go through infertility, I wouldn't even know that this feeling existed. Women who conceive in their first year get the bonus of not having to go through infertility. Infertiles get the bonus of getting this feeling. It's all fair if you ask me.

Having this realization, it makes every second going through treatment worth while. It's what made us keep trying cycle after cycle for that first live birth. It's what makes us go back again and again for more kids. I can only hope every infertile out there will eventually feel this bonus feeling along with their love for their children. That feeling is what makes IF tolerable. Having been down that tough, bumpy road for too long, I would do it again knowing the joy it can ultimately bring.

Early Easter

Since I commented on having Easter so early in a previous post over the weekend, thought this would be fun to share. A friend sent this to me - it's really interesting.

Easter this year is: Sunday March 23, 2008

As you may know, Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20). This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar.

Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March22) but that is pretty rare. This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!

Here's the facts:
The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year2228 (220 years from now).

The last time it was this early was 1913(so if you're 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).

The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now).

The last time it was on March 22 was1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

Here are the little leprechauns themselves...

Some day they will be drinking green beer out of hats like these!

Future's so bright, gotta wear shades

Weekend Warriors

As I sit typing this, the kids are in their playroom and it's raining outside. This is a particular problem as of late since the kids are absolutely OBSESSED with being outdoors. This is a good thing on any day except for rainy days. It's an increasing challenge these days to keep them busy with fun things indoors at home. They are very into "hugging" these days. I caught one on film....

They also love to help sweep the floor - obviously not at all productive but it passes some time while I clean up after breakfast.


It's only 9:15 and we have done numerous activities and I'm almost out of options. We even dragged out the little table and tried to do some art work. It worked well for about 3 minutes until they started eating the crayons. I guess we're not quite ready for that yet. I did get some good art work for their scrapbooks though. Their first official drawings. They spent more time UNDER the table playing than on top...

Looks like we'll be leaving home to find some extra curricular entertainment. If it weren't for the germ factor, I'd take them to the mall to see the Easter Bunny. Considering that we found an impromptu Easter party yesterday while on a walk, I guess they won't really be jipped. I don't feel badly for depriving them of the "mall experience" since we got to see him yesterday. Cole loved the Easter bunny and even put his arms out to be picked up. What other kid do you know that would think a walking adult size Easter bunny is normal? The Easter bunny concept baffles me - it's so not normal looking. JD was less than enthused and had that strange dumb founded look on his face. The bunny didn't do much for him I guess. He was more entertained by the live petting zoo, complete with sheep, llama, bunnies, ducks and a ferret (ewwww).

So, we're gearing up for Easter next weekend - it seems so strange that it's so early doesn't it? I don't remember ever an Easter and St. Patricks Day falling within the same week? Hopefully it will trigger an early spring and this cold dreary weather will make a quick exit. Our daffodils are blooming so I guess that is a good sign!

Spring has sprung!

For the GRANDS...

Grandparents, that is! All of the grandparents have been out of town for the last week or so - thought I would post a few fun photos of the kids for your entertainment Grammy, Grampy, Grandma and Grampa. We miss you all!

Looking back...

I've been contemplating this post for quite a while now. The main reason I have contemplated it is my fear that even one reader of my blog is in the throws of infertility treatment and reads this post about others being successful while they are still struggling. I do know that there are still so many women out there who are struggling with fertility problems - both primary and secondary infertility. It's just such a tough road and can be so painful. But my hope would be that reading this would instill some HOPE to those people to keep at it. Don't give up the fight - as hard as it is emotionally and physically, you can do it.

I had dinner with a friend recently who I met while on my "fertility journey" a few years ago. We met on an online support board (Resolve) and figured out that we both lived in Annapolis and were going to the same fertility clinic. We met for coffee a few weeks later and have been friends since that time. We spent many a day in the doctors office together biting our finger nails waiting on results.

I also keep in regular contact with many of the girls that I met on the Baby Center Ectopic Pregnancy Board way back after my first ectopic pregnancy in 2004. This board was started with about 8 of us who had experienced ectopic pregnancies and were moving on to IVF. All at the same time. We're spread out all around the country & world - Georgia, Minnesota, Indiana, New Jersey, Texas, Wisconsin, South Carolina, Maryland and even a friend in Australia! I've met one of the gals in person - but we all anxiously await the day we can all meet in person.

One of my friends who has been struggling to have a baby since before I was doing so, recently fell pregnant ON HER OWN! After tens (or hundreds) of thousands of dollars spent, a couple of fertility clinics, years worth of doctors appointments in various states in the US, thousands of injectible hormone shots, a few losses of babies (one late term loss of twins), SHE'S PREGNANT! And she's pretty far along now - yet has not let the cat out of the bag officially. Do you blame her? How is that for miracles? She was waiting to start her very last cycle - and low and behold, God gave her a little surprise.

Of this extended group of infertility acquaintences, I am happy to report that all of us have now had children or are expecting babies in the next few months. Some have even had their 2nd or 3rd babies, some IVF and some naturally after fertility treatment. There are no words to explain how heart warming that is. Although I know that so many women out there are still battling infertility and living childless, those people who I have been closely following have had success. Each and every one of them have been blessed with their own baby; none have had to be resolved with living without children. What a blessing. Modern medicine has come so far and if it weren't for that, many of us might not be so lucky to have our children.

During my struggles with infertility over the last few years, I have met some incredible people. This "family" of sorts acted as a lifeline during these tough times. Included in this family were the nurses and doctors at our fertility clinic, my OBGYN doctors and nurses, my acupuncturists, my friends going through the same roller coaster of infertility, the doctors and nurses at the hospital where I was bedrested, the NICU staff, my fellow mothers of multiples friends; and the list goes on. To say that this life experience has opened up new doors is an understatement. My world has expanded to include some extremely amazing, powerful people and friendships. It's always amazing to see where our life experiences take us - and often times while in the throws of life itself, we cannot always imagine why we're on the path we're on. Then down the line at some point, it starts to become a bit more clear.

The fertility journey is still not over for us. We have frozen embryos. We're in a quandry about our next steps. It's a moral issue. It's an emotional issue. It's a physical issue. Those decisions are not easy ones. But ones that we certainly have experts to help guide us on. Our lives have been forever changed by our experiences - even though so many of these experiences tested our hearts, minds, patience and perseverence, they have affected us in very positive ways. As time goes on, I continue to heal from the "hard" parts of our journey - and I'll continue to thank God for putting me in this place, for it's been just as rewarding as it has been hard.

Spring Fever

March is always the toughest month of the year for me. By this point, I'm SO over winter time and ready for spring. And we are often peppered by a few spring days here and there which makes the spring fever that much worse. Only a few more weeks of this and then we'll be able to break out the spring clothes and open the windows!

We've been getting out every day this week to play outside and it's been so nice. The kids just love the outdoors and scream holy hell when it's time to come inside. I guess this is a good problem since I won't have to worry about them not wanting to go outside to play. They love wagon rides and walks. We've been stalking all of the local "tot lots" trying to find our favorites.

The car is a hot comodity right now. JD's got it mastered, much to his brother dismay...

Cole has absolutely taken off with his walking since his tube surgery. In just one week he went from not even being able to balance on his feet to walking all over the bumpy yard pushing his car.Here I was most worried about his speech and not thinking about how his balance might have been so severely affected by the fluid in his ears. Low and behold, by Saturday he was walking behind anything he could find to push across the floor. His cruising has improved tremendously and he's now standing unassisted for short periods of time. You might be saying "it's about time, he's 18 months!" but he's been through so much and is just slow at catching up. But we've turned the corner now - he's going to be walking alone within the next week or two I think. AMEN. He's so much happier now - it's amazing how much confidence he's gained just in the last few days. It brings tears to my eyes when I see his giant smile and how proud he is.

We're all finally recovered from the week long cough and cold flu. Yuck. Hopefully that was the last bug of the season and we'll be healthy again for a while. A few more snaps from today...