VOTE VOTE VOTE

I hope that everyone is planning on voting next week. Please, make an EDUCATED vote on November 4th!

Halloween was a hit!

The kids did great on Halloween night. They loved trick or treating and especially loved seeing all of the lights and running kids while being pulled in the wagon. We're in for a real treat next year. Until tonight, they didn't really know what candy was - the cats out of the bag now!

Hope everyone had a fun, safe night - it was a great night for trick or treating!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
We went to a halloween party yesterday with about 15 other 'multiples' families (do the math). It was organized chaos - and we did it without wine! Hats off to the brave MOM who volunteered her house for over 30 toddlers. She's a better woman than I!

Here's a sneak peek at the boys costumes - these photos aren't great. We'll get better ones tonight! More to come...


Cole is not a fan of his dog suit....


Have a safe and fun Halloween!

Deja Vu

It comes back so clearly, so easily. I have a new friend on bedrest. I visited her a few weeks ago, a week after she lost one of her twins in utero. They had twin to twin transfusion syndrome.

Mid afternoon, I got a call about a woman I needed to visit. At that time, she was only 19 weeks. When we met, we had THAT connection. The connection that comes only once in a while and is immediate when I meet someone who has lost a baby. And the connection that only a former bedrester feels when you see a pregnant Mom laying in bed, feet higher than head, hanging on for dear life to that little life that is still growing inside.

We talked for a while; her loss was still really fresh. She was sorta stoic, strong and scared. Things had calmed a bit and seemed stable with the living baby. Her emotions were conflicted – moving between such sadness & devastation for the loss, but staying strong and optimistic for the living baby. What a tough place to be. We laughed a little, cried a little and talked about things a little. The real grief comes later – but there are much more important things at hand now, like the living baby.

I got a call last night from my new friend. When I called her back, I learned that things had taken a turn the wrong direction and she was in a very precarious place. Her cervix had changed and there was only a very thin membrane separating her baby from the world. She was scared. And sad. And having a hard time staying positive. She’s 23 weeks now and almost to the viability mark. One more week and she can get the steroid shots for the baby, which increases the odds of survival if born soon. They tilted her bed even further back, so she’s standing on her head (almost). Gravity is working in the opposite direction to take the pressure off. Imagine eating, drinking and existing with your head 45 degrees below your feet. She has a headache. It’s no fun.

Just typing this gives me butterflies in my belly and makes my heart hurt. Sadly, there are no words for her except “one day at a time & stay positive”. But I’ve been there. I’ve been THAT scared. There’s nothing worse than being completely out of control of your situation and just having to sit and wait. Alone. Every minute that goes by, you wonder what will happen next. You pray for nothing to happen. It changes so quickly, and without warning. The nurses come and go. The visitors come and go. The husband and family come and go. And you and the baby(ies) stay there, hoping.

As I walked to the car after our short visit this morning, I cried. I cried for her because I know how scary it is. I know how lonely it is. I know how that helpless out of control feeling feels. I cried because I couldn’t find any words at all to say to help her. I get it, L. I get it. And I'm sorry you have to endure this. In the meantime, we pray for a happy ending...

If you have a few minutes, this is pretty funny. Jessica, our nanny took this late last week as they were waiting for me to get home (they were locked out of the house). Enjoy!

13 years...

...and still goin' strong. I am the jerk that almost forgot our anniversary today, amidst the chaos. And wouldn't you know, I was surprised by a dozen beautiful roses. We're postponing our anniversary today and celebrating later this week. Nonetheless, Happy Anniversary to the man I married 13 years ago today - you're my best friend, rock and confidant; we still have so much fun together and we're so blessed with our family.

I love you more every day - you're a wonderful husband & father and I'm so lucky to have you. Here's to many more together my love!

-Me

It aint over til the fat lady sings...

I just went upstairs to check on the kids and JD had puked all over his bed - again. Seriously, it's a cruel joke someone is playing on us. No?

A new kid, just add water

...that's what the on-call pediatrician said to me last night about 2 hours after Cole was admitted to the hospital. The one thing that actually made me chuckle.

Cole's screaming low blood sugar & dehydrated little body earned us a sleepless night in the pediatric suites at AAMC. He hardly passed through the ER before they were walking us directly down to ped's for an immediate admission. I guess we can say we made the right decision about taking him to the doctor yesterday afternoon.

Within a few short minutes of a bolus of sugar water, Cole turned back into his feisty little self. He had not eaten in almost 48 hours and had started refusing fluids because he couldn't hold them down. Once that appetite returned, he ate 6 packs of crackers in about 10 minutes. It reminded me of one of those cracker eating contests you see in college - only we weren't asking him to whistle at the end with a dry mouth full of crumbs.

We settled in around 10:30 with lights out and may have slept a solid 2 hours in a row; that's about it. It's pretty hard to keep an IV in a 2 year olds arm without a constant fuss. Let me add that it's even more interesting trying to get an IV into a 2 year old arm to begin with...luckily, the anti-nausea meds had a sedative so that helped with the sleeping. Any time the nurses came in, he said "please, take it off" about 10 times in a row. At first it started out being a bit hard to understand but by the end of the night, he perfected those words and they were clear as day.

By 8:30 this morning, he was back to his old self; eating crackers again, trying to get out of bed and throwing the football with me. He's one resilient little dude.

We were chomping at the bit to get back home. He must have asked for JD & Daddy at least every 15 minutes for endless hours - and would you know, we walked in the front door, greeted by JD and he walked right by him like he never left.

I feel like I've been beaten to a pulp over the last week with all of the boys in the house being so sick. Hopefully we've turned the corner now and the end of the tunnel is near. If it's not, I'm blowing town in the middle of the night and taking a short hiatus!

Dear God,

While I am most thankful that you spared me of the long term version of this stomach bug and only gave it to me for 12 hours, I plea for you to assist in it's speedy exit from our premise, immediately. We have had this germy monster among us for a week now and we're beyond ready for it to go away. My kids are starving and thirsty and would really like to be able to hold some calories in their tiny bodies.

I don't know how much longer I can sit and watch Diego and Dora (thank goodness for DVR); nor do I know how many more times I can clean up explosive diapers and pukey jammies. Please, please, please do away with this virus as soon as you possibly can so we can resume some normalcy. Three baths a day and endless laundry are starting to take their toll.

Anything you can do to help would be greatly appreciated. I will continue to pray in the meantime.

Truly yours,
Mommy L

Bummer

I hate when things you are really looking forward to don't work out - ugh. It's been one of those weeks. I took the day off from work today (pre-planned) to spend the day with my kids and some of my favorite fellow MOMs (Moms of Multiples) and sadly, we couldn't do what we had planned. Our outing was to be a fun day the Pumpkin Patch - and it's a beautiful fall day outside. I knew when I got JD out of bed this am that it wasn't happening - nothing like waking up to a sick baby; and having to change sheets/blankets/jammies etc. I'm just totally disappointed - I've been looking forward to it for weeks. A day off with my boys and my girlfriends. Oh well. Could be worse. I do feel sorry for him being sick - he's just not the happy go lucky little guy he usually is; that always makes me sad to see.

C. has been VERY sick all week (the sickest I have EVER seen him) with what we thought was a bad case of food poisoning. He just returned to work today, since Monday. We're now wondering if it wasn't in fact food poisoning and it's a flu bug due to today's events. Surely Cole is shortly behind JD. Fingers crossed that I escape it. I'm run down however so hoping my immune system kicks into high gear. Although, at least it's Friday and we have a weekend coming up to recoup.

It's been a sleepless week for a number of reasons so it will be nice to try to catch up on some much needed rest. We were supposed to have company this weekend which we had to cancel since there is an alien stomach bug who has taken up temporary residence with us.

Last Monday, our nanny gave her notice and let us know that she's leaving us, right after Thanksgiving. Now THAT is a kick in the pants. After a few days of mourning, we started to figure out our options going forward in December. Included in these options is the possibility of putting the kids into a structured school program with afternoon care. I started my search. I visited a couple of schools this week. I have lost sleep over what to do. My work schedule would have to be modified a bit (actually more in office hours). My kids will miss Jess so much, and so will we. I don't want to stop working - I have the best of both worlds right now. C. doesn't want our kids in 'daycare' all week. The cost is similar, which is good. We'll never be able to replace Jess in kind with an even calibur nanny - we've been spoiled. I would have to settle for something less. WHAT A TOUGH DECISION! We have to make a decision soon - if we don't do the school program, I need to get busy on my nanny search...to be continued....

October 15

Today is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. For any of you who are celebrating this day today, don't forget to light your candle at 7pm tonight - there will be a wave of light in honor of our angels.

In memory of our Son, Calvin, a selfless hero and our other lost babies.

An Angel Never Dies

Don't let them say I wasn't born,
That something stopped my heart,
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I've loved you from the start.
Although my body you can't hold,
It doesn't mean I'm gone.
This world was worthy, not, of me,
God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I'll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.
You'll hear that it was "meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes."
But that won't soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.
I'm watching over all you do,
another child you'll bear.
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.
There will come a time,
I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips,
And then you'll understand.
Although I've never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn't mean I never "was"
~ An Angel Never Dies.....

We miss you always.

Is your Mama a Llama?

We did our annual Fall trip out to Homestead Gardens yesterday and had a great time! Mimi & Grampy joined us there - added bonus! We took the hayride over the llama barn and the boys really enjoyed seeing all of the llamas. It was a beautiful day (more like summer than fall) and a fun day to be outdoors. Fall is officially here!

Cole is really into pumpkins this year. He wanted to touch every single one that we passed by. Halloween might just be a hit this year! This was the best photo we could get of the two of them together, both looking in the same direction...

Happy Fall!

Do it for Calvin

Stillbirth Awareness & Research Act

I support H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act and you should too! Take a few extra minutes to read this post and then get in gear and take action.

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. Each year that I have had my blog, I have recognized this special day, and for years prior to the blogs inception.

More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism. Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but good research requires good data.

H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.

On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.

Action Steps:
Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately. GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word

Step 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community. GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.

Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."

There is another cause that goes along with this that is also near and dear to my heart. My kids were born at 28 weeks (12 weeks early) due to the stillbirth of their brother, Calvin. Luckily, they had the chance at life, and survived. There are many families out there that are not so lucky. There isn't much worse in life than leaving the hospital without your child. Premature birth, especially with 'multiples' is too common. Despite bedrest and doctors best practice, there are too many babies born early who do not make it.

More infants in the US die today because of prematurity, more than any other cause. The March of Dimes is urging the federal government to support prematurity related research. You can click HERE to support this research incentive. We hope you will take an extra few minutes to take a look - and better yet, put this on your blog or website and urge everyone you know to do the same.

I thank you, and so does my family! I will remind you again on October 15th.

Foreshadowing?

He may be small now, but he aspires to be BIG! Cole is absolutely mesmerized by basketball hoops. Wherever we are, if there is a hoop around, we MUST go see it. And he's perfectly fine standing and staring at it - for a LONG TIME! It's incredible. He wakes up in the morning and asks to go see a basketball hoop - we get in the car and he wants to go see a basketball hoop - we pass one on the road and he just about leaps out of his car seat and squeals with delight. When we have to leave the 'hoop', it's a full on temper tantrum with real tears...


Someday, perhaps he'll be big enough to make a basket for real. Until then, he will just stare at it and dream big! I can't wait to see him make his first REAL basket someday.

Birds & Bees

I didn't realize they did this at such a young age? Are we going to have to have "that talk" sooner than we think? I'm not sure who is after who here...but I do know, they sure love Lizzie!

Jellystone was a hit!

We had a fantastic weekend with Yogi! This will be short because we're exhausted - but in a very good way. The kids had a great time and so did we. Here are a few snaps to summarize the weekend...it was quite the Halloween extravaganza - a great way to get in the spooky spirit!





Our cabin was perfect for us - two small bedrooms and a kitchen area. It started out a little rough with JD having a fever on the way out the door Friday but by Saturday am, he was good as new. The weather was fantastic and we enjoyed walking around the park looking at all of the Halloween decorations. The month of October there is filled with Halloween weekends - and the people that go there go all out on the decorations. Most campsites were decorated with lights and spooky stuff - they were trying to win the weekend award for the best decorations. There was a late night haunted trail for big kids and adults too, along with all of the kids activities that ran all day long. Yogi, Cindy Bear and Boo Boo were all over the park all day which was fun for all of the little ones. We're already booked for next year - it was THAT good!

Off to buy our little pumpkins some pumpkins!