A special surprise for Mommy!

Well, I went for my mid-afternoon visit today and the nurse asked if I wanted to hold JD! I think I leapt out of my wheelchair! They put me in a rocker right next to his isolete and I held him for about an hour - it was such a wonderful feeling! We did "Kangaroo-Care" which is skin to skin contact ~ he was down inside my robe and nightie, right on my skin. He was amazingly calm and went right into a deep sleep - it was amazing.

We think he might be a thumb sucker already - he's working on getting that thumb in his mouth all of the time. I can't wait for tomorrow to hold him again. Hopefully Cole will be shortly behind him and we'll get to hold him soon too. I hated to leave him out - that made me sad. But he's not quite ready to be off of his ventilator yet so until that happens, he's crib bound.

Here's our first photo of us being reunited since birth!

Day #3 NICU

Just a quick update. The boys are hanging in there and doing well. JD has a BIG day today as he has come off of the ventilator! We hope that this will be a permanent condition but as we all know, things can change quickly. For now, we are so happy to see him progressing so well. Both babies are spending some time at "the beach" under the billirubin lights for slight jaundice, which is very normal for preemies.

Baby Cole is hanging in there too - experiencing a few minor issues, all of which are very normal. Since he was the smaller of the two and the other twin, there are some things that he is experiencing that JD is not. But all in all, the issues are minor for now so we continue to be hopeful that he fights right through these little bumps along the way.

A few more pics to share. Thanks for your continued prayers and well wishes - we'll continue one day at a time but remain optimistic that our little guys are going to pull through just fine. I'm recovering well - boy, these C-sections don't warrant easy recovery but I know in a few more days I'll be back on my feet. I get to walk or wheel down to see the boys a couple of times a day so that is enough to keep me going for sure! Daddy is doing well too - he continues to work right now, in between hours spent here at the hospital. We'll both be glad when we get home on Saturday!

JD's new "tubeless" look!



Cole at the "blue" beach - with his first pacifier!

A few pics of the boys...more to come soon

They're here!

Just a quick post - many of you may have heard by now;
Our boys blessed us early this morning with their arrival! My early morning daily sono showed that Baby A had gone to heaven so that triggered an emergency c-section; a little whirlwind but all went pretty well. Here are the stats:

Nicholas Bradley was born at 7:57 am - he was 2lb 1oz, 12" long
Joseph David was born at 7:57 too - he was 2lb 5oz, 13.5" long
And Calvin Gerard was stillborn at 7:58 at 1lb, 9oz, not sure of the length on him.

We have loads of pictures so we'll post some as soon as possible. I was able to get out of bed this evening to go to NICU to visit - they are so handsome! Right now both are intubated but we're hoping that will only be needed for a short time. We held baby Calvin for a while this afternoon to say goodbye. It was sad but he was truly our miracle baby!

We are both beaming! Keep the prayers coming, we've got 6-8 weeks here in NICU before they will be big enough to come home. Love to all & thanks for your well wishes, support & prayers!

28 Week Photo

Thank goodness for stretchy skin. Here's a little trivia: my nurse told me that the human body has over ONE MILE of skin when it's stretched out. Can you imagine that? No wonder the belly seems to have endless stretching ability!

We made it! 28 Weeks!

I almost can't believe we made it this far. 28 WEEKS. It's a much more emotional day than I anticipated. We pushed, and pushed and hoped and prayed to get to this point and now we're here - I can't help but be overwhelmed with so many emotions. I'm thankful, I'm relieved, I'm scared, I'm anxious...what next? And what will determine delivery at this point? Things are starting to move along on their own I think now. I am contracting more and they are a bit more intense; my cervix has dilated another cm; my blood pressure is up a bit. All of these things are tell tale signs I think that we're getting closer now.

My doctor returned today and was in bright and early to scan the boys. Babies B&C are still looking fantastic; Baby A's heart rate was the same still, but he's not moving much now and he has not grown much, if at all, over the last 8 days. We're going to continue to watch him very closely; that could be the deciding factor for delivery as well. There are just so many unknowns right now.

The boys continue to get bigger every minute - it's amazing how much my belly has grown in the last few days. We'll try to get another picture this week. Baby B has decided that my bladder makes for a nice pillow - how convenient huh? Something that most of you Mom's have experienced at some point I'm sure.

It will be interesting to see what comes next. It's day to day, and each additional day is a blessing, as we've always said. Happy 28 week "in utero" day boys!

Sunday

Just a quickie ~ all is good today. Wish I had something inspiring to write but boredom has set in & my imagination is kaput. For you wives involved in the awesome gift certificate gift that was given to C. last night by all of the guys, thank you so, so much! I don't know that any of your guys read this blog but if you do, C. and I appreciate your kindness so much & can't wait to use them.

Looking forward to tomorrow - my doctor is back, our boys have an important birthday (well, I guess it's not a BIRTHday, I'll call it an in utero day!) and it's Monday! Love to all - hope everyone is well and life is good.

Big Feet, Big Appetites!

The boys look good today! We just ate breakfast, which they seem to love. We've got some big appetites going on in there I think. They go nuts after I eat. They also have really big feet - another story for later...but if my ribs could talk, they would certainly attest!

The peri came back again yesterday and gave me much the same report as his partner the day before. Good fluid around babies B&C and both are about 2 lbs. now, maybe a bit bigger. The doctor this morning got a good picture of Baby A - sometimes that is really hard depending on the positioning. It was good to see my little fighter so clearly today; his heartbeat beating away. Can't help but wonder how this little one is hanging on - the peri said again yesterday that they really don't understand how he's doing it; my pregnancy seems to be somewhat of an anomaly, considering all of the different complications we've had, yet we're still here.

I can't remember if I already posted this but the latest "plan" is that they will take the babies at 32 weeks if I don't deliver before that time. If something happens to Baby A before that time (even a slowed heartrate), we will deliver. So, that said, we're coming down the home stretch here. Now we just hope and pray that some of the babies currently in NICU will be well enough to go home soon and will open up a few beds for us!

My UTI is much better this morning - I'll spare you the details but got some immediate relief last night after spending several hours in pain and was able to get a decent nights sleep. Poor Chuck was kept up most of the night by a "screamer" next door who was trying to deliver a baby but I apparently slept right through it. It's not often we hear that since our room is at the end of the hall kind of off the beaten path; glad I didn't hear it frankly.

Today's a shower day so I'll be able to get back into my clothes again. I had to put a hospital gown on again yesterday due to the chaos with the catheter etc. so it will be nice to get dressed again. Until tomorrow - enjoy the weekend gang.

Great Website - Just tkes a minute!

A friend sent this site to me today and I jut thought it was a nice thing to pass along.

If you go to this web site, www.letssaythanks.com, you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services.

How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!

This is a great site.
Please send a card.
It is FREE and it only takes a second.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them...

BABY "D"

Another week gone by - and another weekend upon us. The weeks just seem to fly on by! Doing pretty well today; a bit of a rough start but we're all good now. I had a feeling I was brewing another urinary tract infection for the last couple of days but of course, before they can treat it, they have to have it cultured. The culture came back positive so I started more antibiotics today. It was a bit of a rough night since the infection and bladder spasms got worse, causing some contractions. But by this morning, I had no "output" and a large (and I mean large) bump protruding from my lower abdomen, which was quickly termed "Baby D" by my OB. That bump was my bladder. Ha, ha right? Easy for him to laugh! They ended up cathetarizing me again which gave some immediate relief and now all is good again. I think I might be the only person I know that actually doesn't mind a cathetar too much ~ I equate it with such relief that it really doesn't seem to bother me, aside from the fact that I can't get up out of bed too much when I have it. I'll keep it until I'm sure the meds are taking effect - I don't want any more episodes like this morning! Anyway, enough of those gory details. Hopefully within 24 hours the medicine will start to kick in and kill the infection FOR GOOD!

After that fiasco, we looked at the babies and they are doing well again today. My cervix was checked again for the first time in about 5 days and it remains unchanged. All good news!

Not much on the agenda this weekend. Just hoping for a fast weekend as they seem to drag a bit. Can't believe it's almost the last summer weekend - school starts next week and then Labor Day is here. It's almost September already; July and August seem to be a bit of a blur. Wonder why?

YAY - 2 pounds and still growing!

Finally saw the perinatologist today (better late than never) and it looks like Baby C is measuring about 2lbs, 1 oz and Baby B is measuring 1lb, 15 oz! What a great milestone. Baby A is still hanging in there, with a strong heartbeat. He's still falling behind in growth but has not waned at all in strength. What a fighter he is.

I gained 4 lbs. in the last week so that is also a good sign - never thought I would be "happy" to gain weight but this is the first week since I've been here that I've actually put on weight of any measurable amount. My belly has grown more obviously this week too - all good news.

Got to see Emily the other day for a few minutes. I've included some photos below. Not great pictures but they capture the moment. She's not a lap baby anymore since she's almost walking so it was hard to capture a good photo of all of us. Toby was a great wheelchair driver and it was a fun, quick visit.





Thanks to ALL for your continued support, love, prayers, cards and well wishes. My little wall gallery grows every day and it always makes me smile. Thank goodness for special friends and family ~ I hope I have a chance to repay you all someday, in some way. Your kindness overwhelms me at times.

Good Ole' Dr. Seuss

So, some of you have probably seen the book "Oh Baby, the Places You'll Go" right? And some of you may have even seen the mini version that is made to read to the babies in utero. My friend Lauri just lent it to me the other night and it's awesome! And so much fun to read to the babies! My Aunt De sent me another book a few weeks ago - Winken, Blinken and Nod, which is also so much fun to read. I must admit though, emotionally it's a bit hard to read to these guys for some reason. I cry through half of the book. Especially the last line, that says "It's a scrumptulous world and it's ready to greet you, and as for myself, I can't wait to meet you". In true Dr. Seuss style. So when you wonder what I'm doing here during the day, you can get a visual of me blubbering in bed while trying to read to my babies. But seriously, it's a fun thing to do - and I just know that they like it! It's now part of my daily regimen. I even ordered my own copy from Amazon.com so I can get this copy back to the rightful owner, Lizzie and Carter who graciously lent it to me.

The babies are doing well today; everyone looks good. The babies are up in my rib cage today for some reason - hopefully they will drop back down to their usual positions here shortly. Not sure what is so exciting today to make them move around so much but my gut says it's just that they are little boys and can't sit still. They get that from their father of course!

It's another wheelchair day - and it's beautiful outside. Just don't know that I'll take a ride since I'm still a bit scared to do too much activity. We're so close to our next goal and I just don't want to screw this up. We'll see. C. is coming for the afternoon today and then Mom & Dad are bringing up dinner. Hoping for not much more excitement than that - makes for a smooth day!

Another Day!

Not much to report today ~ boy, I need to start thinking of some more fun topics don't I? Boys checked out fine today; had a good nights sleep and will be getting cleaned up today - yay!

Took a wheelchair ride yesterday and got to see Emily ~ so fun! Toby (my brother for those of you who don't know him) wheeled me down from my room for about 20 minutes and it felt good to get out for a bit. We have some pictures that I'll post later once I receive them.

I had a special guest sleep over with me last night. Lauri came for a slumber party - thanks for deserting your family for the night to stay with me Laur! Hope your back is feeling OK today from sleeping on the back breaker couch...

Going to do my physical therapy exercises before lunch comes. Hoping for another quiet day and night! Here's a whopper for ya...picture does it NO justice. It feels so much bigger than it looks! Here we are at 27 weeks.

Time warp at 27 weeks

I feel like I'm in a time warp. I just looked at a calendar yesterday and I've been on bedrest for 8 weeks now - going on my 9th week since I was sidelined with my cervix problem. One week in the hospital, three weeks at home and now I'm starting on my 5th week in the hospital this time around - and I thought the 5 days I was in the hospital the first time was a long time! WOW. When I look at the big picture, I can't believe it's been that long - on a daily basis, time seems to crawl though. I'm happy that it's Monday again ~ this weekend was pretty boring...but we're still hanging in so really can't complain too much.

All looked great this am with the kids. Had kind of a restless nights sleep though since it's getting more uncomfortable to sleep during the night. I need to do some better propping with pillows to support this giant belly. Perhaps I can nap today at some point. I felt really tired yesterday and think maybe the babies were going through a little growth spurt and it's zapping my energy. I might get to see Emily (my little niece) this week again - instead of trying to bargain to get her up here to my room, I think I'm going to visit with her for a few minutes downstairs when I take my wheelchair ride; it will be quick but better than not seeing her. It's a good way to be able to see kids since they can't come up to my room.

I spent some time this weekend making a list of necessities for bedresters ~ I sure hope I don't have occasion to use it for anyone else, but just in case, I started making a list of things that have made life a bit easier here. The small things make such a difference. That said, if any of you blog readers ever come across someone who goes on bedrest for any length of time, please never hesitate to tell them to contact me. Or you contact me and I can tell you how to help them. Life gets a little different perspective from a bed - especially when you're not sure how long it will last. I just hope that I can help someone else someday from my recent experiences. I wish I had done differently for those who I know had this experience before I did ~ but live and learn.

One more week until 28 weeks - 7 days and counting!

Boys are behavin'

All looked good this a.m. at the early morning sonogram. Not much else to report - always a good thing!

So, yesterday my pediatrician stopped by again. I just can't get over what a compassionate guy he is. My nurse yesterday happened to be sitting with me when he stopped in and she also uses him for her two girls. She RAVED about him. Funny how things happen isn't it? Just shows that women have an intuition about these things ~ always best to go with your gut. Feeling very fortunate that I came across him early on since he doesn't take any new patients except for new babies.

Off to eat my breakfast.

Saturday - 26 & 5

Not much new here today - everything is bumping along well and the same. Might get a wheelchair ride today which would be the highlight of my day. It's pretty hot and muggy out so probably won't go outside for long but just to ride around the hospital outside of my room will be a treat.

The boys look good today. Hope the weekend goes fast - usually they are much slower than during the week. Having a couple visitors today so hopefully that will make the day pass quickly! We're approaching the 27 week mark, going into the 28th week. On Monday it will be 4 weeks since I arrived. Nobody here can believe we're still here and hanging on.

Yesterday a fellow triplet Mom stopped by that I had spoken to a few times before I came to the hospital. She had triplet boys about 3 months ago; there was a story in the local paper back in May when her boys were born and her story was identical to mine ~ we have/had the exact same doctors (fertility & OB) so she was great to talk to. She had a set of identicals and one fraternal, just like we have. She and I got hooked up through the local MOM's group (Mothers of Multiples, Annapolis) and she and a few other girls have been fantastic; they have been trying to keep up with my progress and have been so supportive. Anyway, apparently there is a tradition out there among the triplet Mom's who go on bedrest - they bring each other Ben & Jerry's ice cream! She walked in yesterday with two pints of B&J and two B&J ice cream bars - how awesome is that? She was on her way over to the NICU to drop some of her boys preemie clothes that they have outgrown so she made a pitstop at my room. It was the first time we had met in person and she was such a gem. Needless to say, we all pigged out on pizza and Ben & Jerry's last night ~ the boys loved it!

My handsome boys are looking good

The boys are looking extra handsome today ~ they are getting bigger by the day. But today was the first time that I could subjectively really tell that Baby A is much smaller. He's still growing but very slowly and not enough. His heart continues to beat at the same rate, nice and strong. It sounds like my doctors are thinking 32 weeks will be the magic delivery week, assuming I can make it until then (which I think I can). This is based on several things, but mainly because the bigger they get, the faster Baby B can be affected if Baby A dies in utero. They don't want to take any chances on anything further happening once we get to 32 weeks since the babies should be much stronger by then and they have an excellent chance at being ok when they are born at 32 weeks. Knowing this, I do feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

My regular OB scanned me today but he's out of here this afternoon for vacay. So for the next 10 days, I have to hold on tight, at least until he gets back from vacation. Only 10 more days until 28 weeks - then we'll set our next milestone.

The deformity going on on the outside of my belly when these little guys move around is hilarious. Just a few days ago, I started getting two big lumps, one on top left side of my belly and one at the bottom center. That would be Baby B & C, poking out. It's very odd looking; these boys have some big noggins! Lord knows where they got that since C. and I have the smallest heads ever recorded. God willing they got a larger size head from the Leach side of the family so they don't spend their lives wearing child size hats! They also got their Daddy's big feet - lord knows my bladder can attest to that! Happy Friday to all - until tomorrow...

Reflections: There's always someone worse off

Which is really pretty sad when you think about it. But do you know how I know this? Just stay home (or in the hospital) for any extended period of time and watch Dr. Phil and Oprah on a daily basis. Sure, it sounds like fun. And I used to LOVE when I could be home and catch Oprah. Boy, that novelty has worn off.

From what I have seen over the last few weeks on these shows, we've got it GOOD! There are so many people in this country with such horrible troubles. Particularly some of Dr. Phil's guests. Now, I do happen to like Dr. Phil's style of dealing with people - he's good. But good grief, the people he has on there are so troubled and can't seem to work any of it out!

I've seen families that steal money from each other and make each other bankrupt, men who were married to 6 other women, families whose kids have left home and shacked up with gypsies (at 16 years old), Mom's who make their 4 year olds into beauty queens (BTW, how weird is this JonBenet thing?), men who tell their wives they are not "hot" enough, men and women who consistently cheat on their spouses, a lady who was over 750 pounds, people with terminal illness, people with handicapped children...I mean, the list goes on! And then there's Oprah, with much the same kind of stuff. Understanding that both Dr. Phil and Oprah do a great deal to help these people and get their lives back on track, it's so sad to me that there are so many troubled people out there. And their families are so screwed up. Watching this stuff each day sure makes me thankful for all that we have. It's sad that watching the plight of less fortunate people is so intriguing to the general public - let me tell you, it gets old day in and day out. But that's what makes news and good tv - apparently. I guess many people watch these shows and subconsciously, it makes them feel better about whatever might be going on in their own lives. Afterall, who wants to hear about someone that has it all and loves their life? That's no fun is it? Frankly, I wish the shows were more upbeat;

Well, there is someone on tv that does that; and her name is Ellen. She's awesome. Her show is always upbeat and fun - she even had my boy Bon Jovi on two days ago. My poor kids in this belly of mine were tortured with my singing as I laid in bed and sang along. She loves life and makes sure that her show is full of laughs. Now THAT is refreshing.

That said, my tv remains on each day - if nothing else, for background noise. It's getting harder and harder to watch those shows that I used to enjoy watching. You can only take so much doom and gloom. I'm almost embarrassed that I enjoyed watching them so much at one time. Just when you think you have it bad, turn on your tv. There always seems to be somebody out there who is struggling and having a harder time. Sad but true.

Emotional Prep

I believe in miracles. But I don't count on them. Any time you see a miracle, it's a welcome surprise and restoration of faith that they really can happen. That said, I've been working toward trying to prepare emotionally for the loss of one of the babies. The hospital has provided us with some wonderful materials on losing a multiple. Apparently it is VERY common, especially with all of the multiple births these days. In our situation, with a set of identical twins, it's even more common than fraternal twin situations.

We were warned and educated when we first got pregnant on the risks involved. The risk was higher with the identical twins than the fraternal baby. But we decided to go for it - with eyes wide open. Hoping and praying that all would be OK. And if it wasn't OK, we knew we could deal with whatever came our way.

One of the interesting things that the literature has said is that even though you may lose a baby and end up with two, you still carried triplets. And the living babies are still part of triplets, they are not twins. They will always be triplets. The memory of the lost baby will always be there; and it's important to acknowledge and remember that. They encourage you to celebrate the milestones for the lost baby, just as you do for the living babies (birthdays etc.). Although I have lost three other babies prior to this pregnancy, this one will obviously be a great deal different since I carried him for so long, alive.

The hospital social worker has been here a few times, at my request, to talk about options and all of the emotions that I'm feeling. One of the hardest things once the babies come is the extreme joy and the extreme sadness at the same time. It's a hard position to be in because you have two other babies to stay strong for, yet you mourn the loss of the third. And it will be important to make sure that his brothers know all about him too. One of the babies would have had an identical twin - I can imagine that will be strange for Baby B at some point in his life.

As hard as this is, my emotions are tempered by the fact that I know I need to stay strong for these little guys so they can last as long as possible in utero. Some things you can prepare for, and some things you can't. I think C. and I have done all of the preparing that we can for now - it will probably be much harder than we think but that is something that will just have to come when it's time. We'll get through, as we have in the past. Thank God we have each other and such a wonderful support system in our families and friends. I think we both are relieved that we have some time to talk about it and discuss things ~ we are not going to be blindsided. Now we just continue to pray for the health of as many of them as are meant to be on this earth and that is the best that we can do.

Being the realist that I am, I'm getting myself prepared but not discounting that miracles CAN happen. My heart hurts some days over it; but healing will come. It's just going to take time. It will always be THE JOURNEY OF THREE. And I hope that the boys will always know of the ultimate gift that their brother gave to them early in life.

All is well in 215

Another good day so far today. OB was in today for his usual daily scan and the babies are looking good. My cervix is unchanged so that is great too. I'm disappointed that I did not see the perinatologist yesterday though ~ I thought they were going to be monitoring me twice a week but I haven't seen them since last Friday. They are super busy in their office so I'm sure they just haven't had the time to get over here. Hopefully I'll see them tomorrow for sure.

My OB is leaving for vacation for 10 days tomorrow so one of his partners will be taking over my care for that time. Not worried though - his partner has been checking in on me regularly as well and is very familiar with all that we have going on. He came in this morning with Dr. H to get the latest low down and see the sonogram so he knows what is "normal" right now etc. I made Dr. H a deal that I would still be here when he returns on the 27th so I hope I can come through! That puts me at 28 weeks which is our next milestone. We can do it!

It never ceases to amaze me how small the world is. One of my friends emailed me the other day and was talking to another friend of hers. It happens that her friends sister in law is right next door to me. So, we've hooked up by email. It's nice to keep in touch with someone who is in my same boat. We're about 4 days apart with our due dates and both of us have been on bedrest for many weeks. We have different issues but nonetheless, it's kind of fun to have an email buddy. Even if it's just to say hello each day.

Might be able to take a short wheelchair ride today if time allows the nurses to take me out. Or maybe Mom can take me. We'll see. Still a bit nervous about that but with the weather so nice, feel like I should take advantage of the opportunity.

I had a surprise visitor two days ago that was really pretty awesome. The morning before I was admitted to the hospital at 19 weeks, I had an appointment with a potential pediatrician for the kids. I met with three different ped's, trying to decide who to use. Well, I decided on one but had not notified the doctor yet that we had selected him. I gave his office a call on Monday to let him know, and also told his receptionist I was already in the hospital as well as the situation with Baby A. I didn't want the doc to be confused when he got the phone call that the babies had arrived. The doctor called me back that evening and was incredibly supportive and talked to me for a bit about what has been going on. He asked lots of questions and took time to learn about my situation with the triplets. On Tuesday, there was a knock at my door and low and behold, it was Dr. G. He was doing rounds up here and popped his head in to say hello. He stayed for a few minutes and talked to me about the babies, getting more information; and then gave me a little pep talk about being on bedrest etc. Needless to say, I'm very happy with my choice in pediatricians. I had a good feeling when I was in his office that we belonged there - I think I definitely made the right choice! Very reassuring.

Can't believe school is starting in the next week or two. Remembering back to how much fun the first day of school was is fun - and by this time, we were all at daily practice for our respective sports - August 15 was the magic day. The summer seems to be coming to a quick close - the start of school is always such an annual end of summer marker, as Labor Day rolls in and the pools close for the season. It's kind of odd watching the season change from my hospital window. It gets dark earlier now and the sun positioning has changed, just since I've been here the last 4 weeks. It's an odd feeling not knowing when I will be going home - obviously the longer I can stay, the better for the babies. But the unknown is an odd existence. Looking back it's hard to believe I've been here almost 4 weeks already. Some days go fast, some days go a little slower. But overall, the time has passed pretty fast. Let's hope it continues to be the same, or even faster in the coming weeks. I'm getting anxious to meet these little guys!

26 & 2

Babies are looking good today. It's a shower day so can't wait to get cleaned up. Hoping to see Perinatologist later this evening so will post an update later. Hopefully it will be status quo and a same old, same old post. Remember, we like boring!

UPDATE:
Didn't want anyone to worry - Dr. S (peri) didn't come in tonight as we hoped. So don't have any news. Maybe tomorrow. G'Night.

Some might call it the "back breaker"

...particularly Mom & C. Here is the TINY couch that the two of them have been sleeping on, more nights than not. The one side pulls out and those back cushions fit on it to make it slightly longer. But where the pull out part meets the real couch, there's quite a hump that hits the back right in the WRONG place. We acquired two big blue egg crate cushions that apparently help a bit but it's not your plush pillow top mattress, that is for sure!



What they do for love and support for this big ole' pregnant lady. More than once I wish I could have offered them my bed and I stay on the couch. But I know that wouldn't have gone over well with the nurses. C. props his head up on one end and his feet hang over the other end, even when it's pulled out.

I will add however that despite his complaints and apparent bad back, he stayed here last Friday night (as he usually does on the weekends) and then played his career round of golf on Saturday ~ I tried to tell him it might be his "lucky" couch but he didn't quite buy it. A shout out to both Mom & C for being such troopers and staying with me occasionally. It's so comforting to have someone here, some of the time! Love you guys.

More later.

My very own gallery

So, we took some photos of my "gallery" in my room. Both to share with my readers, and for posterity for me. I don’t ever want to forget the kindness by everyone during this difficult time for our family. Cards come daily and I can’t even tell you how they brighten my day.



My “ART” corner includes pictures done by the Kelly family which are so bright and cheerful. There is also a picture from my adorable Godson Carter; it’s Dora the Explorer with a note on it from Carter & Baby Lizzie (written by Momma Orders of course). Oh, and we can’t forget the “velvet Elvis” card too. My cousin Jane sent a hilarious Elvis card saying “no room is complete without a velvet Elvis”. Only a Hodgdon would be so clever. I had lots of flowers too but most have run their course. There are a couple still hanging on – and they brighten my room so much.



I have hung up some of my favorite pictures of family & have a few in frames too; so I always feel surrounded by my support system. Looking out from my bed makes me smile now. Despite the fact that the cards sometimes fall off of the wall because the tape sucks (irritating), Mom, Chuck and my nurses continue to hang them back up each day. All of this stuff will go into a memory box someday when I get home – so that I never forget this part of our journey. Thanks for keeping me smiling gang – you don’t know how much you mean to me!!!

P.S. – I added a photo back on my “TEDS” entry – couldn’t resist. Pretty sexy eh?

HICCUPS!

Babies look great today; lots of hiccups (which makes my entire body convulse at the time) and kicking & flipping. It looks like they have shifted position slightly; I think they are trying to find their best position for the remainder of the pregnancy because they are quickly running out of room. Baby C is on my left side, breech, with his head in my ribs. Baby B is head down, more in the center of my body, with his feet in my ribs (aka, kicking Baby C in the head). And Baby A is head down LOW on my right side, getting a little squished by the other two. He’s kind of laying transverse I think. It looked like he had some fluid around him today, which is a good thing to help him continue to live. Every doc seems to have his own view of the fluid level though so I take each comment with a grain of salt. No false hope here but at least he is continuing to hold on so I can stay pregnant.

My belly is very lopsided right now since Baby C is taking up the length of my left side. I usually am laying on my left side since it’s so much more comfortable so when I’m lying down, the whole belly flops to the left. It’s very funny looking. When I stand up, it evens out though and isn’t quite so out of proportion. You can see from this picture that it’s lopsided. Usually everyone gets quite a kick out of this when they see me laying flat.



Here we go for another day. Breakfast just arrived. Yum, hospital food. Dad stopped by this a.m. on his way to work & brought me a crumb cake from Starbucks ~ better than hospital French toast any day!

IT'S A MILESTONE DAY

26 WEEKS TODAY!

That is HUGE for us. Thank you for all of your encouragement, prayers, kindness and faith in us that we could do it. I could never have made it without all of your messages and knowing that you were behind us all the way. We'll continue to be strong and get at least 2 more weeks out of this. You guys are awesome!!! Each and every one of you!

Babies looked great this morning and my cervix is holding strong and unchanged. Dr. H called my cervix "fascinating", as he's impressed that it is not opening or thinning yet. Can't say I've ever had a compliment like that before but I'll take it! It's another good news day for us.

There IS life outside of Room 215!

Well, a big thanks goes out to one of my fav nurses, Cathy, for taking me for a short wheelchair ride tonight. As nervous as I was, it was very rejuvinating to be outside of these four walls for a few minutes! It is a beautiful night outside and although the sun was already down, just to smell fresh air was awesome. We only ventured out for about 10-15 minutes; that's a start~ it was definitely good for the soul.

Thanks Cath - without your encouragement, I would have never gone!!! G'Night all.

Trying to keep the spirits up

Well yes, boring is good I suppose. But today, it’s really getting to me. It’s a beautiful day outside and my doctor wrote an order for me to go for a “wheelchair ride” and sit outside for 20 minutes. But I’m too scared. As much as I would like a breath of fresh air – at what expense? I wish I had more guts; but I’ll never forgive myself if bumping along in a wheelchair sent me into labor. Plus, I feel silly riding down there in a hospital gown; with these silly socks on. I dunno, maybe I’ll try it later this week if things continue to go well. I’m sure it would lift my spirits a bit but I’m a chicken.

So, for now, just trying to busy myself for the day. Not too much on tv on Sunday’s – especially in the summer. But kinda looking forward to the Redskins game tonight. Can you believe it’s football season already? Boy, the time has really alluded me.

I was getting ready to do my physical therapy exercises and I dropped the list of exercises and it went under my bed. Darn it. Have to wait until someone comes back in to get it for me. Physical therapy has been really great – they gave me about 10 exercises to do each day and they have really helped me to keep some of my strength up. I have a breathing spirometer which I am supposed to use several times per day which keeps my lung capacity up. It’s this tube that you inhale into to make a little lever thingy go up as far as you can. Darn thing looks easy but it’s a challenge! I finally this weekend got back up to the level I was on when I first came here. That magnesium really set me back like 2 weeks. Amazing how the body fatigues by doing nothing!

I also get a free massage twice per week. It’s just 10 minutes or so but wow, does it feel good. My body hasn’t really been too sore but occasionally I get that little crick in my neck or back from typing on my computer while lying down and it feels good to get it worked out. Monday’s and Thursdays I have that to look forward to!

For some reason, the L&D dept here has been slammed over the last 2 weeks. It’s uncanny how many babies are being born here! It’s kinda funny too because it wasn’t like we had a big snow storm or anything back in Dec/January when all of these babies were conceived. The only reason I bring it up is that all of my nurses are saying how burned out they are getting. Being an antepartum patient (that’s what they call us gals that are here trying to keep the babies in a bit longer), we don’t need too much attention so I only really see my nurses a few times a day. That is a good thing – but it gets lonely if nobody else is visiting at the time. I’ve enjoyed so many of the nurses over the last 2 weeks and it’s been fun getting to know them. They are just extra busy these days so they pop in for a second or two to check in and that’s about it. I get meds at 10 & 12 during the day and at 6, 10 and 12 pm during the night. Other than that, they put me on the contraction monitor for 30 minutes per shift and that is the extent of my care at the moment. Hopefully we’ll be able to hold this regimen for a while longer.

Tomorrow we hit 26 weeks – into the start of our 27th week – only 14 more days until 28 weeks! Until tomorrow...

Weekend Ramblings

We got to see the perinatologist last evening and everything seems to be going very well still. Babies B&C are doing great ~ their hearts and amniotic fluid look awesome. Baby A is hanging in there too - h/b is still good and he's holding strong. My anti-labor medication was cut in half yesterday so hoping for no change in contractions; so far so good. C. spent the night here the last two nights with me which was comforting. That is one of the things I miss the most - just sleeping in the same bed with my hubby. Of course, his back is shot from the couch - he left early for a tee time and hobbled out of the room half bent over. I told him, it's nothing a few practice golf swings won't cure :)

I just had my morning sonogram and nothing changed overnight. Everyone is hanging in there this morning. My cervix is also unchanged - music to my ears.

Nothing new to report - which is a GOOD thing. We like boring these days!

So the highlight of my day today is there is a Laguna Beach Marathon on today on MTV, starting at 9:30. I know, so silly that I'm hooked but I can't wait to watch it all day! Saturday tv is not great so it will be something fun to watch. It's a shower day today so looking forward to getting cleaned up in a while.

Enjoy the weekend all - looks like another beautiful day outside! 25 and 5 today ~ Only 16 more days until 28 weeks!

Here's another picture from this week - don't mind the rash all over my arms - it's spider angiomas which hopefully will go away once I deliver. Just another one of those weird pregnancy symptoms.

TEDS

Well, those of you who have been hospitalized for any length of time are certainly familiar with what TEDS are. They are these knee high white stockings that patients have to wear to help with circulation - as I read the writing on my Ted, it actually says anti-embolism stocking. Needless to say, these things are VERY tight, bright white and are probably mostly made of polyester so they don't breathe AT ALL! Not to mention that they are so ugly, it's embarrassing. My vanity has gone straight out the window for now.

On my shower days, I usually leave my beloved Teds off for the afternoon but a nurse always catches me and makes me put them back on before I go to sleep at night. Well, the other night, my nurse told me I needed to put them back on; obviously this is not something I can do myself at this point - I cannot bend over at all anymore so putting these on myself is utterly impossible. She then told me that she could not do it because she has arthritis so bad in her hands; she looked over at the couch and said "Dad, we need your help over here". As C. looked up, he looked like a deer in the headlights. Some of you may know about C.'s extreme dislike (I don't really think there is a man out there that likes the image of his wife in knee highs) for knee high stockings; well, it doesn't get much worse than these Teds. They are bright white so they don't even blend with your skin like the "nudes" we like so much. Since we've been married, I've been banned from even owning a pair of knee highs - must have something to do with his childhood memories or something. Of all things for me to have to wear here, he's mortified when he sees them.

Anyway, C. was such a trooper - he actually got up and helped put them on me. I wish we had a camera for this event; although I'm sure that is a vision ingrained in his brain forever and photos are unnecessary; along with all of the other images of me over the last few weeks that I'm certain he would rather forget forever. I wish there was some sort of amnesia drug that I could give him to make him forget all of these "less than sexy" images that he must have of me. The only place he sees me is in bed or on the bedside commode. Nice.

Anyway, I think I'll have to keep a pair of these Teds once we leave here, just for posterity. If nothing else, I'll be able to bribe C. with them if I need him to do something and he refuses - the simple threat of putting my Teds back on would probably scare him into doing anything I needed!

As an aside, the boys looked good this morning. They are reducing my dosage of Indicin (the labor helper drug) so hopefully I'll be able to hold through that and not start contracting. Should see the perinatologist again this afternoon so if there is anything worthy to report, I'll post again later. In the meantime, TGIF. Weekend is almost here!

One more thing; a big congratulations to my fellow triplet Mom Jen who delivered her babies last night at 33 weeks! She was flown out via helicopter to Johns Hopkins since the NICU here is full ~ I got word this morning that her babies were born last night and everyone is doing well. She had two boys and a little girl - one baby at 4lb, 11 oz. and the other two at 4lb, 8oz. That is 13.5 lbs of baby she was carrying around, at just 33 weeks! Wishing their family the best - a short say in NICU and a speedy recovery for Mom!

Great Quote

I came across this quote first thing this morning and thought it was so fitting; it came from my "Positive Thoughts" daily email. It couldn't be more true about life in general for all of us.

It is good to have an end to journey toward,
but it is the journey that matters in the end.

Happy Hump Day

Well, I guess this marks the middle of the week; anticipating seeing the Perinatologist this evening so I'll post an update later tonight. Not much to report - just have a new found addiction to Sudoku - thanks for the tip girls! More later.

Update:
Another good peri report today on the boys; Baby B is about 1 lb, 11 oz now and Baby C is about 1 lb, 13 oz; Baby A still has a good heart rate but we noticed some thickening around his heart muscle which indicates that his heart is working overtime to keep himself alive. He’s doing a great job though – and although there still is not any hope for his ultimate survival, he’s doing his best to keep his brothers incubating a little bit longer. We did not get a size on him but it’s very obvious that he’s much smaller; the hope is just that he can hold out a while longer and not negatively affect Baby B in any way. The doctor believes that the cause of his demise is related to a placental issue; not a developmental issue or anything of that nature. He continues to grow, just at a very slow rate and not nearly enough to be able to sustain life.

One of the drugs that I am on to stave labor off (indicin) might be starting to have an effect on the amniotic fluid around both B&C, which is a known side effect of this medication. By going off of the indicin, the fluid will replenish itself within a few days so there is a possibility that I will go off of it for a short while in the coming days. We’re going to look again tomorrow or Friday and see if it still looks like the fluid level is decreasing and make a decision at that time. If I do go off of that medication, hopefully labor will not prevail, but if it does kick up again, there are a few other drugs that we can use to quiet things down again. Hopefully I won’t get “magged” again but even if I did, we know that it works and hopefully it would continue to buy us some more time.

My cervix is still holding pretty well but has dilated slightly (only to 1 cm) so I’m taking it extra easy trying to keep it from going any further for the moment. Not sure I have any control over that but mentally, it feels better if I try to stay as flat as can be.

Only 18 more days until the 28 week mark – at least we’re in the “teens” now and out of the 20’s. However, if the babies decided to come now, they have a very good chance at survival and a healthy life. Time is precious and we’ll keep holding as long as we can! Almost 25 & 3!

If you can't laugh at yourself, you'll go nuts!

I guess time makes things better and eventually, we can start to laugh and smile again. Sure, there are the tough days but there is usually some comic relief throughout the day. I live for those moments.

For instance, today was a “shower day” for me. Well, apparently I’ve been in denial about looking at myself in the mirror until this morning when my belly “caught my eye”. DEAR GOD – it’s huge! I’m used to looking at it laying down, covered up, and on my side. What a difference looking at it standing up, naked, head on. WOW. And here's the kicker, my boobs are now resting on my belly (sorry to the men who are reading this, earmuffs). Now, I know those of you who have had babies are shaking your head laughing at me – because I’m sure that everyone has this same realization at some point in their pregnancy. But it does appear to me that since I’ve been here, I’ve doubled in size. Yep, I have that waddle – and the slow moving turtle walk. And yes, I grunt every time I try to get up or lay down. Guess that is all normal. It’s just that I somehow missed two weeks of growth….

I haven’t much mentioned all of my awesome nurses – but they are really the ones that keep me going when I’m here alone most of the day. Hearing about their trials, tribulations and life’s frustrations makes you realize that life is just as normal as always out there and these awesome women are just working to make a living like the rest of us. But with lots of compassion and kindness. I haven’t come across a nurse yet that I didn’t like. Trust me, there are big thanks in store for all of them when we get out of here. You know how sometimes you wish you chose a different career path? Well, this experience has really made me think about wanting to be a L&D nurse. They rock!

Something kinda funny happened yesterday afternoon. There was an irregular shift change at 3pm yesterday and the very first nurse I had back when I got admitted to the hospital for the first time at 19 weeks was my nurse again. I had not had her since that first day when I was scared out of my wits to be here. She was awesome that day – and yesterday too. But I had to laugh at her yesterday.

She wanted to weigh me – aye! I have been getting weighed every day or two up to now due to some of the hypertension issues that they are trying to keep an eye on. By the way, I lost 12 pounds in water weight between Friday and Sunday last week – pretty amazing huh? I can now see my knees again…I’ve gained a total of about 26 pounds so far. Not so bad; but I’m sure it’s going to start packing on now since I’m rolling (literally) into my third trimester.

Anyway…back to my story. So, this cool bed that I am in is an air bed and blows up and deflates regularly to avoid bed sores etc. It also has a scale so that you can be weighed while laying down. I’m working on figuring out a way to get one of these at home when I make it back there eventually. So in an effort to try to zero out the scale on the bed to weigh me, she hit some “WRONG” button and the entire bed began to inflate; especially the lumbar part.

Now, picture this; I cannot lay on my back so I’m always on my side. As the bed begins to inflate, my body is contorting in a way that is physically impossible. I began yelling & laughing that it was inflating and the two of us proceeded to laugh so hard we could not even talk. She had no idea what button she hit to inflate it, therefore could not figure out how to deflate it. She ran out of the room in search of the “maintenance man” which is a particular problem since I am in a hospital gown and can’t exactly spring out of bed to let him figure out the problem. Not to mention these really stylish knee high TEDS that I have to wear to help my circulation. Ever seen them? Chuck really LOVES them – NOT! After about 10 minutes of laying in a terribly wrong position, I called her phone and suggested that we just unplug the bed and maybe it would reset itself. Thank god it worked – within a minute or so, the bed was back to it’s comfy old self. We got a good laugh out of it. And no maintenance man to try to hide from.

Got my IV out today which is a big step. They left the saline lock there so in case I need an IV, it’s there to use. But I’m disconnected from the other appendage that I’ve been trailing around with me, aka – the IV pole. It’s also known as the sleep interrupter since undoubtedly, every night it beeped for some reason – either needed to be refilled or I was lying on the IV line making the fluids cut off. I feel like a free woman – between that and the fact that I have my own nightie on today instead of a hospital gown, I feel liberated! Until tomorrow….

Some more vices of bedrest

First of all, babies looking good today ~ never thought I would be happy to be awaken with cold ultrasound gel on my belly at 6am but that is usually how my day starts these days. The on call doc usually comes clunking through the door with the big u/s machine around 6-6:30. And it's a welcome sight! That said, the boys are looking good; moving around NON-STOP which is a great thing. Hence, this might be my earliest post yet, at 6:42am since I can't seem to get back to sleep.

Well, my computer has become an added appendage to my body these days. And my latest vices are jigsaw puzzles and Solitaire. I'm going to have to go into recovery when I get out of here. I can't even believe the time that passes each day playing games! TV has not been too high on my list - day time TV after 11am leaves little to be desired actually.

I've read a fair amount of books which has been wonderful. Our local library allows me to reserve books on line so that I can just have one of my helpers go pick them up. Another modern day convenience that I love.

The nurses keep trying to get me to take up knitting; but I think it's a little too late for that. By the time I learn how to do anything worthwhile, the babies will come and it would probably be quite some time before I have the time to pick up the knitting needles again.

Another great suggestion was to start Christmas shopping on line - now that isn't such a bad idea. Why not get a jump start on that - lord knows that we're probably going to have a "gift certificate" Christmas this year anyway so might as well see if I can get some real gifts done in this down time.

They say that 21 days of anything becomes a habit. Well, we're just 6 days shy of 21 days in the hospital at this point. It's becoming habit now; slowly but surely. Time does seem to make things easier - but more than that, it's easier each day when I know that another day under the belt gives better odds to the babies. We're getting there. My next goal is 28 weeks - only 20 more days.

Anxiety 101 (again)

I think somewhere way back I already have a post titled Anxiety 101 - I believe it was back when we first started to believe that we had three babies on the way - and I was getting ready to register; I felt very overwhelmed way back then. Little did I know, I would find out the true meaning of anxiety.

Call me a wimp, a baby, or just plain spoiled - whatever you want. Up until last night, I had not spent the night here at the hospital alone. Someone, either Mom or C. was with me every night. It was long past time that I tried this overnight thing on my own. I'm 36 years old for crying out loud! It was just a very big step to take, considering in the past when things have gone haywire, it's been during the night. Well, we did it. The boys and I flew solo last night and did fine. Huge hurdle. I would be remiss if I didn't say that a good part of my feeling comfortable for the night was due to my awesome nurse, Cathy. She knew my anxiety level and took some extra time to be my 2nd Mom for the night - that in itself made things easier. Nurses are amazing people.

That's not to say that company overnight once in a while won't be nice - it gets a little lonely at times and to look over and see someone on the couch is comforting. But for now, I'll be helping to save the back's of Mom and C. and try this thing alone this week. I am ever thankful for the slumber party nights we have had - and lord knows, I would not have made it through these first 2 weeks without having company at night. I just know that the little couch is much less than comfy; particularly for a 6 foot tall man.

Thanks Mom for the many nights of chit chat and company - and C., as always, your presence here is most comforting too; I feel like a big girl today having done it on my own. I hope I can hold strong!

The doctor was in this morning and the babies all look good. No change. It's a miracle in the works, that is for sure. 25 Weeks and holding...

24 & 6 - Each day counts!

One more day until 25 weeks - at midnight tonight, we hit the 25 week mark. It's been said that every additional day after 24 weeks adds an additional 6% to the survival rate of the babies. I've been told a few different things about the survival rates at 24 weeks but overall, it's about 50% I think. That means, by adding 7 more days, at 6% per day, we're looking at some good odds for survival if the babies came in the next 24 hours.

The sonogram this morning looked good - the boys are growing well and I've noticed a LOT of increased movement over the last 24 hours. My cervix is slightly changed but according to Dr. H, nothing too significant so that is a good thing. My blood pressure is slightly elevated and has been creeping up very slowly over the last few days so they are doing some PIH (Pregnancy Induced Hypertension - aka Pre-eclampsia) testing today to be sure my liver enzymes are in check. This is VERY common with multiple pregnancies however a little early for the stage I am in, particularly on bedrest. That said, I'm very glad they are on top of this as some of you might remember that Mom & Dad lost twins due to pre-eclampsia (before I was born). There is a hereditary link there so we couldn't be happier that they are watching so closely.

Last night we had a little birthday party for Dad here in my room. We had pizza and ice cream cake - it was the most I have eaten since I've been here so it's good that my appetite is coming back. Perhaps that accounts for more baby movement as well - they are eating better! If it's any indication of how active these babies will be later in life, we're in trouble! Baby C is all over the place all of the time - I thought babies slept most of the time in utero - not these guys!

We'll hope for another quiet day today and tonight. I get another shower today so that certainly will be the highlight of the day! Every day is such a blessing.

UPDATE:
Bloodwork appears to have come back OK. Platelets are up (good thing) & white Blood Cell Count down (good thing, probably means that the UTI I have been fighting is on it's way out). My liver enzymes are still reading kinda weird but apparently nothing to be alarmed about right now. I'll take it for today!

Watch out, here comes a belly shot....

This was taken very quickly yesterday after my heavenly 10 minute shower. No more naked belly shots like before - sorry gang! Here we are at 24 weeks and 4 days.

Nothing like being an Aunt!

It's amazing how a little peanut can brighten your spirits. I have photos of all of my nieces and nephews here on my bulletin board and on my computer that I can see each day. But nothing is as good as the real thing!

Growth is Good!

Just a quick update for tonight. Saw Dr. L tonight (peri) and he did a quick doppler on the boys. It's still hard to see Baby A very well but his heartbeat was still ticking. Baby B is about 1 lb, 6 oz and Baby C about 1 lb 8 oz. There is a margin of error there though so those weights are not nearly precise but we'll take it!

There is some concern about one of the drugs that I am on now which is being used to hold off contractions; it can have a negative affect on the amniotic fluid (it can decrease fluid, however this is not the culprit with Baby A). It can also affect one of the ducts in the babies hearts. They are keeping an extra eye on both of those things now, probably every 2-3 days. Have I mentioned how lucky I feel to get to see these boys at least once a day, sometimes twice?!

We are still happy to see Baby A hanging in there for the sake of his Mommy and brothers - he's a fighter. My ultimate enemy at the moment is going into labor again, but if that happens, they will do all that they can to stop it.

For now, I'm holding my own and things have been quiet. That can turn in a matter of one hour though so we'll continue to hope and pray that this old body of mine can hold out a while longer! One more batch of steroids on Sunday/Monday which would be a nice reassurance ~ from then on, it's a waiting game. And that just seems to be the hardest part.

One of the highlights of my hospital stay so far was a visit from my niece Emily today. We were able to get special permission (I'm shmoozing the nurses) to allow her to come for a visit today; as always, she brightened my spirits so much and was such a happy little love bug. I'll hold on to that visit for the next week - until I can shmooze some more and get her back again! We took some pictures so will try to post them over the weekend sometime.

Good weekend to all!

TGIF

Well, 24 weeks and 4 days, and counting. Babies looked good this a.m. I've been taken off some of my daily monitoring equipment (they were monitoring my contractions all day and all night up until yesterday) so it feels good to have a few less wires connected to my body. They are now allowing me a sitting shower (<10 minutes) every other day if I want it. The small things in life huh? I think I'll take them up on that!

I'm finally getting over the UTI/Bladder infection that I got from the cathetar; and we're getting a handle on my nausea from all of the medications. All in all, I'm starting to feel a little bit better and get my appetite back. The babies are growiing a lot now - my belly is rediculously large. It's amazing how I've just laid in bed for the last 6 weeks and my belly is still growing. Pretty amzing.

Hoping to see the perinatologist today again and get some more measurements on the kids. Based on the size of my belly, I feel like they should be 3 pounds each but I know that is a silly thought. They are probably a bit under 2 lbs each now; they still have some growing to do!!

I'll post later if we get any more significant updates. Hoping for a good quiet weekend so we can hit that 25 week mark! Take care all and hope you all are staying cool in this brutal weather.

We're still here, hanging in

It's been a few days since I posted last; things are about the same as they were at my last post. The babies are still doing well and my cervix seems to be holding up well too; I think my doctors are shocked that we're still here. C. continues to push me along, wanting to get 10 more weeks out of me. I think that is a bit over ambitious but we'll go as far as we possibly can. Today marks 24 weeks and 3 days.

It's been a tough few days emotionally ~ being in the hospital definitely takes it's toll. I miss the outside world tremendously but just have not had the spirit or strength to reach out just yet. I miss work, I miss friends and I miss family - so much. It's amazing how hard it is being removed from the real world. I am not looking for sympathy or complaining, just trying to get my arms around how I will get back into the swing of things once the time comes and I get out of the hospital. Not being in your own home for an extended period is very strange - and without your own things. I most definitely have a true appreciation for my life and everything in it. One might think that this is just a short vacation but not the same. I miss my kitties like crazy - and just miss the simple things like sleeping in bed with my husband and having a quick dinner together.

Daily I feel guilty for being out of touch with people - but right now, I don't have the energy to reach out. That said, I hope that any of you who have been keeping up via this blog understand how much each and every one of you mean to me and how much I can't wait to get back to real life someday. For now, this is my job - to grow babies. And boy, let me tell you, they are growing! As we speak there is a big fat head poking out of the left side of my belly - Baby C certainly has a mind of his own!

Thank you for your continued emails, emotional support and cheerleading. I do read your messages daily - although I don't always have it in me to respond, I want you all to know how much your messages mean to me. I am blessed to have so many understanding people surrounding me who care enough to continue to cheer us on. THANK YOU!