Reality Check...

Today was a reality check for me in many ways. We had our meeting with the Neonatologist which was really pretty much uneventful. We reviewed the boys since birth in terms of what kind of issues that they have had, various meds etc. Then we discussed what kind of care they will require once they get home for their first few months (meds, home monitors, doc visits etc.). We didn't really learn anything we didn't already know - which is a great thing. They keep us very well informed and are always available for my millions of questions each day. No talk yet of homecoming dates but we're getting close.

But reality hit me that these guys might really be coming home! And what an AMAZING realization that was! For so many months, I never knew if I would ever come home with babies. As pessimistic as that sounds, after going through so many losses, including losing Baby Cal and all of the other potential issues, I have never been able to fully accept that I am a Mom and I might bring babies home with me. Honestly, I'm still not quite there ~ but I'm a heck of a lot closer than I have ever been. And reality is, I just can't wait to get these guys home. They are safe where they are now, and they are not quite ready to go yet. But we're getting closer.

Both boys are doing pretty well today; they both put on good weight tonight - Cole was up 50 grams and JD was up 20; both were very bright eyed for our visit tonight. I just love seeing them so alert. Cole is looking more like JD to me these days. I guess it's because he's getting some little cheeks now. It will be fun to see them side by side soon when they both are "tube free". That tape on their faces just doesn't give us a good look at their little faces. Soon enough though.

I was wondering to myself today what it will be like in the next few weeks once we get home and I don't have to go to the hospital any more. I've been there every day since July 27 - and lately, it's multiple times per day. That's crazy isn't it? I think my car can drive there by itself. I know all of the valet parking guys. I know which doors are open and locked at which times. I know where all of the restrooms are in the entire hospital. The front desk nurses recognize us now - AND our entire family. As we were walking out of the hospital tonight, my Mom was trying to convince me to "sleep in" tomorrow. Ya know, she has a point. My days of sleeping in are numbered. BUT, as some of you Moms would know, having babies in the hospital doesn't usually lend itself well to sleeping in. There's no place I'd rather be than at their bedside. And for now, that is my job. So, although it's almost 11pm and I have no intention yet of packing it in for the night, I'll get up early, shower and roll out at o'dark thirty. It's just a habit now I guess.