Babies in Heaven

For some reason I've got writers block. Not that I'm a prolific writer, it's just that I don't think I have ever been at a loss for words. It's because I have so many emotions running through my head that I can't seem to put it all into words. Here goes.

It's a big weekend. For a few reasons.

The biggest reason is that my baby shower is Sunday. I've waited and imagined this day for a long time. And somehow now that it is here, I don't feel worthy. Two of my best girlfriends have poured their energy into making this the perfect day for me and my family; and it was planned a long time ago. The original date was going to be July 2 - and I was hospitalized at that time; so it was postponed indefinitely. All of that energy for not. Over the last few months, they have been so patient in waiting to determine with me when the most appropriate time would be. It was hard to accept that the boys were really here and might be coming home, and the shower might really happen. It was hard to believe that they were really mine. It's hard to explain that feeling because normally new Mom's would be dying to have their shower. After all that we went through, I was so scared to plan it again for fear that something would happen a second time. We finally decided on a date and it's here. WOW.

I can't help but think that I don't want anyone to be obligated to do any more for us than they have already done. Over the last several months, the outpouring of love, support, prayers and generosity have been overwhelming. And the fact that everyone is gathering this weekend on our behalf is just amazing; and we are so grateful. Not that friendship and support requires "re-payment" but I just can't imagine how I can ever show everyone how much I appreciate all of this hoopla. Especially my girls, Lauri and Denise for the patience and love that they have shown throughout this ordeal to make this one of the most special days of my life. I'm forever indebted.

The other reason that this weekend is big is because on the very same day as my baby shower, falls "Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day". It's an official national holiday. What a celebration for C. & I, and our angels. It's the perfect day to honor my latest loss, Calvin, since he will be showered with gifts along with his brothers. I am happy that such a wonderful long awaited occasion of my baby shower falls on this day that could otherwise be laden with sadness. It's a day to celebrate all of our children, those who are here with us and those who went to heaven early. And I will be honored to spend the day together with you gals who are with me celebrating, and have also lost babies. It's amazing how many women lose babies along the way and we never even know about their losses.

There is a national push to recognize this special day so that awareness of Infant Loss is heightened and people realize how important it is to remember those little babies that have not stayed on earth.

www.october15th.com


Everyone is invited to light a candle on Sunday, 10/15/06 at 7:00 pm, in ALL time zones, ALL over the world. If everyone lights a candle at 7pm and keeps it burning for at least one hour, there will be a wave of light over the entire world on October 15th to honor this special day - Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day".

I am looking forward to Sunday so much - it's going to be such a special day. Although I will be emotional, it's all healthy, healing emotion. And I cannot thank everyone enough for all that you have given to us; emotionally, spiritually & physically. Although this experience has been a long road for us, the blessings certainly outweigh the hardships. The blessings are endless and keep coming as the days go on. How did we ever get so lucky? Sunday will truly be a special occasion for me, and for many others. Let's make it a celebration for all of the babies we love so much - those that are here, and those that are watching from above.