Thursday, July 06, 2006

One week down

Well, here we are, one week after surgery and it appears that for now, all is stable and hanging in there. We had our one week follow up appt today and the cervix looked good - has not changed since the surgery (actually may have lengthened slightly) and appeared to be strong, with no pressure from inside. We're cautiously optimistic with that report and hoping that means that we can hold out for a while longer here. One week at a time!

Off to take a nap - my 2 hour excursion took it all out of me. Amazing how doing nothing for a week takes away your energy so fast. We're all good, for today; and couldn't be happier to be in my own bed.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

There's no place like home....

Well, we're home again - at least for the time being. A nice treat for the 4th of July. I was released from the hospital yesterday, 7/3 in the afternoon after having a rather quiet day in terms of contractions etc. They sent me home on strict bedrest with bathroom privileges and one shower per day. It feels good to be home - but there is not an hour that goes by that I don't fret about having to go back to the hospital. I hope we can stick it out here for a good while.

What a humbling experience this is. I've never felt so helpless. How will I ever repay everyone that has helped me so much over the last week? And for the many weeks to come? Mainly C., Mom & Dad - Mom stayed with me every night in the hospital; went out to buy me things that I needed there (food, electric razor, nighties, writing paper), and has been absolutely amazing. Then today we had "operation bedrest" going on here at the house. I have set myself up in our guest room for the days so that I don't live in our bedroom. C. brought up our little frig from the basement (he had to sacrifice his beer frig for the time being) so I have a food/drink stash when I'm here alone. Then Dad showed up with a new 17" flat screen TV which they promptly ran cable to so that I can have a TV in the room. I have my laptop and printer set up on the cozy bed and all of my puttering materials right by my side. As an added bonus, Dad also bought some walkie talkies for us - we can use one outside by the front door for visitors so they can radio in to me when they arrive and I can tell them where the key is. Pretty smart of him huh?

I'm still far from being out of the woods but each day is a milestone. We're first hoping to hit the two week mark since the cerclage (which is a week from Thurs); then we'll shoot for the 24 week mark. After that, every day/week is a bonus. I hope we can make it. Just hoping this old body of mine can hold out.

The power of prayer has been an amazing thing. We feel so fortunate to have so many friends, family, friends of friends etc. thinking of us and sending well wishes our way. The goodness of people, even those we don't know (nurses) will never cease to amaze me. St. Gerard, the patron Saint of Motherhood is watching over us. Although no fireworks for us this year, it's good to be home; for however long it lasts. I'll savor each day.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

As promised....


Here's a photo of what the TBERG position looks like...

Hospital - Day 5

Well, we're still hanging in here! Can't say it's easy but one day at a time seems to be working well for now. I'm not inverted any longer - just laying totally flat for now. Still cathetarized so not getting out of bed for anything. I haven't seen a doctor yet today so not sure what their plan for me is at this point. I don't know if we'll get released to go home to 100% bedrest or if this is my new home for the next long while.

Things appear to have stabilized for now - although I keep waiting for all hell to break loose again. Hopefully we'll get to go home for at least a few weeks; I know I'll be back here at some point as the boys continue to grow.

If I have to be in the hospital, this place is wonderful. We have our own "suite" and it's very plush. I'm actually in the labor and delivery ward and the rooms are awesome. We have a small little kitchen area, nice TV with cable; small table to sit at (for guests of course) and a small couch next to my bed. My trooper husband has been here during the days since Friday - and I've had a few visitors; I'm looking pretty ragged out right now though and not too keen on having just anyone stopping by.

Not sure when I'll get another shower so until then, we'll keep the visitors limited for now. Not much more to report. If we're here for the duration, it's going to take some getting used to but we'll get there. Hopefully I'll have another quiet day and some good news to come in the coming day or two. Until then...

Friday, June 30, 2006

T-Berg (you won't believe it)

Trindillenberg - the art of hanging a pregnant woman upside down in order to keep babies inside before their due date. Yes, I'm serious. Not sure why I suddenly have a sense of humor about this - call it hormones, or maybe just a jumbled brain from being slanted toward the floor for the last 48 hours. But as I'm sitting here typing with my feet raised about 2 feet above my head, must be making me crazy enough to find it somewhat funny. If you guys could see me now, you wouldn't believe it. But ANYTHING for these babies!

I was admitted to labor and delivery on Wednesday morning after my check up at the OB. Thank God Mom was with me since earlier in the week I had been put on house rest. Dr. H checked my cervix and it had shorted a great deal in just 2 days - it was moving fast and furious. He called over to the hospital, got me a wheelchair and they had me in a bed, on my head, within 30 minutes. Mild contractions - nothing that I could really feel. But the cervix was going south, FAST.

They put in a cerclage yesterday (a stitch to close the cervix and hold it closed; not a patient friendly procedure, by the way) and I'm waiting it out to see if the cervix is the problem or it's a pre-term labor issue. Up until about 3pm today (first 24 hours was the critical period for going into full blown labor) we were doing great. Then I got up to shower; did fine but having been off of fluids (they had to pull the IV for my shower), contractions started again; within about 10 minutes, the nurse told me I could no longer get out of bed to potty and she was putting in a catheter. They pumped me with some fluids and everything quieted right down. Here I sit - I mean here I hang. Calm has been restored for now. No idea when or if I'll go home - we're trying to get resigned to taking it one day at a time.

Up until now I didn't have any sort of sense of humor about this or I would have added a camera to the list of things for Chuck to bring back tomorrow. If I still feel like I can laugh about it tomorrow, maybe I will take a picture and post it.

But in all seriousness,we are in a critical situation. It's not fun. It's the scariest things I've ever been through. At the risk of losing my sense of humor for the night, I'm not going to give you the scary parts right now - suffice to say that the 3-11 nurse is a nightmare & 11pm can't come soon enough. Mom has stayed with me each night, God bless her. She's trying to get snuggled in now to the hard, 3 foot couch/slab of wood with cushions that sits next to my bed. What a trooper! I tried to make last night her last night here but after the fiasco this afternoon, she's hanging in for one more night. Aren't Mom's the best?

Thanks to all for your continued prayers - keep em coming! Love to all. Night, night. Hey, by the way, the boys are doing great. They let us peek at them every day, thank goodness.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

What a difference a day makes!



I've got a new outlook today and wow, what a difference! My daily routine is set for now - until things change again from a bedrest standpoint. But for now, things are coming together. I'm all set up in my "new office" in the guest room and the sunshine comes in and I can see outdoors. Work is bumping along smoothly so far and I'm able to get things done pretty efficiently for now. We're all good!

Finally got the printer/scanner hooked up today so here are a few of the most recent pics of the boys. Baby A wasn't cooperating well so he's not shown here - but he looks just like Baby B since they are identical so little does he know, we still know what he looks like!

Doc appt here shortly so will be back later with another update.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Boy, this is humbling!

Day #1 house rest, accomplished. Not nearly as easy as one would think. When I got the orders yesterday that I was "done working", it didn't seem to phase me too much. In fact, I was on such a high over seeing my boys and hearing such good updates on them that I'm not sure I really even processed "no more work". It wasn't until this morning that I melted down and it hit me. I'm done working (at the office). It's much earlier than I anticipated ~ and I thought I was prepared. Much to my surprise, I don't think I was really emotionally prepared. When I lost it this morning over dropping some things on the floor, I realized that this was a major change and I obviously needed to let it sink in a bit more.

Mom spent the day with me today and we were able to talk through a lot of this. It seemed so overwhelming earlier today and tonight, I feel like I've got more of a plan. I spent the day today really laying low and working on my laptop. I got a good amount of work done which was great - it's going to be very do'able.

Earlier today I was beating my body up for failing me - again. I thought I would make it much longer than 19 weeks before being restricted. I wasn't quite ready to stop working yet. But I was all wrong. Mom quickly reminded me that my body has done, and continues to do, something that it's really not "made" to do - carrying three babies is not a usual occurrence. So I'm straightened out now - and back to appreciating my body for working as hard as it has and growing three perfect baby boys. What a miracle. And really, there isn't much left for me to do to get organized ~ it's now my job to grow babies and be the incubator. I'm hoping that this quiet time will give me a chance to rest & stock up on sleep. After all, in no more than 16 short weeks, my miracles will arrive, God willing. I can do anything for 16 weeks! Can't I?

C. is working on getting adjusted to doing some housework things, grocery shopping etc. It will take a while to get into a routine but we'll get there. I'm thankful that I'm slightly mobile and able to make meals as I need to and shower and potty when needed. Could be worse; and it just might get that way at some point. Doc appt tomorrow again so I'll update the latest tomorrow afternoon. Let's hope for positive news. Still don't have the scanner hooked up but hopefully by tomorrow I can post a 3D photo of Baby B & C; the handsome little devils!

Monday, June 26, 2006

19 Weeks and counting...

Well, we have GREAT news and GOOD news - First, the GREAT news. The babies are doing awesome! They are growing well and measuring right on target. Baby A is up to 8 oz (1/2 pound), Baby B is 9 oz and Baby C is also 8 oz. We had another anatomy check today which was very thorough - they looked at all of the organs, the heart, brain etc. as well as all of the limbs and other parts. Everyone appears to be developing perfectly right now. The coolest thing was the 3D sonogram that they did which actually shows the babies in the flesh. We were only able to see Baby B & C with the 3D machine but how amazing! We can see what they look like! Baby A & B are both head down, lodged toward my pelvis, very close to the cervix. They were both face down so unfortunately Baby A didn't get to be part of the photo shoot - he was being shy I guess. Baby C is breech, with his head in my ribs. He's on my left side so has more room than the other two. Overall, it was a wonderful report and we couldn't be happier!

Now, for the just GOOD news...as if I wasn't a slug enough, I've been banished to HOUSE REST. No more working at the office. I guess I call it GOOD news, simply because it's not 100% bedrest yet. Gotta be optimistic, right? My cervix has shortened pretty significantly since my last visit there. I can't say I'm surprised actually. I have been trying to keep a very open mind about being put on some sort of restricted rest. So it's not a huge deal. It's a bit earlier than I anticipated but overall, I think I'm prepared both mentally and from a business perspective. We'll see I guess. I got my laptop a couple of weeks ago so that allows me to tap into my desktop at work and get whatever I need from there. It works great.

My restrictions are basically staying horizonal as much as possible - but allowed to get up to shower, potty and eat, "as necessary". I have another appt this Friday to check the cervix again and assuming that it has stabilized, I will continue on house rest indefinitely I guess. If it continues to shorten over the next 4 days, we'll need to deal with that accordingly. Until then, I'll just follow doctors orders and lay low. Whatever it takes, we'll do. At the moment, he said a bit reluctantly that I am allowed to go to my shower this weekend - I'll just have to sit most of the time.

Overall, I'm on an emotional high since the babies are doing so well! I hope that I don't come crashing down tomorrow when I realize what is really going on - reality is, I'm sidelined. I feel very organized here at home, and at work so I hope that will help. In an effort to avoid full bedrest as long as possible, I need to be serious about this. I hope my body will pull through for me - it makes it a little more real now that we're faced with the reality of early delivery. I pray we can do it. We've gotta keep these guys in long enough that they are born healthy.

I need to get a routine going here at home for the next several weeks - where to set up my "office" and where the best place to reside during the day is. One thing at a time I guess.

This blog will probably be my sanity ~ writing will be a good outlet in the long days going forward.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Random updates

Well, not much specifically to post about but thought I would just do a quick update. It's a rainy Sunday so enjoying relaxing and listening to the rain.

I got to meet one of my online friends yesterday in person. It was awesome! She's such a great woman - we've known each other for almost 2 years now as on line friends and to meet her and get to talk face to face was the best. We chatted for a few hours and could have talked all day I think. Cilla, if you read this, it was wonderful seeing you and I sure hope that this next cycle is it for you. I know it's been so hard for you and it breaks my heart to see you still struggling. Keep that faith and hope alive - your time is coming, I promise! I never thought I would get here either...it's going to work! Here's a woman who has endured several losses and comes to meet me (with a big ole' pregnant belly) and brings me a basket full of baby gear. I was overwhelmed with thanks and especially love the book that you picked out for us. I can't wait to read it with the boys.

Speaking of books, my dear Aunt sent me a book too this week. I started reading it yesterday and it's awesome! It's a book for Mom's about what children need - and the bottom line is "Love". It's an especially meaningful book #1 because my Aunt Kathy thought to get it for us from a dear friend of hers, and #2 because it is written by a woman named Carol, who is currently struggling with Cancer. She wrote the book before she got sick, however she wrote me the most beautiful message in the front of the book! This, despite her own struggles with her terminal illness. People never cease to amaze me - the amount of love, compassion and caring that people are able to give to other human beings, despite their own struggles is amazing. I can't wait to get back to the book - it's the perfect rainy day for it today too. My heartfelt thanks to Kathy & to Carol for arming me with such a wonderful parenting strategy!

Well, the twins are sitting on one of my organs I think - I can't tell if it's my liver, kidney or bowels but it's definitely something! It comes and goes so I think it's definitely related to their moving around and occasionally I get a kick that takes my breath away. Can you imagine what it will be like in 10 more weeks? They are going to be going around and around like a washing machine, jockying for space in there! They are moving a lot now so it's fun to feel them. Chuck hasn't been able to feel them yet though - everytime I try to have him feel them, they quiet down.

My baby shower is coming up next weekend. My anxiety level has gone down a bit but I'm still a bit uneasy. I think it's because there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of the possibility of something happening to these little guys. I guess that is normal after what we have been through. I'm not dwelling on that - but it does cross my mind. I know we have to get the shower done earlier than normal so that we have time to get things organized though. If, God forbid, something happens, we'll be OK. Just thinking about the shower gets me a bit teary eyed. I can't wait to see my college girls that are making it into town. And so many other people that have been so supportive of Chuck and I over the last few years will be there too. All of those who have prayed for us and sent us well wishes ~ we'll all be in the same place together. That is overwhelmingly special...

Mom, you're going to have to be my rock. You've been with me every single day of this journey and you are going to have to help pull me through without being an emotional basketcase. I'm hoping that I will surprise myself but we'll see.

The nursery is coming along - just waiting now for the cribs. They should be shipped early this week so hopefully they will make it here before the weekend. I would love to have the nursery finished before the shower. Apparently the cribs aren't too hard to put together (according to the lady I got them from) so hopefully it won't take days to get them assembled.

We have another peri appt tomorrow - we'll get some new measurements of the boys and see how they are doing. As always, looking forward to that. I'll post some more updates tomorrow. For now, going to enjoy this lazy Sunday and kick back.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

How NOT to wake up your husband!

So, have you ever thrown water on your husband to wake him up out of a dead sleep? It works! I have been laughing out loud all day today about our middle of the night episode last night; mind you, it was a total accident, I swear! C. doesn't seem to believe me that it was accidental though...and I'm definitely laughing at his expense but...oh well.

As you can imagine, at this stage I'm up out of bed at least 4-5 times per night to use the potty. Inevitable. Especially with all of the water I've been drinking to keep these contractions at bay. That said, I got my fat belly rolled out of bed (which is not an easy task these days) for the 3rd time around 3:30 am and then made my way back to bed. As I was snuggling back in, I reached for my water bottle and was taking a couple of swigs. At the same time, C. rustled around and apparently in an effort to get me to settle down quickly and shut up, he swung his arm over me to pull me closer. Just as he did that, he connected with the water bottle and it flew right into the middle of the bed, with the top OFF. Oh boy, glug, glug, glug, went the water....on his head, face, shirt, pillow, sheets, blankets, me etc.

All I could do was laugh. But he was furious! OK, my days with having him in bed are already numbered due to our new bed mates lately (several pillows) so this might have just been the ticket that he needed to move to a different sleeping location. He's been a trooper and has stuck it out for a while now. I know he sleeps terribly to begin with but has been trying his best to stay with me b/c he knows how sad I'll be once he has to move.

Anyway, he was not finding it the least bit funny this morning, as I continued to laugh about it. He had dark circles under his eyes and was not amused. Where on earth did he lose his sense of humor? Easy for me to say when I have no trouble falling back to sleep....he never went back to sleep after the water mishap. Boy, he'll be a peach tonight I bet. Guess I'll offer to go elsewhere to sleep tonight to try to save him for a while longer....