School Days

We've finally made our decision on what we're doing Dec 1 when Jessica leaves us. Nevermind the sadness I feel about the part that she's leaving, we're happy with our decision and looking forward (sort of) to our new routine. The thought of finding another nanny was absolutely daunting to me - and something that I just couldn't do. I tried, for a week. Personally, I know that I've been spoiled and I couldn't imagine finding someone as perfect. I know that there are so many wonderful nanny types out there - but the thought of entrusting my kids with another stranger (of sorts) who would drive them places just didn't work for me. That said, our decision was made.

The boys are going to be starting a school program, with afternoon day care. We looked at a couple of schools and narrowed in on one which we are really excited about. I'm thankful that C. took an active part in our choices and his visits to the school helped to confirm that we've found a good spot.

My work schedule will change and I'll be working three full days a week, instead of 5 partial days. At first I had mixed feelings about this but since it's our only option at this time due to availability at the school, I've gotten used to the idea and actually like it. It will give me 2 days per week to spend with the kids and do some fun things with them. It's going to be a huge adjustment for all of us - in many ways. But change is good and I think the kids will flourish once they are around all of the other kids and in a new setting.

Looking back, I can't imagine a better beginning for them, having had Jessica with them since they came home from the hospital. We were fortunate enough to not only have in home care, but the most wonderful, nurturing, loving woman caring for them. She's going to be such an amazing Mom herself someday - and although we will miss her terribly, I feel so fortunate for the time we did have with her. She is responsible for so much of their emotional development into such loving kids. Her kind, gentle demeanor and child rearing philosophy parallel mine. That is key for the consistency we've been able to have.

I am not quite sure how to prepare the boys for her departure. At their age now, I know that subconsciously they will miss her and feel the void when she's gone. But I don't think that they will know enough to ask why she's no longer with us each day. They still are in the 'out of sight, out of mind' mode, which I think I'm thankful for at this point. They light up when they see her and she comes in the door each day ~ but I'm hopeful that with the new routine, they won't miss her too much to the point that it makes them sad. That in itself would break my heart, seeing them sad each day. In another few months I think we're going to be to that place emotionally with them so I'm glad it's happening now before they are mature enough to realize it. I dread the day that she's really gone - I don't know how I will tell the boys to say good bye to her THAT day. I myself will be a basket case, and if I had to guess, she will be too. It makes me cry just writing about it. Ugh, tough days ahead I suppose...

Nonetheless, we're excited and hopeful that we've made the right choice. In prep for this big day, we have procured their first little backpacks (or "rescue packs" as they call them, for you Diego fans who understand that lingo!). They love to wear their little packs around the house and put their things in them. It's a total hoot. I look at them running around the house with backpacks and can't for the life of me, understand how they got so big already.

As time passes, I am reminded, yet again, of how lucky we are. And I can't wait to be able to spend more quality time with them in the coming months with our new schedule. These days will be gone before we know it and they will be in school full time. I'm just lucky I have the chance to do so!