The Middle Place

I attended my first book signing ever last night. What an interesting event. I didn’t really know what to expect at such an event – but it was really a pleasant surprise. The author is Kelly Corrigan. She’s the sister of two lucky guys I know – these boys are crazy boys who I only knew in my younger years. They are grown up now (well, sort of). I happened to go to college with the younger of the two – and the older one had the pleasure of dating my college roommate & best friend for a long time. Suffice to say that there are many stories about all of them and meeting the third sibling in the equation was quite a pleasure. Kelly is a really cool person to meet. For so many reasons. She’s hysterically funny (which you will see if you read her book), upbeat, honest and she’s the kind of person who can carry on an endless conversation with perfect strangers. And when you walk away, you are smiling and you feel like you’ve known her forever. It’s really fun to meet dynamic people like that – it’s so refreshing. We sipped wine while Kelly read a few chapters from the book - one that made us cry, and one that made us laugh.

Although I’m only about half way through her book so far (trying furiously to find more hours in a day so I can get sucked in by the book again in my jammies under a blanket), I get it. She wrote the book when she was my age (she’s now 3 years older) and it’s so prudent to where many of us mid-life women (pigeons) are right now. We’re raising young families and trying to (or not to) worry about our parents. We’re in between being parents and needing our parents. Her writings are straight from her heart and based on her experience of being diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer with two small children and a husband. Only to find out shortly after that that her Dad was diagnosed with cancer too. She was trying to be a grown up, raise her kids, act like an adult when she was sidelined going through cancer treatment and finding that she needed her parents like she did when she was a kid. Low and behold, then she was forced to worry about her Dad's prognosis more than her own. She was caught in the middle. If you haven’t read the book, please pick it up. Especially if you’ve been through any sort of family crisis in your adult years, you’ll appreciate it so much. I didn't mean to make this into a commercial for her book - honest.

But I can relate. This happened to me once I got pregnant and started having problems with the pregnancy. My world got suddenly smaller and I needed my parents like I did when I was a kid; it was instinct to want them with me. They rallied with us through the storm – my Mom being by my bedside every single day, and MANY nights. I’m flooded with tears as I write this. I remember feeling a bit guilty that all I wanted was my Mom & Dad. I felt guilty because at this stage in our lives, my husband was supposed to be the only one I needed in my time of crisis.

Don’t get me wrong, with everything we had gone through over the years, he was my rock. He really was. And I like to think that I was his too as he struggled through some difficult times. But now, this was a whole different level of “need”. I was lost, scared and vulnerable. The very thing I had worked so hard for (children) might be taken from me. There’s no rationalizing that – all you can do is just rally through it. Kind of like cancer for Kelly. I guess it’s just part of the natural cycle of life – there will be a day when our parents aren’t there any longer for us; if not already for some. And then it’s too late to appreciate this “middle place”. Kelly’s message was to enjoy it while you can – it’s not a bad place to be.

It's always fun to meet an author in person - if nothing else than just to get the sense that they are a real person like you and I. It puts things in perspective and gives us a great appreciation for those who can put their feelings, thoughts and life events into words that the rest of us can relate to. And there's nothing like a good book that you don't want to end. My hat is off to Kelly for an excellent book that really hits home for so many.