Heavy Hearted

Why is it that at holiday time bad things seem to happen? I guess bad things are happening all of the time – it’s just more obvious during the holidays because it’s supposed to be such a happy time. Our family has a bad history with tragedy around the holidays. Although every one in our own family is safe and well (thank goodness), we have lots of sad things going on around us. My heart is so heavy. Aside from the continued daily world event tragedies, some friends of ours are in very dark places right now. I guess that is what life is – full of ups and downs.

A college friend of mine lost her Mom on Christmas Eve after a massive stroke a few days prior. She was in her early 60’s. With three children and a slew of grandchildren. She was an awesome Mom, Grandmother, friend and woman. I can still picture her smiling face and friendly nature. She’s been taken way too early. Her funeral is today in PA. Several of my friends are going to be there – I’m sure it’s one of the more sad funerals that they will ever attend having lost such a special woman. It’s not fair.

Another family friend of ours was just re-hospitalized yesterday at Hopkins. He has a condition which has quickly caused him full body paralysis and the inability to talk. He has gone down hill rapidly in the last few weeks and the doctors have NO IDEA what is causing this or what is wrong. Can you imagine that? He’s been seen by some of the best doctors in the world at Hopkins and they still have no idea what is going on. He lays in a hospital bed surrounded by his family, all at the mercy of the doctors and they can’t figure out what is ailing him. That’s not fair either.

You feel so helpless when those around you are suffering and there isn’t really anything you can do to help. You can stand by and offer support as they go through the daily grind of grief; and you can pray that they are going to be ok. Aside from that, there isn’t a whole lot to do. That’s sometimes the hardest part.

As we went through our most recent dark times with the loss of Calvin and the babies being in NICU, there really wasn’t much that anyone could do. I try to remember back to those times and think about what it was that others did for us that really helped. I guess just knowing that people were out there caring and praying for you was the biggest comfort. When you’re in the midst of the crisis, whatever it may be, you just go minute to minute. You don’t have down time to think about much other than the issues at hand. As friends and family to those who are hurting, it’s natural to want to do “more”. You just want to be able to carry some of the load for them as they push through their grief. But they carry on and get through….somehow.

I’m just feeling so heavy hearted today – and sad that these dear friends are enduring such painful issues right now. We all have our crosses to bear….but sometimes people are given things that are almost too hard to get through. I guess it’s sometimes harder for us outsiders to imagine going through than it is for those who are dealing with the grief. There’s just no easy way is there?