Anxiety 101

I guess this is just the beginning of my worry and anxiety for the rest of the lives of these children growing inside me. Today seems to be a little more anxiety ridden than others for some reason. I guess I'll chalk it up to a few things:

1. We're going to register tonight - I haven't even walked in the store yet and I'm feeling overwhelmed. WOW, there is so much we need! I guess I'll just take it one isle at a time and load up my list. Glad that Mom & Erica are going with me though - two very instrumental, calm, reassuring people in my life - that is just what I need to keep the nerves in check. Chuck doesn't seem to be too interested in helping with picking out the baby stuff. It's much like our wedding ~ he trusts that I'll get what we need and he has no qualms about not being involved. I find this a blessing in a way actually - makes it easier for me to get what we need without dispute.

2. We find out the sexes tomorrow - FOR SURE. I think the reason this is so paramount is because so many things have been waiting for us to find out what they are. Once we know, everything will start falling into place. The room color will be picked, the cribs will be ordered etc. We're really moving forward.

3. My shower invitations apparently went out yesterday. The thought of my shower still brings tears to my eyes and somersaults to my belly ~ I guess that is normal. But it's been so comfortable going through this with a small group and that day it will be all eyes on us. The attention is something I used to handle very well but through this journey of ours, I've become more comfortable with fading into the background. I'm so thankful for all of the wonderful friends who have been so genuinely excited for us - that in itself is a reason to suck it up and enjoy it - I do wish Chuck would be there with me though, he's been my rock. He'll be there in spirit I guess. The babies will pull me through. It will be a wonderful day and one that I will never forget.

I have found it extra comforting recently to think that there are three little supporters with me now days. I find myself talking to my little miracles and they give me strength to get through the anxiety ridden moments. Not that they can understand any of this but just knowing that three little souls are riding around with me is a comfort in itself. Pretty cool actually. I'm reminded daily of how lucky I am; as it gets closer, I just can't wait to meet them in person. God, please let them arrive safely and healthy.