Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Belly Shot
Here's an updated belly shot - 21 weeks, 2 days. Kind of a crummy photo but best I could do in the 3 minutes I had while I was up to potty; since that is the longest trip of the day (to the bathroom and back), it felt good to stand up for a few extra seconds to take a picture. A little extra leg stretch!
My daily inspiration
Can you stand how cute those little shoes are? My dear Aunt Kathy sent these as a shower gift for my boys (her GREAT nephews). Since my shower was postponed indefinitely when I was admitted to the hospital, Mom brought her gift over when I got home from the hospital. I was leary to open it. Something about that "jinx" factor that I've been hung up on since the beginning of this pregnancy.
But I'm glad I opened it. I can't get over how cute these are. After I opened them, I asked her to put them in the nursery and she adamantly refused, stating that they were going to stay here in my room with me to remind me that all of this is so worth it - and to keep me focused on the final reward to keep working toward. It's working. I stare at these shoes each day (all day actually since they are right next to the tv) and imagine what the boys will look like with them on their little feet. It reminds me that about a year from now, when they are wearing them through the summer, we'll hopefully look back on this and remember how challenging it was, but also how worth it it was. Anything for my boys.
It's important to keep the big picture in mind. Although, sometimes that gets a little overwhelming. Day by day, and week by week seem to be the best way for now; and we're slowly marking off the days on the calendar. My belly is growing bigger by the day now - and it's getting a little more uncomfortable to sleep. But I've always said, I couldn't wait for the day that my belly got so big it hurt. Or my belly was so big it was hard to get around. I welcome these days with open arms and only hope that we can hold out for many more weeks to come. We've got a few more weeks until we're over the big hump (24-25 week viability mark) and after that, every week will be a plus.
The cribs have arrived - but they aren't here at home yet. They are residing in Grampy's office for now, along with the dresser and glider. I'm not quite ready to bring them home yet. Hopefully in another week or two it will feel "right" to bring them home and finish up the boys little room. I guess I'll have to recruit some of my favorite men in the family and get a case (or two) of beer and some pizza's to bribe them to help set things up. Crib set up is a known nightmare so it might be a hard sell...then us girls can do the fun parts and get the bedding in and start putting some things away in there. So much to do - but not in a hurry yet to do it. Although I continue to think positive and believe that we're going to get these kids here safely, my realistic side stays in the forefront and it's just not time yet to let my guard down. But we're getting there.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Warm Fuzzies
Aren't warm fuzzies the best? I feel like I've gotten so many of them lately ~ but I got one of the best ones yesterday. One of the many girlfriends that I have that is suffering through infertility got a positive beta (pregnancy test) yesterday. She's been down this road for years - and she's suffered through many early pregnancy losses. But we have a good feeling this time for her. Prayers are being answered and that is the best warm fuzzy anyone could ask for.
She's been on my mind all night long - this was her 8th cycle; and her beta is so high, it's almost off the charts! A good beta number at 18 days after egg retrieval is anything over 100. Her number is 2850! Now, with triplets, my number was only 1204 ~ I can't even imagine what is growing in that belly of hers! I know she must have such mixed feelings today - she's got to be so full of excitement she's bursting, but at the same time, with a number like that, it's a bit scary too. They put two embryo's back so in theory, if there are more than two, it would mean that there was some egg splitting going on. Well, we know how that works!
This is such a scary time for IVF'ers though. The period in between the positive beta and the first ultrasound is the toughest part. It really is. And it's a good two weeks of waiting, wondering and speculating about every little twinge and symptom. Especially when someone like her has experienced all of her losses right in this time frame. She has had good beta's going in, and when it comes to the first ultrasound, things fell apart. As excited as we are for her, it's a fine line to know just how excited to be in front of her ~ understanding completely that until she sees a heartbeat, it just won't be real yet. As we always say, it would be so nice to be one of those people who just finds out they are pregnant and that's the end of it. But going through the blood tests every other day for a week and waiting for that first u/s makes it so nerve wracking. All we can do is help her "wait" and keep her positive. This has GOT to be her time. She's the same one that cycled with me when I got pregnant with the trips and she found no heartbeat - on the same day that we saw three heartbeats. It just didn't seem fair that day.
My other warm fuzzy today was my cute husband who continues to wait on me hand and foot each morning and night ~ without fail. As hard as this can be on families, there's no bigger blessing than rallying together to get these babies here safely.
She's been on my mind all night long - this was her 8th cycle; and her beta is so high, it's almost off the charts! A good beta number at 18 days after egg retrieval is anything over 100. Her number is 2850! Now, with triplets, my number was only 1204 ~ I can't even imagine what is growing in that belly of hers! I know she must have such mixed feelings today - she's got to be so full of excitement she's bursting, but at the same time, with a number like that, it's a bit scary too. They put two embryo's back so in theory, if there are more than two, it would mean that there was some egg splitting going on. Well, we know how that works!
This is such a scary time for IVF'ers though. The period in between the positive beta and the first ultrasound is the toughest part. It really is. And it's a good two weeks of waiting, wondering and speculating about every little twinge and symptom. Especially when someone like her has experienced all of her losses right in this time frame. She has had good beta's going in, and when it comes to the first ultrasound, things fell apart. As excited as we are for her, it's a fine line to know just how excited to be in front of her ~ understanding completely that until she sees a heartbeat, it just won't be real yet. As we always say, it would be so nice to be one of those people who just finds out they are pregnant and that's the end of it. But going through the blood tests every other day for a week and waiting for that first u/s makes it so nerve wracking. All we can do is help her "wait" and keep her positive. This has GOT to be her time. She's the same one that cycled with me when I got pregnant with the trips and she found no heartbeat - on the same day that we saw three heartbeats. It just didn't seem fair that day.
My other warm fuzzy today was my cute husband who continues to wait on me hand and foot each morning and night ~ without fail. As hard as this can be on families, there's no bigger blessing than rallying together to get these babies here safely.
Monday, July 10, 2006
21 Weeks and holding
Just a quick update for this week - perinatologist appointment went well today. The babies look great and the cervix is still in tact and holding. Dr. S. said things looked good and to "go home and keep doing what I'm doing and no more than that". So far, I'm pretty good at following doctors orders and don't plan on straying from that plan so hopefully we've bought ourselves some more time. I thought they might do some more measuring today so we had an idea about how big the boys were. But no such luck. In 2 weeks we'll have another growth check so we'll know more details then.
It felt good to get outside today and get some fresh air ~ even if it was for just an hour or two. They treated me like a queen at the doctors office; they let me sit in this comfy lazy boy instead of the waiting room chairs once Mom wheeled me in in the wheelchair. It feels so funny to have to be wheeled around when I don't feel badly physically. Kind of an odd feeling not to be able to do too much for yourself actually. I just keep remembering, it's only temporary. Pretty soon I'll be back to my old self and my old ways - doing everything I used to do.
My next appointment isn't until a week from Thursday so I've got about 10 days before I see another doctor. Going to do my best to hold tight through that 10 days for a good report next time too.
Dinners have started coming in now on Monday, Wed and Friday. What a blessing. C. will be so happy that he doesn't have to cook much for the next several weeks. He's been such an amazing help - he's been taking care of things around here like a champ! Of course we have had help with laundry etc. by some of my kind weekly helpers but overall, he's rallied so much, and all with a smile. God love him. I know it hasn't been easy on him with this adjustment so hoping that the extra help will keep him out of the weeds here at home. I try to shove him out one night a week with the guys too; hoping that it will keep his sanity. Our cleaning lady comes tomorrow which I'm sure is badly needed - I'm only living in three rooms of the house these days (bedroom, my day room and the bathroom) and all of those rooms need it so surely the rest of the house is way overdue. She's going to start coming every 2 weeks now instead of every 3 so that should be a big help.
I guess uneventful is a good thing, although it makes for a boring blog. But I'll take a boring blog any day over having to report too much negative excitement! I've got some fun topics up my sleeve so will have to get creative over the next 10 days until we get another doctors update. Until then...keep praying and know that all of you blog readers mean the world to us and we love you all dearly. Thanks for your thoughts, prayers and good ole' friendship.
It felt good to get outside today and get some fresh air ~ even if it was for just an hour or two. They treated me like a queen at the doctors office; they let me sit in this comfy lazy boy instead of the waiting room chairs once Mom wheeled me in in the wheelchair. It feels so funny to have to be wheeled around when I don't feel badly physically. Kind of an odd feeling not to be able to do too much for yourself actually. I just keep remembering, it's only temporary. Pretty soon I'll be back to my old self and my old ways - doing everything I used to do.
My next appointment isn't until a week from Thursday so I've got about 10 days before I see another doctor. Going to do my best to hold tight through that 10 days for a good report next time too.
Dinners have started coming in now on Monday, Wed and Friday. What a blessing. C. will be so happy that he doesn't have to cook much for the next several weeks. He's been such an amazing help - he's been taking care of things around here like a champ! Of course we have had help with laundry etc. by some of my kind weekly helpers but overall, he's rallied so much, and all with a smile. God love him. I know it hasn't been easy on him with this adjustment so hoping that the extra help will keep him out of the weeds here at home. I try to shove him out one night a week with the guys too; hoping that it will keep his sanity. Our cleaning lady comes tomorrow which I'm sure is badly needed - I'm only living in three rooms of the house these days (bedroom, my day room and the bathroom) and all of those rooms need it so surely the rest of the house is way overdue. She's going to start coming every 2 weeks now instead of every 3 so that should be a big help.
I guess uneventful is a good thing, although it makes for a boring blog. But I'll take a boring blog any day over having to report too much negative excitement! I've got some fun topics up my sleeve so will have to get creative over the next 10 days until we get another doctors update. Until then...keep praying and know that all of you blog readers mean the world to us and we love you all dearly. Thanks for your thoughts, prayers and good ole' friendship.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Visitors are always a plus!
One of the more quiet Saturdays around our house, I must say. I pushed C. out the door bright and early this a.m. to play golf (obviously I didn't have to push him too hard to play) and was glad that he got out with his usual Saturday group to try to relieve some stress. Did a lot of reading today which was a welcome change - Saturday tv is nothing special (come to think of it, week day daytime tv is not much to write home about either but...) so got some books from the library and started digging in. It feels good to escape into a good book instead of worrying about the obvious. I always loved to read and never got much time. Guess now is the time because for the next several years I can forget about doing any "pleasure" reading!
After lunch, the Leach clan came over for a visit - always good to see smiling faces, especially little Emily's. Poor thing - she is very mobile & busy now so it's got to be boring hanging around a bedroom listening to adults talk about nothing. Nonetheless, it always brightens my day to see her. And always good to have a few laughs.
Here's a photo of her puttering around in my busy box that is by my bedside:
There are lots of things in that box that a 9 month old can get into trouble with!
I have also attached a photo of my humble abode - this is where I spend my days. As you can see, I have all of the essentials; what you can't see are the tv and frig. It's a pretty comfy place. I move in here about 7am every morning, in time for breakfast and then move to my regular bed at night whenever C. decides to hang it up for the night.
For now, all is well. We have another growth check sonogram on Monday with the perinatologist. He'll also check my cervix and we're hopeful to buy at least another week at home in this cozy place. I'll be 21 weeks on Monday, and counting!
After lunch, the Leach clan came over for a visit - always good to see smiling faces, especially little Emily's. Poor thing - she is very mobile & busy now so it's got to be boring hanging around a bedroom listening to adults talk about nothing. Nonetheless, it always brightens my day to see her. And always good to have a few laughs.
Here's a photo of her puttering around in my busy box that is by my bedside:
There are lots of things in that box that a 9 month old can get into trouble with!
I have also attached a photo of my humble abode - this is where I spend my days. As you can see, I have all of the essentials; what you can't see are the tv and frig. It's a pretty comfy place. I move in here about 7am every morning, in time for breakfast and then move to my regular bed at night whenever C. decides to hang it up for the night.
For now, all is well. We have another growth check sonogram on Monday with the perinatologist. He'll also check my cervix and we're hopeful to buy at least another week at home in this cozy place. I'll be 21 weeks on Monday, and counting!
Friday, July 07, 2006
They are coming out of the woodwork
"They" are the amazing friends and family that have rallied around us. I'm overwhelmed, yet again, at the outpouring of support, prayers and thoughtfulness of so many people. I've always known that in times of need you really find out so much about people. But I guess when it really happens, it can be much more powerful and emotional than you think.
Mom has scheduled a few friends & family to do weekly visits to make sure my lunch shift is covered each day, as well as morning and afternoon visitors to help with chores or whatever needs to be done. I also need help getting to the doctor each week and she has that covered too. Another dear friend has set up dinners for us, three days per week, for the next 8 weeks. Neighbors have contacted me wanting to help and visit. Our extended family (Aunts and Cousins) have called regularly to check in. My favorite Aunt Kathy has been in touch daily. I can't get over all of this. As I have already said, it's such a humbling experience being sidelined for a long duration of time. But with such wonderful, helpful and genuine people surrounding us, it's been nothing but comforting.
I'm looking forward to being able to spend some quality time with people who I never get to spend time with due to our busy lives. Over the years, differences in life agenda's (kids, working vs. non-working Moms etc.) have not allowed me to spend as much time with friends as we used to have. It's been harder to keep up since we all are so busy with our respective lives. Now is a good chance to catch back up and stay in better touch with each other. I think that is a blessing. Mom and I have been together almost daily for the last many weeks - and it's been awesome. I get to spend more time with my sister in law and niece. I don't often get to sit down and chat with my Mother in law. Now we'll have some time together also.
Obviously I've had a great deal of alone time to reflect on things and I don't know how I could possibly complain about being stuck in bed when I have so many special people surrounding me. I know that people like to pitch in and help in times of need - I just hope that I can impress upon everyone how grateful we are for everything; and better yet, I hope I can repay everyone someday, in some way. Thank you will never be enough.
Mom has scheduled a few friends & family to do weekly visits to make sure my lunch shift is covered each day, as well as morning and afternoon visitors to help with chores or whatever needs to be done. I also need help getting to the doctor each week and she has that covered too. Another dear friend has set up dinners for us, three days per week, for the next 8 weeks. Neighbors have contacted me wanting to help and visit. Our extended family (Aunts and Cousins) have called regularly to check in. My favorite Aunt Kathy has been in touch daily. I can't get over all of this. As I have already said, it's such a humbling experience being sidelined for a long duration of time. But with such wonderful, helpful and genuine people surrounding us, it's been nothing but comforting.
I'm looking forward to being able to spend some quality time with people who I never get to spend time with due to our busy lives. Over the years, differences in life agenda's (kids, working vs. non-working Moms etc.) have not allowed me to spend as much time with friends as we used to have. It's been harder to keep up since we all are so busy with our respective lives. Now is a good chance to catch back up and stay in better touch with each other. I think that is a blessing. Mom and I have been together almost daily for the last many weeks - and it's been awesome. I get to spend more time with my sister in law and niece. I don't often get to sit down and chat with my Mother in law. Now we'll have some time together also.
Obviously I've had a great deal of alone time to reflect on things and I don't know how I could possibly complain about being stuck in bed when I have so many special people surrounding me. I know that people like to pitch in and help in times of need - I just hope that I can impress upon everyone how grateful we are for everything; and better yet, I hope I can repay everyone someday, in some way. Thank you will never be enough.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
One week down
Well, here we are, one week after surgery and it appears that for now, all is stable and hanging in there. We had our one week follow up appt today and the cervix looked good - has not changed since the surgery (actually may have lengthened slightly) and appeared to be strong, with no pressure from inside. We're cautiously optimistic with that report and hoping that means that we can hold out for a while longer here. One week at a time!
Off to take a nap - my 2 hour excursion took it all out of me. Amazing how doing nothing for a week takes away your energy so fast. We're all good, for today; and couldn't be happier to be in my own bed.
Off to take a nap - my 2 hour excursion took it all out of me. Amazing how doing nothing for a week takes away your energy so fast. We're all good, for today; and couldn't be happier to be in my own bed.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
There's no place like home....
Well, we're home again - at least for the time being. A nice treat for the 4th of July. I was released from the hospital yesterday, 7/3 in the afternoon after having a rather quiet day in terms of contractions etc. They sent me home on strict bedrest with bathroom privileges and one shower per day. It feels good to be home - but there is not an hour that goes by that I don't fret about having to go back to the hospital. I hope we can stick it out here for a good while.
What a humbling experience this is. I've never felt so helpless. How will I ever repay everyone that has helped me so much over the last week? And for the many weeks to come? Mainly C., Mom & Dad - Mom stayed with me every night in the hospital; went out to buy me things that I needed there (food, electric razor, nighties, writing paper), and has been absolutely amazing. Then today we had "operation bedrest" going on here at the house. I have set myself up in our guest room for the days so that I don't live in our bedroom. C. brought up our little frig from the basement (he had to sacrifice his beer frig for the time being) so I have a food/drink stash when I'm here alone. Then Dad showed up with a new 17" flat screen TV which they promptly ran cable to so that I can have a TV in the room. I have my laptop and printer set up on the cozy bed and all of my puttering materials right by my side. As an added bonus, Dad also bought some walkie talkies for us - we can use one outside by the front door for visitors so they can radio in to me when they arrive and I can tell them where the key is. Pretty smart of him huh?
I'm still far from being out of the woods but each day is a milestone. We're first hoping to hit the two week mark since the cerclage (which is a week from Thurs); then we'll shoot for the 24 week mark. After that, every day/week is a bonus. I hope we can make it. Just hoping this old body of mine can hold out.
The power of prayer has been an amazing thing. We feel so fortunate to have so many friends, family, friends of friends etc. thinking of us and sending well wishes our way. The goodness of people, even those we don't know (nurses) will never cease to amaze me. St. Gerard, the patron Saint of Motherhood is watching over us. Although no fireworks for us this year, it's good to be home; for however long it lasts. I'll savor each day.
What a humbling experience this is. I've never felt so helpless. How will I ever repay everyone that has helped me so much over the last week? And for the many weeks to come? Mainly C., Mom & Dad - Mom stayed with me every night in the hospital; went out to buy me things that I needed there (food, electric razor, nighties, writing paper), and has been absolutely amazing. Then today we had "operation bedrest" going on here at the house. I have set myself up in our guest room for the days so that I don't live in our bedroom. C. brought up our little frig from the basement (he had to sacrifice his beer frig for the time being) so I have a food/drink stash when I'm here alone. Then Dad showed up with a new 17" flat screen TV which they promptly ran cable to so that I can have a TV in the room. I have my laptop and printer set up on the cozy bed and all of my puttering materials right by my side. As an added bonus, Dad also bought some walkie talkies for us - we can use one outside by the front door for visitors so they can radio in to me when they arrive and I can tell them where the key is. Pretty smart of him huh?
I'm still far from being out of the woods but each day is a milestone. We're first hoping to hit the two week mark since the cerclage (which is a week from Thurs); then we'll shoot for the 24 week mark. After that, every day/week is a bonus. I hope we can make it. Just hoping this old body of mine can hold out.
The power of prayer has been an amazing thing. We feel so fortunate to have so many friends, family, friends of friends etc. thinking of us and sending well wishes our way. The goodness of people, even those we don't know (nurses) will never cease to amaze me. St. Gerard, the patron Saint of Motherhood is watching over us. Although no fireworks for us this year, it's good to be home; for however long it lasts. I'll savor each day.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Hospital - Day 5
Well, we're still hanging in here! Can't say it's easy but one day at a time seems to be working well for now. I'm not inverted any longer - just laying totally flat for now. Still cathetarized so not getting out of bed for anything. I haven't seen a doctor yet today so not sure what their plan for me is at this point. I don't know if we'll get released to go home to 100% bedrest or if this is my new home for the next long while.
Things appear to have stabilized for now - although I keep waiting for all hell to break loose again. Hopefully we'll get to go home for at least a few weeks; I know I'll be back here at some point as the boys continue to grow.
If I have to be in the hospital, this place is wonderful. We have our own "suite" and it's very plush. I'm actually in the labor and delivery ward and the rooms are awesome. We have a small little kitchen area, nice TV with cable; small table to sit at (for guests of course) and a small couch next to my bed. My trooper husband has been here during the days since Friday - and I've had a few visitors; I'm looking pretty ragged out right now though and not too keen on having just anyone stopping by.
Not sure when I'll get another shower so until then, we'll keep the visitors limited for now. Not much more to report. If we're here for the duration, it's going to take some getting used to but we'll get there. Hopefully I'll have another quiet day and some good news to come in the coming day or two. Until then...
Things appear to have stabilized for now - although I keep waiting for all hell to break loose again. Hopefully we'll get to go home for at least a few weeks; I know I'll be back here at some point as the boys continue to grow.
If I have to be in the hospital, this place is wonderful. We have our own "suite" and it's very plush. I'm actually in the labor and delivery ward and the rooms are awesome. We have a small little kitchen area, nice TV with cable; small table to sit at (for guests of course) and a small couch next to my bed. My trooper husband has been here during the days since Friday - and I've had a few visitors; I'm looking pretty ragged out right now though and not too keen on having just anyone stopping by.
Not sure when I'll get another shower so until then, we'll keep the visitors limited for now. Not much more to report. If we're here for the duration, it's going to take some getting used to but we'll get there. Hopefully I'll have another quiet day and some good news to come in the coming day or two. Until then...
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