My IF girlfriends...

As I continue on my journey post IF, some of my girlfriends that are still struggling are constantly on my mind. These girls are still trying so hard to achieve their dreams of having a baby - something that I feel like I was just doing almost yesterday. It's still so fresh in my mind.

Two of my local friends are cycling again now - one just did a natural IUI cycle this week, and is now in that dreaded two week wait. The other is going to start stimming for her 2nd IVF in another week or two. I'm hoping so hard that it works for them - I can't stop thinking about them and hoping that they pull through this time. The unknown is just so hard.

My other cyber friend from the BBC is in the midst of beta hell - she's had two betas that were really low and goes back for her 3rd today - uuuuggggghhhhhh, what a nightmare she is in. I can feel her pain. It's just such a tough place to be. And she's already had FOUR losses! She's been through this four times already - this is her 5th time. No wonder she's so cynical and non-enthusiastic. She's learned the hard way - too many times. Nobody should have to do that even once, much less 5 times now. Hopefully the ultimate reward is coming soon for her. She deserves it, more than anyone I know.

Supporting an IF friend after going through it yourself is almost as heartbreaking as going through it yourself. You hope so hard for each other - and can't stand to see the pain and sadness when it's a failure. But as I always say, it's sometimes easier to be the one going through it than the friends on the outside trying to help someone through. Something takes over inside when it's you that's dealing with it - and you get through....somehow. For now, lets just hope that my girls come through this time and those miracles that they are waiting for are ready to bless them. Now wouldn't that be the best year ever!

Guess who rules now?

Well, the babies are starting to rule already - very interesting how that happens isn't it? Little by little, they seem to be dictating what I can and cannot do on a daily basis. I was very surprised this weekend when I got so worn out, so fast, from doing so little. Well, compared to what I used to accomplish on a weekend day, it didn't seem as strenuous as it felt! Afterall, I only walked about a mile and a half - but being on my feet buzzing around all day really took it's toll. Boy, I'm only 14 weeks - I'm in trouble!

I'm thankful that I'm still feeling great most days - I was just pooped at the end of the day yesterday. It was an early day, started with a team in training event, on to visit Erica's girls, then to Mom's to help with Baby Emily, on a family walk (first time Mom, Toby and I have walked together probably since we were in diapers and a stroller together), then baby shopping, and home to the couch! I'm still having the residual effects from my hyperstimulation from back in March - the doc said that might continue until 16-20 weeks. It's so obvious at night - my belly is twice the size at night than it is in the morning. Kinda funny actually.

But I will say, looking at this tummy grow is a pretty cool thing. As odd as it is to watch the body change into a crazy shape (and wonder how it will ever go back to normal), it's amazing to me that there are three little babies growing inside. Truly amazing. I've already gained about 11 pounds so am hoping that most of that goes to the babies, not my ass!

I have another OB appt this week so am anxious to hear how he thinks I'm doing. I'm hoping maybe he can do a quick check on the babies (kinda doubt he will though) and see if he can tell the sexes. If not, I'll get back to Dr. Hot Pants at the end of the week and do that quick extra sneak peek that he promised he would do. Not sure what I'm more excited for - to see the babies or the doctor! Just kidding....

Patience is a Virtue?

You would think we would have learned how to be patient by now huh? This is certainly prepping me for when these little munchkins arrive ~ that said, it's a tad early to tell if they are boys are girls. Oh well, we got the best news we could have asked for and that is that they are all doing great! They are measuring right on target, good heart rates, moving around a lot, all of their limbs in tact and seem to be happy as clams. What a relief.

Much to my surprise, Dr. S was not our doc today - it was his partner, Dr. L. OK, let me just say that I was stuttering when he walked into the room - holy hot doctor! He's got to be about our age - and wow, his smile is enough to stop anyone in their tracks! Of course, wouldn't you know that as soon as he walked out the door, Chuck immediately said "he's gay". Why do all men say that when a hot man walks in and back out? In any case, he was awesome. He answered all of my questions and seemed to have a "good feeling" about the trips. Phew. Everyone told me about how much we would love Dr. S. but nobody warned me about the HOT factor of Dr. L. Just an added bonus I guess :) Since he sensed that I was disappointed he said he would let me come back in 2 weeks for another sneak peek at the end of the day - you can bet I will NOT be skipping that appointment, for 2 reasons - to see his hotness again and oh, of course, to see the babies again ;)

Anyway, we've got:
Baby A measuring at 13w2days and a heartrate at 150 - 70% chance it's a girl
Baby B measuring at 12w5days and a heartrate at 153 - too early to tell
Baby C measuring at 13w2days and a heartrate at 155 - too early to tell
*Baby B&C are the identicals

So, we continue to wait - with much patience. Finding out the sexes will be nice, but not nearly as important as just knowing that everyone is ok in there. Everyone always says "I don't care what sex it is, as long as it's healthy" and I now know exactly what they mean. They couldn't be more right on.

I thought this day would never come....

"Happy Mothers Day" was never something I thought I would hear - and boy, this years Mothers Day was much different than the last few...I've always wondered what it felt like to celebrate Mothers Day as a real Mom - I'm still not there yet but I'm a little closer than I've been the last few years. Gosh, remembering back to last year, and the year before, after experiencing the loss of babies and "almost" getting to be a Mom, that sure was a hard day. And I thought all day yesterday about my girls who are still struggling. It's such a hard place to be. It breaks my heart to think of those Mom's who are trying so hard to get that baby they so long for. And thinking about the Mom's with sick babies ~ who spent their day in the hospital yesterday with their ailing little ones - my heart goes out to all of them.

Mothers Day is really a cool day - a time to remember our own Mom's and let them know how much they mean to us. What a concept. We laughed because when you're a kid, you wonder "How come Mom gets a special day? When is it kids day?". We always asked that question as kids and got the same answer "everyday is kids day". That could not be any more true! There are never enough words to express to my own Mom how much she means to me. And how much she has done for me. And how much I appreciate her. And how brave, wise and amazing she is. I think about this almost daily and wish there was a way to tell you Mom, how much I love and cherish you. And how lucky I feel to have you as my Mom and my best friend. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. And that's the truth. As we grow older, it only gets better. We've got a bond that can never be challenged, no matter what. That's an amazing thing.

I was overwhelmed with cards, flowers and well wishes yesterday. I didn't expect that at all - afterall, I'm not a real Mom yet. Chuck gave me a sweet card - of course with his usual humor added to it but it touched my heart. It was really a nice day. Having the family over made it a special day ~ relaxing and fun to be with everyone. We had lots of helpers, all of which were the other Moms - it's amazing that on Mothers Day, the Mom's still kick it in and take care of business. Nature of the beast I guess.

Having the kids around was a joy - Emily, RT and Jonathan are such fun to be around. And thinking that we will add three more to the mix by this time next year just gives me a chuckle. It's going to be utter chaos ~ and I can only imagine that I'll have a smile a mile wide that I won't be able to wipe off of my face. That will truly be a special day when we can all be together, with kids, and laugh at the craziness that will be unfolding.

We have a big day coming up - our first appt with Dr. S (local Peri) and we might even find out the sexes of the three amigos. I don't have my heart set on it since it still might be a bit early at 13 weeks, but I'm remaining hopeful. Stay tuned....

It's really going to be the babies room!

WOW, that sounds so amazing - I called it the "babies room" for the first time today to the painter. I've always been scared to say that...

The painter came today to give us an estimate on painting the room. When I asked Chuck if he wanted to do the painting, his reply was "sure, I'll do it in the fall sometime". Ha. I held back and calmly said, "no, I don't think that will work; the fall is a bit late". He didn't seem to understand but didn't argue so I assume he was happy to get out of it. Nonetheless, we're having it done and am more than happy to do so.

I'm just hoping that next week we'll be able to find out the sex of these little guys. Although I think I already know, I need the official word so I can move along with the nursery. Once we know, I'll pick the theme and then the paint. Then we're off and running. Cribs will be ordered, then I'll have to find the furniture ~ boy, it's going to be tight in there. But cozy has always been my favorite so we'll start with that...

My belly has really popped out this week I think. It's still not too obvious to others but to me, it's looking much different. It's also gotten a little harder I think ~ thank goodness it's not all mushy. Now, my ass and my thighs, different story. Ewwwwwwww. Oh well, it's worth every dimple for these three little miracles. I'll work on getting it back off at a later date.

Headed out to dinner with Lauri tonight for a belated birthday dinner. I think we'll be talking babies and shower most of the time. That still makes me a little weird ~ just not to into talking about that all of the time. My anxiety level still raises easily ~ especially when it comes to talking about the shower. Hopefully I can hold it together. As much as I love these babies of mine, there is a strong sense of privacy that I'm still protecting; just not ready to share everything and let it all out. Probably never will be either ~ and that's OK.

It's Inevitable....

It was bound to happen, it's the first day wearing a real maternity item ~ kind of cracks me up actually. This skirt is so funny - it's all elasticky and big. It actually doesn't fit too well but it's my only option at this point - none of my other pants or skirts (non-maternity) fit so here we go! Boy, am I comfy today ~ and that's the name of the game I guess. For once in my life, I'll let it all hang out - ahhhhhhhhh!

Having some bleeding again this a.m. Darn it. I'm hopeful that it's nothing; and it's normal according to my doctor. But geez, it's nerve wracking. I think it has stopped for now so I'll just take it easy today (BTW, I don't think I can take it any more easy these days, I feel like a lazy bum). Long, busy weekend ahead so I hope it stops and doesn't give me too much trouble this weekend.

Just let the last email out to the local girls. The phone just started ringing - looks like another emotional day on tap...

Simply Overwhelmed

WOW, I didn't anticipate how emotional telling my girls would be ~ I sent an email this a.m. to my Roanoke gals, announcing our news. It said "Coming Soon Fall 2006, Licameli Triplets (Yes, I'm serious) - Love, Kate & Chuck (the proud parents to be)". The phone has not stopped ringing all day. And the tears keep flowing.

First it was Tracey via email - loved my announcement;
Then Courtney - she was floored and overjoyed to have another "Multiples Mom" to chat with;
Then Melyce - screaming like a crazy lady; so excited she couldn't put words together;
Then Meredith, in tears - she couldn't believe it; couldn't stop crying;
Then Susie - who I haven't talked to in a year; she couldn't believe it either but was adorable;
Then Kristin on email - shocked and wanted more details;
Then Jen on email - "I've never known anyone with triplets, holy crap" were her sentiments;
Then Jen in person - "I can't believe it; George wants to come in the fall to help with the Babies"

I also called my best girlfriend from childhood - Tina the Ballerina. She knew the minute she heard my voice and started screaming; She told me that she was going to call me this weekend and offer to be a surrogate for me. She had contemplated it long and hard and really wanted to help me. Mind you, both of her pregnancies were total nightmares - she was hospitalized for morning sickness both times and it was miserable for all 10 months. But she was still willing to do it. That is overwhelming in itself. What a selfless, wonderful human being. God, I miss her. She's been away for years and I miss her so much; especially at times like this.

Ah, I feel emotionally worn out today; the blessings just don't stop. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such wonderful friends. Chuck still has not told his two best buds so I'm going to hold off on telling any other local friends for a few more days. Once the girls start buzzing, I'm worried that his boys will find out through the grapevine and I know that he would rather them hear from him in person. And it's probably better so I can let my anxiety level return to normal ~ I'm not sure why I'm still feeling so anxious.

Need a good nights sleep to digest all of this. Overwhelming is an understatement I think...

Introducing...(drum roll please) A, B and C!

Here's the latest photo of our little guys (11 weeks, 1 day) Click on photo to enlarge...

Another Milestone Day

WOW, feeling so much lighter today ~ we had a great appointment today; the babies all measured right on target, with strong heartbeats pitter pattering away. All of their h/b's were almost exactly the same - right around 171. Phew. We arrived at Dr. P's office and were taken back to Jill's office for some "genetic counseling". Well, suffice to say that I was minutes from fleeing Jills office in sheer terror, having been totally convinced that one of my babies MUST have some sort of problem. I think I needed MORE counseling after that counseling! I certainly was not prepared for that. I'm not sure if this is how most people feel after this counseling session or if I was just overly paranoid ~ but I was definitely freaked by the time we went into the u/s room. We had the same sono tech that we had last time - and she was awesome. Within a few minutes, we saw all 3 heartbeats (first relief) and within a few more, she was focusing in on Baby A taking all of the measurements. Not long after (and very cooperative babies I might add, except for Baby C), she had measured the other two and we were feeling so much better. The nuchal measurements were all within the normal range - which means that most likely (not definitely) everything is good and we're all healthy. We tried like crazy to see some "parts" but it's still too early - we saw genitals but nothing obvious at this point. Darn.

I know none of these tests are for sure but for now, I'm feeling pretty relieved and comfortable going forward without any further "testing". I don't know how I was going to get over that hump if there was a reason to consider the CVS or the amnio. Thank goodness we don't need to cross that bridge right now, or ever for that matter if all continues to go well.

That said, we will switch to Dr. S (the local peri) in 2 more weeks. Have I said how spoiled I've become getting these sneak peeks so frequently? I somehow fanagled another one in less than two weeks ~ make no mistake, it was well thought out :)

So, all in all, aside from this horrendous cold that I seem to have caught from my precious niece, I'm feeling very reassured and comfy right now. I'm going to go snort some Afrin and try to rest. Lord knows I need sleep - didn't sleep a wink last night - not sure if it was the stuffy nose or anxiety over today, probably a little of both.

Monday Ramblings...

I can hardly wait until tomorrow! We have another appt with the perinatologist – Dr. P. We’re having the nuchal translucency tomorrow ~ if I think too hard about it, I get pretty nervous actually. But I’m very excited to be able to see my little ones again. I just pray that they all are measuring well and we don’t come back with some false positive odds that cause us more anxiety.

We have told a couple of friends and most of the rest of our extended family now ~ I told Lauri last Thurs evening when Mom and I went over to visit baby Lizzie. And on Saturday, we went out for drinks (well, I drank water) with the Zucco’s and we told them together. They were pretty floored too. It’s kinda funny hearing people’s reactions to the triplets.

I’m still feeling really good, aside from some allergies or a cold I seem to be fighting. I did a lot of yard work this weekend and am having some pain in my sciatic nerve – hoping I just over did it a little bit and it will feel better in another day or so. My appetite is gone today, probably b/c I’m not feeling great but I’m trying to eat anyway. Can’t really taste much so as long as I’m getting the calories, I guess that is what counts.

I really can’t wait until I can start feeling these little guys kicking around inside – it’s just still so nerve wracking every day, wondering how they are doing. I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know that’s bad but it’s natural I guess ~ after experiencing losses, it’s hard not to let those negative thoughts creep in.

My clothes do not fit anymore – yikes! I am so lucky that Lauri gave me 4 bins of maternity clothes that are awesome – I spent a few hours over the weekend packing up my winter stuff and moving my closets over. Since we now will have a real nursery, we’re losing a whole closet! All of my winter stuff and my spring stuff that will not fit now got packed away. We’ll have to move it down to the crawlspace, which makes me pretty nervous. But we don’t really have a choice – we’re maxed on space now. Can you imagine what will happen when the 3 musketeers arrive? WOW. We’ll manage though – their room will be quite tight but that’s ok – they will be all snuggly in there I guess. I’m holding out to save the guest room as long as possible!

More tomorrow after my appt – hopefully it will be nothing but good news.
Oh, and did I mention? I'm 11 weeks today!