Mothers Day at the beach

This year was my 6th Mothers Day as an official Mom. My first one, back in May 2006 was when all of you were still in my belly - and it was just about 8 weeks after we learned we were having triplets. I will never forget the feeling I had that Mothers Day - it was overwhelming. I was excited, feeling lucky, scared and absolutely honored that God had chosen me to carry you THREE. As the years went on, all of our Mothers Day celebrations in our house have been awesome. I don't know that I will ever be able to explain how special it is - but suffice to say that it certainly is one of my favorite days of the year.

This year was no exception. We decided to go to the beach for Mothers Day weekend - and we pushed celebrating with our (Daddy's & mine) Mothers until after the weekend. I was thankful that the Grandmothers understood and were ok with our decision since we would not be seeing them on that day. We went to the beach on Saturday at Assateague. It was an incredibly beautiful day and I couldn't think of anything I would have rather done. I called in my perfect weekend. Time with my family, at my favorite place. A friend sent me a text message that day, while we were there. She posed the question "if you had 24 hours to yourself, how would you spend your time". My response: "a little bit of me time, a little bit of hubby time and a little bit of kid time". As I reflected, I realized that my day had started just that way - and it finished just that way too. I felt lucky.

When we arrived at the beach, as we were getting out of the car, a butterfly came near me. It fluttered around for a few minutes and then we started unloading and I lost track of it. As we set up our things, it came back around when I sat down in my beach chair. Butterfly's always remind me of Calvin. And he was very present in my mind and heart that day. Mothers Day was the day 5 years ago that we spread his ashes so of course, it's an extra special day for that reason too. As the butterfly fluttered around, I smiled. Knowing it was probably him hanging around with us.

Later, I took a walk with you boys as Daddy fished. We walked a ways down the beach, collecting shells and talking. As we walked, we came upon a lady with a puppy. You were immediately drawn to the puppy of course. We stood for a minute and the lady asked if you were twins. I replied quickly and said "yes, they are". Cole, you immediately corrected me by saying "actually, no, we're triplets. I have a brother in heaven, his name is Calvin". I loved hearing you say that. Tears sprung to my eyes, and my heart swelled. You were proud and matter of fact. I'm proud of you that you thought of your brother - and were not afraid to tell someone!

Oh how I wish he was here with us. And I know, somewhere inside, you feel his presence. When we returned to our place on the beach, the butterfly was still there. It stayed there with Daddy when we left, and waited for our return. As we packed up the car to go, it did one last pass, right by the windshield. It was then that I commented on the butterfly - and said "I've seen that little butterfly ever since we arrived". Daddy gave me a nod. And we drove away. We both knew what that butterfly was. I was grateful for that sign and your proud disclosure to a stranger - the perfect gift for Mothers Day.