Looking back...

I've been contemplating this post for quite a while now. The main reason I have contemplated it is my fear that even one reader of my blog is in the throws of infertility treatment and reads this post about others being successful while they are still struggling. I do know that there are still so many women out there who are struggling with fertility problems - both primary and secondary infertility. It's just such a tough road and can be so painful. But my hope would be that reading this would instill some HOPE to those people to keep at it. Don't give up the fight - as hard as it is emotionally and physically, you can do it.

I had dinner with a friend recently who I met while on my "fertility journey" a few years ago. We met on an online support board (Resolve) and figured out that we both lived in Annapolis and were going to the same fertility clinic. We met for coffee a few weeks later and have been friends since that time. We spent many a day in the doctors office together biting our finger nails waiting on results.

I also keep in regular contact with many of the girls that I met on the Baby Center Ectopic Pregnancy Board way back after my first ectopic pregnancy in 2004. This board was started with about 8 of us who had experienced ectopic pregnancies and were moving on to IVF. All at the same time. We're spread out all around the country & world - Georgia, Minnesota, Indiana, New Jersey, Texas, Wisconsin, South Carolina, Maryland and even a friend in Australia! I've met one of the gals in person - but we all anxiously await the day we can all meet in person.

One of my friends who has been struggling to have a baby since before I was doing so, recently fell pregnant ON HER OWN! After tens (or hundreds) of thousands of dollars spent, a couple of fertility clinics, years worth of doctors appointments in various states in the US, thousands of injectible hormone shots, a few losses of babies (one late term loss of twins), SHE'S PREGNANT! And she's pretty far along now - yet has not let the cat out of the bag officially. Do you blame her? How is that for miracles? She was waiting to start her very last cycle - and low and behold, God gave her a little surprise.

Of this extended group of infertility acquaintences, I am happy to report that all of us have now had children or are expecting babies in the next few months. Some have even had their 2nd or 3rd babies, some IVF and some naturally after fertility treatment. There are no words to explain how heart warming that is. Although I know that so many women out there are still battling infertility and living childless, those people who I have been closely following have had success. Each and every one of them have been blessed with their own baby; none have had to be resolved with living without children. What a blessing. Modern medicine has come so far and if it weren't for that, many of us might not be so lucky to have our children.

During my struggles with infertility over the last few years, I have met some incredible people. This "family" of sorts acted as a lifeline during these tough times. Included in this family were the nurses and doctors at our fertility clinic, my OBGYN doctors and nurses, my acupuncturists, my friends going through the same roller coaster of infertility, the doctors and nurses at the hospital where I was bedrested, the NICU staff, my fellow mothers of multiples friends; and the list goes on. To say that this life experience has opened up new doors is an understatement. My world has expanded to include some extremely amazing, powerful people and friendships. It's always amazing to see where our life experiences take us - and often times while in the throws of life itself, we cannot always imagine why we're on the path we're on. Then down the line at some point, it starts to become a bit more clear.

The fertility journey is still not over for us. We have frozen embryos. We're in a quandry about our next steps. It's a moral issue. It's an emotional issue. It's a physical issue. Those decisions are not easy ones. But ones that we certainly have experts to help guide us on. Our lives have been forever changed by our experiences - even though so many of these experiences tested our hearts, minds, patience and perseverence, they have affected us in very positive ways. As time goes on, I continue to heal from the "hard" parts of our journey - and I'll continue to thank God for putting me in this place, for it's been just as rewarding as it has been hard.