Alpha Moms

Sometimes I feel like I live under a rock with regard to modern day news and concepts. This week, one of my great girlfriends sent over an article from the USA Today about Alpha Moms vs. Slacker Moms.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2007-05-08-alpha-beta-moms_N.htm

For whatever reason, this was the first time I heard of the term Alpha Mom and actually got an explanation as to what it was. Immediately, I became intrigued and have been trying to figure out what I am, since. My first instinct upon reading the article was to think, “gosh, I REALLY hope I’m NOT an Alpha Mom”. After my more extensive research, it appears that I fall somewhere in the middle of alpha and slacker. Be that as it may, I find it so interesting that this concept is such a buzz now. Some people feel that an Alpha Mom is a goal to achieve, others feel it is a curse.

If you look at what “they” (and who is “they”?) say are the main characteristics of Alpha Mom’s, my checklist is about half checked.

-High Fashion – hardly
-High Tech – eh, sorta I carry a cell phone (which is ALWAYS being used according to my husband) and a Palm Pilot (no Blackberry or Treo)
-Only buy the BEST products (aka, strollers etc.) – not really, I’m very cost conscious with two babies
-Trend setter – hardly
-Spend considerable time on the internet – CHECK
-Multi-tasker – CHECK
-Work inside and outside of the home – CHECK
-Keep a Blog – CHECK
-Type A – CHECK
-Try to do it ALL – CHECK

OK, so now what? Whether I am or am not an Alpha Mom, I’ve suddenly been forced to look at the idea – and analyze a bit whether I’m trying to do too much or whether I’m in the right place for now. My initial conclusions are: I really like my life balance for now. The one thing I miss terribly is time with my husband – but we’re doing the best we can with that and I know that down that road, that will get better. I will say however that it’s become extremely apparent to me why time is passing so quickly – there is not a moment to spare during my days. This is true of all Mom’s though – whether they are stay at home Moms or career Moms. You use the time that you have and try to cram as much in as you can!

I’m really glad to see that the debate is not focused on stay at home vs. career Moms any more. I never liked that debate. It’s not a fair comparison and I do think that too many people had too many opinions on that issue. People choose what is best for their family for a multitude of reasons and it’s unfair of others to judge those decisions. As the article says, this latest skirmish is about personal parenting styles. That said, back to A-Mom thing.

In my “research” to learn more about the A-Mom concept, I came across some very interesting points. I thought they were worth posting – just to make us think.

This was the best one, IMO. “There’s an illusion that you can control who your child will become if you do all the right things, but that’s a problematic illusion because parenting is about discovering who your child is and fostering their growth and development as an individual”. I love that reminder. It is so easy to get caught up in what other people are doing with their children or what their children are doing. Random people are always asking me what my kids are “doing now”. It doesn’t matter what others are doing – focus on your own children, their needs & wants, and that is the most important thing.

“Our children are people – not projects. Motherhood is not a contest”. Love that one too.

For those who are career Moms and think they might be Alpha Mom’s, here’s a good quote: “it’s hard to turn off that switch if you have been extremely competent at being super-successful. Here you are confronted with this baby(ies), and the road map is less clear”.

Upon the advice of my girlfriend who originally sent the article, I purchased the book “I was a Really Good Mom before I had Kids”. I can’t wait to read it.

This is one of those concepts in life (A-Mom) that I think people might be spending too much time analyzing. It’s all about media hype and they have taken this to the nth degree, yet again. The most important thing is to enjoy your life balance and savor every moment. Everyone’s needs are different so whatever that may be for someone, so be it. I’m glad that I have given this concept some thought – although I never determined what I really am, I’ve been reminded of what is important and that is all that matters. As long as we're enjoying the ride, it's all good!