10 years ago you arrived in emergency after several weeks of
trying to keep you quiet and growing inside my belly. You were 12 weeks early and we were
scared. We were dying to meet you but
wished you would wait a little longer.
Calvin had other plans and into the world you came!
You two changed me completely; you made me a Mom. Someday when you have children of your own
you will comprehend how much that means.
I’m doing my best at teaching you and helping you grow up. Sometimes I get it right, often I do
not. You and your needs are always my
first priority.
I want you to know how much I love to watch you. I love watching you sleep, learn, play
sports, have fun, be challenged, play with each other and love your
family. I love watching you laugh and smile. Your smiles light up my world and make my
heart happy.
You two have taught me so many things. You make me a better person – as I see our
images in both of you. The bond between
a Mom and son is special. It is me who
you come to in the middle of the night after a bad dream. It is me who you yell at when things don’t go
quite the way you expect or hope. You
ask good questions, some unanswerable, but you trust in me with your
heart. I hope to always be your safe place. We have
our secrets “in the tree”. I love that
about us.
10 years ago, I would have never guessed how fast this time
would go. We’ve had so many firsts that I
clearly remember – and so many “lasts” that I haven’t realized until they were
gone. I sometimes wish I could have all
of those things back again and enjoy them one last time. But I also see how much you are growing up
and who you are becoming. I’m proud of
who you both are and of all that you have learned and become. Occasionally I still get to hold your hand –
and those days are fleeting. Each time,
I wonder if it’s the last and hope and pray that it’s not. JD, you still hold my hand at the most
unexpected times and every time, it gives me a lump in my throat. I love that
little hand in mine.
Please know that as you grow and spread your wings, I am
rooting for you. It may feel like I am
trying to hold you back, but I am in your corner and I’m your biggest
cheerleader!
Happy 10th birthday boys - I love you always.
-Mommy
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