EIGHT!

It's your birthday eve - and as I sit here wanting to write, I'm having a hard time.  It's been a long busy week of getting back into the school/sports routine. We're all pretty exhausted.  I have cried every day this week.  Until about an hour ago, I chalked it up to watching the other Moms around me with Kindergartners sending their kids off to school for the first time.  Every day at the bus stop this week, a different family said goodbye to one of their kids who was starting school for the first time.  I cried with the Moms who were standing there crying as the bus pulled away for the first time.  I'll never forget that feeling of watching that bus pull away with my most precious beings who were now in someone else's control.

But as for the last 7 years, I am reminded that it's "that" time of year again. While you guys long for your birthday all year long, I have mixed emotions about it because it's also the day that your sweet hero brother went to heaven.  It's funny - this week I have had several occasions where Calvin's name and story have come up. Just a few hours ago at soccer practice, I told another Mom about him.  And it was then that it dawned on me that my tears and edgy sadness all week is coming from your birthday, which is also the anniversary of Cal's death.

These are tough emotions for me. I find myself excited for the two of you - and so thankful that God gave you to us.  But my heart also hurts, missing your brother.  We usually let a balloon go for him to heaven on this day. And wish him a happy birthday.  We'll be sure to do that again tomorrow.  In the meantime, I hope that he's looking down on us - smiling and having his own special party in heaven tomorrow.

It's certainly a day to celebrate two of the most amazing eight year olds there are on this earth. I could not be more proud of the boys you are - and may you always know how much I love you!