Empowered & Brave

So, Cole, you were so brave this morning.  SO BRAVE. For a six year old who should not have to deal with this kind of thing, you did great.  I'm so proud of you doing such a hard thing. So proud, that I cried as you left on the bus.  It's all part of growing up - doing hard things is going to make you a much stronger person down the line. You will learn this through experiences like this.

You got off of the bus yesterday very upset. It's probably the 4th or 5th time this has happened this year. Your feelings were hurt and you were so upset by the 2 boys (your seat mates) who were giving you a hard time. They were calling you a "seat hopper" and telling secrets and laughing.  On prior days, they have excluded you and have ruined some of your art projects that you are carrying home. They make you feel small and sad. Words hurt buddy - I know that.

As sad as it makes you, it makes me 100 times that sad. And 100 times more angry. My hairs are up and I'm in protective Mommy mode. I have NO tolerance for bullies. Nobody deserves to be treated anything less than kindly. Nobody.

When this has happened before, we have talked about moving your seat on the bus but you weren't ready to do that. You said it would be ok and you wanted to stay. Then you would have a course of good days and it would be alright. But eventually, it happened again. A few times.  This time, we're done. No more. You don't need to take that kind of treatment.

We talked about how to fix it. What can we do to make it ok for you? Moving your seat is the first thing.  We discussed how to talk to your bus driver and what to say.  You asked me to do it for you.  But YOU need to do it.  And guess what?  This morning, you confidently got on the bus and asked the bus driver for a seat change (which he agreed to).

The second thing we discussed was how to approach your seat mates and let them know why you  moved.  You said "they will say "hooray, he moved" - which is going to be hard for you to hear. It's never any fun knowing that someone doesn't want you there with them. But guess what buddy? If they are going to act like that, you don't want to be sitting with them anyway.  You don't need people in your life who aren't nice. You are bigger and better than that.

Once you talked to the bus driver, you walked back and stopped at your now "old" seat. You said something to the boy sitting there. I could see you through the window.  I presume (and hope) that you said you were changing seats because he was being mean to you. And that you won't be friends with him anymore if he's mean.   And then you sat down in a new seat. 

I'm dying to see you this afternoon. I want to give you the biggest hug and tell you how proud I am. And I also want to know what you said to him. It's my hope that this is going to stop now that you have taken a stand for yourself.

Kids can be cruel and mean. And this isn't the last time we will have to deal with something like this. But wow, you're off to a great start with being brave and confronting people who aren't good to you. You have such goodness inside - don't ever let anyone take that away!

Love you brave boy!
-Mommy