Every once in a while...

...we get a reality check. And sometimes they hit me like a ton of bricks. Recently, I learned of a family who's precious 5 1/2 year old baby girl was diagnosed with an inoperable, untreatable brain tumor.  The doctors gave her weeks to live. She was going to die. She died 5 days later.  When I heard the news that she had been diagnosed, it took my breath away. I don't even know them.  A few days later, when I heard she died, I was inconsolable for about an hour.  I could not stop crying. We now have something in common.  Luckily, this happened while the kids were at school and I happened to be at home alone.  I was scheduled to leave to get them shortly after I heard. I couldn't drive. And I was afraid that if I stopped crying long enough to get there, when I saw them, I would lose it again. 

This family is amazing. They learned of the diagnosis and the young Mom (with 2 other daughters younger than Maddie) called a friend who is a photographer and demanded that they come take their pictures the following day.  This family photo session is one of the most beautiful I have EVER seen.  Especially in light of the circumstances.  I saw these photos before Maddie died and my heart just hurt for them - knowing that they had to explain to this little lady that she was going to die.  And they had to live with the fact that each day could be her last with them.  Unbearable to think about.  That weekend, their ENTIRE extended family, took off for the mountains to celebrate Maddie.  They made the days the best they could for her. How did they even know enough to do this?

Stories like this always jerk me back to where I need to be. I get so easily caught up in the daily grind and errands and things that don't really matter THAT much.  My job is important because I contribute to our family income - but at the end of the day, is it worth missing out on time with my kids on my off days when I never know what tomorrow could bring?  Is that phone call that important for me to take when we're sitting down having lunch together chatting about their day?  We all know the answer.  And I keep reminding myself that it shouldn't be these tragedies that happen that have to remind me.  I need to do better at remembering DAILY, what is most important.

My heart still hurts for this family.  Her sisters are too young to understand what has happened to Maddie - but they surely miss her terribly.  And her parents arms must ache to hold her.  My own pain was drudged back up through this - understandable I guess.  The pain doesn't sting as badly, as the time passes along.  But it's still there - and always will be.  My first thought when I heard that Maddie died was "gosh, I sure hope that Calvin is there with her and helping her along". I don't know what heaven is like - but I envision that it's a carefree, fun, timeless place.  The children are surely lucky to be there, in God's hands - it's just so hard to let them go....